Happiness and Heartbreak

Two days later and I was saying goodbye to my parents, and Alex was throwing my bags in the new tour bus.

“Take care and call if you need anything. Keep these boys in line.” My parents said as we were getting ready to start our summer on tour.

Since I was Alex’s sister and friends with the boys they were letting me stay on a bus with them instead of on the tech bus.
As we were walking out the front door, my mom pulled me to the side.

“Alex told me what Jack did to you. I just want to let you know that if things get too hard on you on tour, just come home. We’ll be here.”

Then, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye.

I made myself at home on the bus and sat down on the couch next to Rian. He was playing Xbox against Alex. Zack and Jack were eating. This was going to be my home for the next three months. We sat around and talked for a while before the boys said that they were sleeping since they had a long trip ahead of them. Once again we were heading to California, to the kick off venue of Warped Tour.

“Are we there yet?” I asked, jokingly.

Only Jack picked up on what I was asking. Smirking a little, he shook his head at me and it felt like we were back in the old days, when everything was happy.

“43 hours,” he said, “but this time I’m not driving.”

For the first time in the past few months, I really laughed. As shocked as I was, Alex looked out from his bunk at me and Jack laughing and smiled at me. Jack and I both went to our bunks and climbed in too.

I had been lying in my bunk listening to the bus for and hour when I realized that I wasn’t able to sleep. As quietly as I could, I got up and walked into the living area. I flipped on the TV and then the Xbox. I might as well make myself a gaming profile on here if I’m going to be here for a while. I set it up and made my profile and then slid in Left 4 Dead. I was so into killing zombies that I hadn’t realized that I was no longer the only person in the room. Jack was standing in the doorway watching me.

“How long have you been there?” I asked.

“Long enough to realize that you need some help in this game.”

With that, he grabbed the second controller and sat down on the couch beside me. We restarted the game and I had to admit, we got a lot further than I had. Just for fun, I unloaded two and a half clips into Jacks person’s back, claiming that I thought he was a zombie. He just shook his head at me and hit my character with the back of his gun. Soon, we weren’t even after the zombies. We were too busy beating up other characters in the game and laughing.

“You know, I never meant to hurt your feelings.” Jack said, looking down at his controller.

“Well, what did you expect Jack. You broke up with me four months before our wedding. I think I had a right to be upset.”

“I know. I guess I really screwed everything up, didn’t I.”

“No Jack. The only thing you screwed up was me.”

“That’s the worst thing that I could have ever done. You know, after I said that the girl I was seeing all of a sudden didn’t seem that great anymore. She wasn’t you.”

“Look Jack, I really don’t want to talk about how you cheated on me ok.”

“You’re still wearing the ring…” Jack pointed out, staring at the ring on my left hand.

“I hadn’t even realized it. I guess I just forgot to take it off.”

I pulled it off of my hand and dropped it in Jack’s hand. He stared at me like he was hurt for a moment and then handed it back to me.

“Keep it; I gave it to you for a reason. I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”

“Jack I really don’t think that…” He cut me off as I started to protest.

“Just keep it for me, ok?”

“Ok.” I said, silently.

I stood up and slid the ring in my pocket, suddenly extremely uncomfortable.

“I’m going to go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.” I told Jack, rushing to my bunk.

Now I really couldn’t sleep. I just sat up in my bunk wondering if Jack and I could ever be happy again. At the same time, Jack was sitting in the living room wondering the same thing.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of cussing and the smell of pancakes. I rolled out of my bunk and into the floor, stood up, and walked into the kitchen area.

“Hey Catie!” Zack said, flipping pancakes in a pan on the small stove.

“Good morning,” I mumbled, wishing the smell of food hadn’t urged me awake, “What type of pancakes are those?”

“Just plain old pancakes, want some?”

“She only eats chocolate chip pancakes.” I heard Jack answer for me from the living room.

I looked over and smiled at him, while he grinned back.

“It’s true.” I said, as Zack looked at me with a shocked face.

“Are you kidding me? Heaven forbid someone try to do something nice around here. Alex said you liked pancakes so I was going to make a nice breakfast for everyone, I’ve been slaving over this stove all morning.” Zack said, hands on his hips and laughing.

“Oh please,” Jack yelled, “You have been standing over that stove for close to five minutes. Psh.”

I laughed and apologized to Zack before putting on a pot of coffee and sitting down with my laptop at the table. I checked my email and the boy’s myspace for them, then shut it down and got some coffee. Just then I heard Alex roll out of his bunk followed by a very loud ‘FUCK’. Well, at least I’m not the only one that rolls out of bunks.

So far, everything on tour was going great. Maybe Jack and I could be best friends again, hopefully.

I stepped out of the bus and looked around me. We had finally made it to California. We were parked at the back of the venue and around us other bands were also getting out, setting up and talking. Rian came behind me and lifted me onto his shoulders. Laughing, he brought me over to where Forever the Sickest Kids were standing, saying hello and putting me down.

“Guys, this is Alex’s sister Catie, the one you’ve heard so much about.”

“Oh, yeah, Alex can’t quit talking about you. Now I know why he was beating up on Jack earlier. Who would break up with someone as pretty as you?” one of the members said, I hadn’t quite been introduced yet.

Then, they all laughed again as I blushed, silently cursing my fair skin for showing my embarrassment.

Just then Alex, Zack, and Jack came around the corner.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Alex asked.

“We were just being introduced to your lovely sister.” The same member that told me I was pretty said.

Alex looked over at me and smiled, raising his eyebrows at me. I smirked and walked towards Alex to talk to him. Jack was scowling and walked away.
“What’s his problem?” I asked Alex and Zack as I watched Jack walk away.

“He’s just being pissy because he knows that he made a mistake.” Zack said, smiling at me.

Was that really how Jack felt? I mean, if anyone knew what he was thinking it would be one of the guys. As I contemplated this, Alex pulled me from my thoughts by saying that he was introducing me to Forever the Sickest Kids. I learned that the guy that told me I was pretty was their lead singer, Jonathan Cook. The others were Caleb, Austin, Kyle, Marc and Kent. They seemed like pretty nice guys so far and Jonathan was definitely a charmer. Jack was always in the back of my head though, he was my first love and my first fiancé, unfortunately though, that never made it to husband. Thinking about it was bringing tears to my eyes and when Rian looked over at me and saw, he knew exactly what was wrong.

“Just give it time Cate. Everything will work itself out, you’ll see.”

I wish I could have believed his words, but somehow I couldn’t see that happening.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

“WOOHOO!”

I looked over and saw my brother in a drunken fit, shouting and jumping around. Tonight we had the kick off party and everyone here was drunk. Everyone except me, of course. I’m always the designated caretaker of the drunks. I looked around, pinpointing each of the guys to make sure that they were staying out of trouble. As I turned looking for Jack, I found him right behind me.

“Hey…Catie….I think I…need to go back to the bus.”

“Sure, come on. Put your arm around me.”

I supported his weight, that boy needed to eat more, and practically carried him back to the bus. Then, I helped him into his bunk and closed the curtain. A few minutes later, I heard Jack calling my name.

“Yeah Jack?”

“Come here.”

I sighed, getting up off of the couch and walking into the bunk room.

“Why’d you help me?”

“What do you mean, why’d I help you? You know I’m always here to help you guys when you need it. I can’t just leave you passed out outside, can I?

“Yeah…but…just, I’m sorry. That’s all. I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Get some sleep, Jack. I’m going to go see if the other guys are ok.”

“Ok, I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Bye, Jack. Go to bed ok.”

“Ok.”

With that, I closed his curtain again and made my way back outside. Everyone always said that alcohol forced out the truth. Maybe people are right. Maybe Jack really is sorry. When I got back to the noise of the party I found that the guys were all fine and they were sitting around a fire with the guys from FTSK.

“Hey boys.”

“Hey! Come have a seat. Where’s Jacky boy?” Rian asked, laughing.

“Drunk as fuck. I took him back to the bus.”

“Ok. Are you going to stay a while?”

“Not around here. I need someplace quiet. To think.”

“I know the perfect place. It’s right around the corner. It’s a little field behind the venue.” Jonathan said.

“Ok, thanks.”

I said goodbye and goodnight and walked around trying to find a quiet spot. Sure enough, about ten minutes later I found the spot that Jonathan had been talking about. I laid down on the ground, staring up at the stars. It never ceased to amaze me at how big the universe was. There were whole other galaxies out there, just waiting to be discovered. I closed my eyes and just relaxed. Then, I heard footsteps and felt someone sit down next to me. I looked over and saw Jonathan staring at me.

“You kind of looked like you needed someone to talk to, so I came after you.”

“I guess I do. I don’t know. My life has been flipped completely upside down lately. I’m not even sure of who I am anymore.”

“I’ve had that feeling before, just not the exact same way you have. I have no idea what you must be going through right now. I mean, Alex told me what Jack did, and it’s horrible. I honestly don’t know how you even managed to come on this tour.”

“I came because I love being with the guys. They’re my family. Jack may have screwed everything up, but I still love him. It hurts me every day, being here and all. But I just keep going, because I know that I’m never going to regret a moment of what we had.”

“Wow. You’re a really strong girl, you know that?”

“Only on the outside.”

Jonathan looked at me for a long moment, and then got up off of the grass.

“Come on, we might want to get going back to the busses. I’ll walk you back.”

“Thanks, for listening.”

“It’s no problem. Anytime you want to talk, I’ll always listen.”

We got to the door of the All Time Low bus and I punched in the pass code to unlock the door.

“I’ll see you around Catie.”

“Goodnight, Jonathan.”

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek quickly, before turning and leaving me to wonder what just happened.

When I got in the bus all of the boys were fast asleep. I climbed into my bunk and shut my eyes; going back to a time when I had everything I could’ve ever wanted. Jack.

I watched as Jack walked into the house, smiling that goofy grin and following Alex. He stopped by the living room and handed me a small, wrapped up box. I stared up at him and he laughed, telling me to just open it. Inside was a necklace with a small, silver heart on it.

“It’s so that you never forget that you have my heart, even when I’m gone, it’s with you.”

I opened my eyes back up and looked down. The necklace was still securely fastened on my neck. I hadn’t taken it off since he gave it to me. Slowly, I reached back and undid the clasp. When I had it off from around my neck, I got down out of my bunk and reached into the drawer that was holding our empty suitcases. I found Jack’s and opened it up, placing the necklace inside.