Goodbye Blues

The wind blew softly, tossing all the young girls' hair about as they sat merrily on the cold ground, waiting for Joy. They sat in a circle around the plastic chair and talked amongst themselves about their own boy problems.

"I know a boy named Tyler. He reminds me of Brendon a lot, because he's so mean and weird," Jasmine spoke before taking a sip of her juice. All the girls nodded except for Delilah. She sat with her lunch-box behind her; it would stay unopened until after the story. She stared at her friend and played with the hem of her shirt.

"Brendon isn't mean in the story, though, Jasmine," Delilah said quietly. The girls around the circle turned to look at her. "I mean, he doesn't seem as nice as Ryan or William, but he isn't mean."

Jasmine looked at the timid, blonde girl and sneered. "Delilah, you haven't even heard half the story yet. You don't know if Brendon is mean or not."

Delilah was about to protest against Jasmine, saying that if Brendon was so mean, Joy wouldn't have liked him, but in that moment, the elderly woman sat in her chair, the forced smile on her face. The nurse walked behind the chair and stood there, an angered look on her face. She didn't try to hide it for the young girls who were staring at her.

"Hi Joy," Jasmine said smiling. She pretended as if Delilah hadn't bothered her at all, chewing on her sandwich as if the conversation had gone completely smoothly.

"Hello Jasmine," Joy said softly. Delilah felt odd, hearing Joy's voice so weak and fragile. Something had to have happened before Joy came. And although Delilah was curious, she knew it wasn't her place to ask. Especially in front of all the naive girls who ate their lunches noisily while Joy shared her bittersweet memories with them.

As Delilah wondered exactly what could have gotten Joy in the severe state she was in - so sad and so closed up - Joy began her story without hesitation.

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"Into your buses!" A tour manager with a bullhorn yelled. Brendon and Joy looked towards the young man who was ushering everyone to get into their correct buses. Musicians from all around emerged form places in the venue or came out of buses and went into different ones. Some even came and got coffee and food before rushing into their tour bus, squeezing in between Joy and Brendon to reach the refreshments.

Joy looked at Brendon as everyone slowly disappeared. He sighed and grabbed his cigarettes, shoving them into his pocket, then looked up at Joy. A small smile brightened all his dark features. Joy smiled back as her hand reached out and grabbed her own cigarettes and lighter.

"I guess this is where we say our goodbyes," Brendon said as Joy lit her lighter over and over again - a bad, nervous habit she had. She smirked and nodded. "Until the next stop, then, my lady."

Joy laughed and Brendon chuckled a bit at himself. "See you then."

She turned and began walking towards The Hush Sound's bus, her mind clouded with thoughts of Brendon's smile. It was almost a bitter thought that lingered on Joy's mind. She knew his lips had probably gracefully placed themselves on dozens of girls' lips. It almost made her sick to her stomach as she thought of the kiss he had shared with the girl in the hallway when she had first laid her eyes upon him.

When his lips met the girl's, a dark look passed through his eyes as he slowly closed them. It was almost as if something had overtaken him before the kiss. The darker side of him, full of sins, had become whole.

Joy walked up the tour bus's steps, oblivious to the fact that Brendon was still standing next to the table of snacks, watching her. Once she disappeared from view, he took a deep breath and put his hands on his head, his eyes still on the giant black bus.

"Brendon Urie, get into your bus," His tour manager said into the bullhorn. Brendon turned to the young man, letting his arms fall to his sides. He scoffed, a small smile still on his face, but began walking towards the Panic bus, stuffing his hands in his pockets as the cold Chicago air whistled in his ears.

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"Joy?" Delilah interrupted, much to Joy's dismay.

Joy looked at the young girl, her forced smile still shining weakly on her face. "Yes?"

"Would you say that Brendon was," Delilah asked, swallowing the lump in her throat, almost afraid of the answer, "I don't know, mean?"

The old lady's hazel eyes met Delilah's big, blye ones in an instant. Crowded memories shot through Joy's mind as she pondered on her answer; was he? The bad memories were the ones that Joy wouldn't let go of as she thought. But she didn't let it bother her.

"He wasn't mean," Joy said calmly, "Just mysterious, and it made him a little cold."

Delilah nodded, her eyes tearing away from Joy's and looking at Jasmine, who rolled her eyes and bit into her sandwich as Joy restarted.

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"I saw you talking to Brendon," Greta stated as Joy made her way to her bunk. Sick of the pajamas she was in, Joy was desperate to change. She grabbed her suitcase from her bunk and opened it as greta came into the room, leaning against the door-frame.

"I saw you talking to Ryan," Joy countered as she rummaged through her things. It was true; as everyone was filing into their buses, she had caught Greta and Ryan talking near one of the buses. A huge smile was on Greta's face that almost reflected of Ryan's.

Greta scoffed at Joy's come back as Joy picked out a pair of black leggings that came down to her ankle. She stripped her pajama bottoms off as laughter erupted from the living room where the three boys were sitting. Joy decided to ignore Greta and look towards the living room, a curious look on her face as she slipped on her leggings.

"You weren't just talking to Brendon, Joy," Greta said, sitting down on one of Darren's bunks, as Joy looked for her old Beatles Revolver shirt that she had cut into a v-neck. "You were flirting."

Joy found the shirt and rolled her eyes as she took off her current top. Quickly, she tossed her revolver shirt on that was a size too big and grabbed her high-waist belt from the suitcase. Putting it on, she turned towards Greta who was looking at her, lips pursed.

Finally, Joy muttered, "I don't know what you're talking about, crazy lady."

With that, she turned back to her stuff and looked through her duffle bag for her black flats, slipped them on once she found them, and grabbed her make up bag, escaping to the bathroom. But Greta followed like a lost puppy.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Greta sang immaturely, as Joy stood in front of the mirror, taking out her foundation. Joy snickered and ignored the girls standing in the doorway, putting on her make up. "You're into him."

"I don't know him," Joy said quickly, as she finished with her foundation. She put the cap on make up tossed it back into her bag, then rummaged through for her powder, quickly finding it and grabbing her big black brush to apply it with.

"But once you get to know him, you're going ot be into him," Greta snapped. Joy shot her friend an annoyed look as she finished with her powder and looked for her bronzer. "Why didn't you tell me you were interested in him?"

"Greta, I'm not interested in him!" Joy said, finding her make up and applying it to her cheeks swiftly before tossing it back into her make up bag. She grabbed her mascara ad eyelash curler just as Greta snickered.

"Then why didn't you tell me that you were mildly interested in him?" Greta asked, not giving up. Joy finished curling her eyelashes before applying the mascara onto them. her long lashes growing thick and longer with each stroke. Once she was done, she tossed the make up into her bag and looked for her black pencil eyeliner.

"Because I knew you were going to do this!" Joy spat, finding the eyeliner at the bottom of her bag and quickly applying it inside her eyes then putting into her make up bag and took one last look in the mirror.

"So you admit to almost liking him," Greta said with a smile on her face. Joy turned to her and rolled her eyes. She moved past her friend and walked back o her suitcase, putting her make up bag back, and grabbing the bag of stuff she had for her hair. She wen back into the bathroom where Greta still stood. "Admit that you admitted it."

"Will it get you to leave me alone?" Joy asked, as she plugged in her straightener, and took her hair cremes out. She looked at Greta, a little smile on her plump, naturally pink lips. But Greta stood there, sneering, un-amused. Joy rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine! If I had to choose one guy on this tour to start liking, it'd be Brendon. You got me."

Joy picked up her straightener just as Greta squealed happily. Joy began sraightening her long, lightly layered dark hair and heavy side bangs. It took her only minutes because her hair was only crimped in places from her ponytail.

"Greta, you're acting like a fan girl," Joys remarked, unplugging her straightener and grabbing from de-frizzing creme. She matted it through her hair, then put her stuff away and walked past Greta who was still smiling.

"Yeah, but it's like, half the fun of tour," Greta replied with as she followed Joy out. Joy laughed a little, putting all her stuff away. With that, she went into the living room, and plopped down next to Bob just as Greta marched in and sat down next to Chris.

"The bus hasn't even started moving," Chris groaned impatiently. The television was off and they were all sitting in the living room in a circle, just waiting for the magical moment of the tour bus to start so the real experience of tour could start.

"Chris, be patient," Joy said to her brother who just rolled his eyes at her and immaturely stuck his tongue out at her.

"So Greta, I saw you talking to Ryan," Darren said, smiling, "Alone."

Greta blushed just as Bob and Chris groaned, making Joy laugh. The boys hard heard so much over this obsession of Greta's. Joy guessed it was slowly killing them. Bob stopped making unnecessary noises and said, "Does he know, you're like, in love with him?"

"No, and we're going to keep it that way," Greta snapped, glaring daggers at Bob then turning the look towards everyone else in the room. Joy and Darren just shrugged but Bob and Chris looked mischievously at each other. "Bob! Chris! What are you two planning?"

"Planning?" Chris asked innocently. Bob just shrugged and shook his head, a wide smile on his face. Greta began going into hysterics, yelling about how annoying they were, when an engine roared to life.

Everyone shut up as four other engines from a distance came alive as well. Greta's hand shot out and grabbed Joy's, giving it a tight squeeze. her eyes stayed on the ground as Joy looked around the room. All the guys were staring at one object, waiting.

And slowly, the bus began moving forward until it went a relatively quick and steady pace.
And everyone cheered loudly as Joy giggled.

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"Nap time, Joy," The nurse whispered. The girls whined as Joy took a sharp intake of breath - only Delilah noticed it though.

As all the girls packed their lunch-boxes with trash and leftover food, Delilah stood up and went over to Joy. She put her small hand to Joy's ear and whispered in it, "I believe you're stronger than you're letting on."

With that, Delilah turned around and ran to her lunch-box, picked it up, and caught up with the other girls.

Joy's eyes lingered on the little girl, a little smile on her face, as she got up and made her way to her bedroom, the nurse close behind.