Happiness and Heartbreak

As I slept that night, I dreamt. First, I was in high school with Jack, walking through the hallways, and then he morphed into Jonathan, and we were sitting on a hill in the sunlight talking, and then I was walking down the isle in my wedding dress, but no one was waiting for me at the alter, I was all alone. As I searched around me, I realized that the entire place was empty. Slowly, I turned around me looking for someone, anyone, and then I was engulfed in darkness. When I woke up, everyone was asleep except for Zack; I saw the light on in his bunk.

“Good Morning!” Zack said, rolling out of his bunk, “I’m getting ready to start making pancakes. I’m not going to let you starve to death.”

“I’m in no fear of starving Zack. Oh, hey, can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“It’s about Jack.”

“Oh boy, ok.”

“I don’t know what to do about Jack, it’s literally tearing me apart inside. I still love him, Zack. And he was so upset when I kissed Jonathan last night. And I like Jon, but when I kiss him, it’s not the same. It’s not Jack.”

“Catie, the only thing I can tell you is to wait and see. If you want, I can talk to Jack. All of us have seen how this breakup has affected both of you. I guess my only advice is follow you’re heart. Sorry if I’m no Doctor Phil.”

“Thanks, Zack, its ok. I just, I’m so confused. I think I might have to go home soon if this keeps up.”

“Come on, stay with us. You’re like a sister to me and Rian, and you are a sister to Alex. Just stay with us, we’ve missed you.”

“I’ll make my decision after I try some of those pancakes of yours.” I answered, smiling.

Fifteen minutes later, I had a stack of pancakes as high as my head and was eating like I hadn’t been fed in a year. Zack was definitely an amazing cook, and a great friend. Soon, as the smell diffused through the air, the guys one by one entered the kitchen. Jack was the last one in, and had dark circles under his eyes. I’m guessing he had a rough night too. As much as I tried to ignore the feeling, I missed him, and every time I saw him I longed for what we had once had. Memories flooded around me, and soon I had tears in my eyes.
I had to get off of the bus.

Alex followed me outside, just great.

“Come here and talk to me. What’s wrong?” He asked, concerned.

All I had to do was turn towards him with tears streaking my face and he knew. He always knew.

“Catie, you made me a promise. Quit thinking about what could have been and think about what’s going on now. You’ve graduated college, as soon as you start looking, you’re going to have an amazingly successful career, and I’m here to help you get started. You can help me and the guys in the studio after the tour, and I know Jonathan and Forever the Sickest Kids is interested in getting you into the studio with them. Come on, Jonathan’s an awesome guy. Give him a chance.”

“Alex, if I give Jon a chance, who says that Jack isn’t going to give someone else a chance. I don’t think I can watch that. As much as I hate him, I still love him, Alex.”

“Everything will work out eventually sis, it always does. Someday, you’ll be ok.”

“Thanks, Alex. You want to walk with me over to the merchandise bus. I think I’m going to go ahead and get the ATL tent set up before it gets really hot.”

“Yeah, come on. I’m going to grab a set list for today too. You promised Natalie that you’d go and see Escape The Fate.”