Happiness and Heartbreak

When I came back into consciousness, I was hearing voices around me. I looked around, remembering that I was in FTSK’s bus. Where we moving? I climbed down out of the bunk and then realized that all of the guys were in their bunks, except for Jon. Where was he?

“Hey, are we on the road?” I asked, hoping someone would answer me.

“Oh, hey, sleeping beauty’s awake! Yeah, we are. We left like twenty minutes ago. Your brother said to just let you sleep, that you probably needed it. If you want to go back to their bus, you’re going to have to wait a bit. You can switch back over once we stop at a rest station. Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Kyle answered, before closing the curtain of his bunk again and going to sleep.

I walked out to the living room, looking around. I found Jon curled up asleep on the couch. Creeping quietly, I opened up the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Then I walked over and slowly sat down on the end of the couch. I watched as Jon stirred and then sat up, looking around.

“Oh, hey, you’re awake. What’s up?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Nothing. Come on, go sleep in your bed. I don’t need it anymore.”

“Nah, it’s yours while you’re here. I’m fine out here.”

“Jon, go to your bed…NOW. I feel bad for oversleeping and taking your bed from you. I know that you have to be beat from playing shows today and you had radio interviews and a FUSE interview, you need rest to hit the stage again tomorrow. Now go to sleep, in your bed.”

“No. You go to sleep in my bed. You need the reset just as bad as I do.”

“Yeah, but I’m not making you sleep on the couch. Now go or else.”

“Or else what?”

“Or else I will personally kick your ass.”

“Yeah right,” Jon said, laughing “I’d like to see you try.”

With that I stood up, going to playfully punch him on the arm when he suddenly scooped me up in his arms.

“Now, you were saying.”

“Never mind…” How come I could never win?

He carried me to his bunk and set me in, then did something totally unexpected. He climbed in beside me.

“There. How about this, we’ll both just sleep in the bunk.”

“Umm, ok. That works.” I said, scooting closer to the wall.

“Goodnight” Jon said, kissing me on the head.

Then, he rolled over and soon, I heard his breathing even out. He was asleep.

I stared up at the ceiling, thinking about everything that had happened recently. Was I really ready for a new relationship? Could I handle being with Jonathan? Did he even like me or did he just pity me. And then, I thought about all of the pain I lived through when Jack broke up with me, before our wedding. I thought about how much happier I’ve been since I started talking to Jon and how much he’s managed to make me laugh. Yeah, I was ready. I hope.

I was woken up three hours later by Jonathan whispering to me that we were at a gas station. Then, as I opened my eyes, I realized that my head was on his chest and I was cuddled into him as close as I could be.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

“I don’t care. I was waking you up to see if you wanted anything like a snack or something and was going to ask you if you wanted to go back to your brother’s bus or stay here.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t care, wherever you’re happy is where I want you to be.”

“Well, if you don’t mind I think I’ll go back to my brother’s bus. I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“Hey, I don’t care. You can stay on our bus as long as you like. All of the guys like you, and I like you so it’s fine.”

“I need a shower and my stuff, so I’m going back for now. Walk me off the bus?”

“Sure.” Jon said, smiling.

He walked me to the doors of the All Time Low bus across the truck stop and slowly took my hand. I smiled up at him, and started into the bus.
“Hey, wait for a second.”

I walked back down the steps and looked at him. Then, slowly, he leaned in and kissed me. I kissed back, unsure of everything right now. Of course, my moment was ruined by Jack storming by me slamming the bus door behind him. I frowned and looked at Jonathan.

“Go talk to him.” Jon said, turning around.

“Hey Jon, wait.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s ok, do what you have to do.”

“I’ll see you when we get to the venue tomorrow morning, ok?” I asked, smiling and holding both of his hands in mine.

“Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

“Bye” I said, waving and walking onto the bus. In the back, I heard a guitar strumming.

I knew the chords. It was the chords of the song that Jack had written for me when we were dating. I looked in and saw him lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling and playing his guitar. I grabbed a blanket and walked into the room, sitting down on the couch beside him.

“You want to talk?” I asked him, waiting.

“Not really. I just want to be alone. I need to think.”

“Jack, are you ok? I mean, one day you’re happy and excited, the next you’re the complete opposite. You fight with the guys and yell and are upset. What happened?”

“I lost you.”

“It was your decision.”

“I never realized that I would feel my heart break because of it.”

“Did you ever stop and think what I went through when you broke up with me, Jack? I have a wedding dress sitting in my closet at home. How do you think that feels?”

“You stopped wearing the necklace I gave you.” Jack said, sighing.

“I finally decided that it’s time for me to move on.”

With that, I walked out of the room. Rian was standing outside of the door waiting for me.

“Alex said you were talking to Jack. I figured I would come and talk to you. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I guess. I just…ugh he confuses me so much. The minute I’m finally starting to feel happy again, he decides that he made a mistake and regrets it. It’s almost like he enjoys watching me squirm.”

“I can only tell you that hopefully, everything will work out for you. You’re like a sister to me and I hate watching you have to deal with this. If Jonathan makes you happy, then be with him. If Jack makes you happy, then be with him. Whoever you choose, even if it ends up being no one, me, Zack and Alex have your back. We’re always here, ok? Now, get some sleep. I’ll see you bright and early. And we have chocolate and peanut butter chips to make you some pancakes. Zack is determined to make something you’ll enjoy.”

“Ok, thanks Rian, ‘night.”

“‘Night, Catie.”