I'd Be Lying
I
“You do know that word really freaking offends me, right?” He looked at me oddly, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head.
“The word ‘wet’ offends you?” I stuck out my bottom lip and blew air into my bangs exasperatedly.
“No! I mean the word after that.”
“You mean pussy?”
“Yes! That’s a fucking cat! Not my personal private area, thank you very much,” his eyebrows rose again, before he grinned slightly.
“You’re quite the catch, darling,” it was my turn to look at him with a confused expression on my face.
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” He turned back to me, away from his friend, reaching out his hand and placing it on my cheek, rubbing his thumb along my jaw line.
“Only if you want it to be, honey.” I turned away quickly in disgust before standing from the lunch table.
“Eww, gross. Okay, I don’t do guys, alright? So don’t ever touch me like that again.”
“Wait, you’re a fucking lesbian?” I turned around before crossing my arms over my chest, giving him a pointed way-to-go-captain-obvious look.
“No, I just go around and make-out with girls for your entertainment.” I watched as his friend grinned and said ‘I could go for that’ before huffing and finally turning to walk away.
“Well, guys, that just proves that not all lesbians are butch dikes.”
“What the hell did you just say?” I could almost feel the wind come off her small form as she whipped around beside me, plastic lunch tray in her hands and a glare in her eyes.
“I said that not all lesbians are butch dikes. Although, the majority of them are, I mean, look at her,” he pointed to one of the girls sitting in the ‘lesbian corner’ near the doors of the cafeteria. “Oh, and her, and her, and especially her. I mean, God, they look more like guys than I do.”
She slammed her tray down onto the cheap laminated table, causing everyone to jump in their seats and the entire lunchroom to become silent. An almost impossible feat if you ask me.
“Well maybe that’s because your so-called dick is so fucking tiny, you’re barely even a guy yourself.” I smiled to myself as the words Oh, burn came to mind.
Yet, I could see the guy with his so-called dick standing, getting ready for a fight, and I could see her spreading her feet, bracing herself for the first punch. I could see Derrick coming beside me, shoving for a better look and a better position to protect me. I could feel Caitlin pressing her forearms against my tensed back, trying not to fall over from the pushing gathering crowd behind us.
And then, the words spilled from his mouth like vomit and I was in the middle of them, feeling a fist on my face.
“I’m not supposed to hit girls, but you’re no more of a girl than I am.”
“Well then fucking hit me then. I dare you.”
And I felt hands on my back and behind my knees, and I heard words being said into my ear lowly, yet somehow overbearing the shouts that surrounded us. That surrounded me and that one person who was holding me with delicate yet strong arms, and with the dainty yet powerful voice burrowing into my ear.
“Everybody get back! Someone call the nurse down here!”
It was only one punch, how bad could it have been? I felt the indent of a fist and a ring on my eye and cheek. The very same cheek he had held only a few minutes ago. Derrick and Caitlin were both kneeling beside me, their voices quiet and reassuring. The person who was holding my injured off the ground was unknown to me, but their presence was intoxicating, and was the only thing keeping me awake and conscious, even if my eyes were closed.
“Honey, honey can you hear me?” Frail old soft hands patted the skin of my jacket covered arm and I wished to move them away, wished to roll over on my side and mumble ‘just five more minutes please’ snuggling into the warm figure beside me, instead ‘mhm-ff’ and struggling to open my eyes against the bright fluorescents of the lunchroom.
I could feel the faint movement of someone rocking me slowly in their cradling arms, before standing slowly and fluidly and placing my body in a wheelchair, tilting my head back against the headrest.
Lights flashed over me through the rose red lids of my eyes. Light, dark, light, dark, whisper, push, light, dark, light, dark; the never ending cycle down the long single hallway across the school to the nurse’s office, and then just silence. Simple silence surrounded the thick air and pulled its cover over my face. Cold hands lifted it back though, and poked and prodded at my swollen eye and bleeding lip. They poked and prodded at my black and blue, purple and yellow. They walked away then, letting the cover envelope my face once again.
“The word ‘wet’ offends you?” I stuck out my bottom lip and blew air into my bangs exasperatedly.
“No! I mean the word after that.”
“You mean pussy?”
“Yes! That’s a fucking cat! Not my personal private area, thank you very much,” his eyebrows rose again, before he grinned slightly.
“You’re quite the catch, darling,” it was my turn to look at him with a confused expression on my face.
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” He turned back to me, away from his friend, reaching out his hand and placing it on my cheek, rubbing his thumb along my jaw line.
“Only if you want it to be, honey.” I turned away quickly in disgust before standing from the lunch table.
“Eww, gross. Okay, I don’t do guys, alright? So don’t ever touch me like that again.”
“Wait, you’re a fucking lesbian?” I turned around before crossing my arms over my chest, giving him a pointed way-to-go-captain-obvious look.
“No, I just go around and make-out with girls for your entertainment.” I watched as his friend grinned and said ‘I could go for that’ before huffing and finally turning to walk away.
“Well, guys, that just proves that not all lesbians are butch dikes.”
“What the hell did you just say?” I could almost feel the wind come off her small form as she whipped around beside me, plastic lunch tray in her hands and a glare in her eyes.
“I said that not all lesbians are butch dikes. Although, the majority of them are, I mean, look at her,” he pointed to one of the girls sitting in the ‘lesbian corner’ near the doors of the cafeteria. “Oh, and her, and her, and especially her. I mean, God, they look more like guys than I do.”
She slammed her tray down onto the cheap laminated table, causing everyone to jump in their seats and the entire lunchroom to become silent. An almost impossible feat if you ask me.
“Well maybe that’s because your so-called dick is so fucking tiny, you’re barely even a guy yourself.” I smiled to myself as the words Oh, burn came to mind.
Yet, I could see the guy with his so-called dick standing, getting ready for a fight, and I could see her spreading her feet, bracing herself for the first punch. I could see Derrick coming beside me, shoving for a better look and a better position to protect me. I could feel Caitlin pressing her forearms against my tensed back, trying not to fall over from the pushing gathering crowd behind us.
And then, the words spilled from his mouth like vomit and I was in the middle of them, feeling a fist on my face.
“I’m not supposed to hit girls, but you’re no more of a girl than I am.”
“Well then fucking hit me then. I dare you.”
And I felt hands on my back and behind my knees, and I heard words being said into my ear lowly, yet somehow overbearing the shouts that surrounded us. That surrounded me and that one person who was holding me with delicate yet strong arms, and with the dainty yet powerful voice burrowing into my ear.
“Everybody get back! Someone call the nurse down here!”
It was only one punch, how bad could it have been? I felt the indent of a fist and a ring on my eye and cheek. The very same cheek he had held only a few minutes ago. Derrick and Caitlin were both kneeling beside me, their voices quiet and reassuring. The person who was holding my injured off the ground was unknown to me, but their presence was intoxicating, and was the only thing keeping me awake and conscious, even if my eyes were closed.
“Honey, honey can you hear me?” Frail old soft hands patted the skin of my jacket covered arm and I wished to move them away, wished to roll over on my side and mumble ‘just five more minutes please’ snuggling into the warm figure beside me, instead ‘mhm-ff’ and struggling to open my eyes against the bright fluorescents of the lunchroom.
I could feel the faint movement of someone rocking me slowly in their cradling arms, before standing slowly and fluidly and placing my body in a wheelchair, tilting my head back against the headrest.
Lights flashed over me through the rose red lids of my eyes. Light, dark, light, dark, whisper, push, light, dark, light, dark; the never ending cycle down the long single hallway across the school to the nurse’s office, and then just silence. Simple silence surrounded the thick air and pulled its cover over my face. Cold hands lifted it back though, and poked and prodded at my swollen eye and bleeding lip. They poked and prodded at my black and blue, purple and yellow. They walked away then, letting the cover envelope my face once again.