Goodbye Blues

Donna and Joy took their sweet time walking back to the senior center, their feet shuffling slowly as they admired the nice silence between them. Before today, the awkward pauses between them were uncomfortable and draped in anger that radiated off the two.

As they stepped into Joy's room, Donna stayed at the door-frame, skeptical about whether she should walk in or stay out like she usually did. But Joy quickly answered her question, turning towards the door and asking kindly, "Donna, would you get me some lunch, dear?"

The nurse smiled and nodded, walking out in the direction of the cafeteria on a mission to keep Joy in this bright mood. The old lady, herself, looked towards her taunting mirror. It called out to her with cold arms that seemed inviting but were so condescending. She sighed and sat on her bed, looking towards the door. A flashback ran through her head, tingling her senses and forcing her to bite her lip awkwardly.

___________________

"Are you ready for this, Joy?" Greta asked, her tone of voice showing how un-excited she was. The girls were standing outside of Curtis Ward's house, watching as people filed in and out. Outside, people stood with cigarettes and drinks, conversing amongst themselves. Inside, the drinks and drugs were being passed around and bodies were grinding onto each other as the beat boomed, shaking the floors.

"Oh, Greta," Joy sighed, taking in the scene bitterly as people shoved passed her, hitting her shoulders rather aggressively. "You know I'm not. I never am."

"Well," Greta responded as someone fell onto the grass and began hurling their insides out, "Hurry up and get prepared already. I want to go inside and get it over with."

Joy rolled her eyes and watched the person finish vomiting before they collapsed onto the floor beside the puke. They groaned as their back hit the hard floor and rolled to their side, turning their back on the girls. "Come on, let's go."

Greta smiled and took Joy's hand in hers, dragging the unwilling girl into the house. Some part of Joy wanted inside to better than outside, but she knew it could only get worse.

The dark rooms inside held the most stomach-curtling sights Joy had ever seen - and yet, had gotten used to by the constant partying that the bands did on tour. As Greta took the lead, pulling Joy passed the drunk guys and girls hitting on them, Joy's eyes searched the rooms for another familiar face.

She saw several people she had seen at other parties and boys from other bands that she had met before, but she didn't want to converse with them. When Greta let go of Joy's hand, her eyes wandered to the curly blond with questioning eyes. But when she saw Greta standing in front of Ryan, she immediately knew this was her stop.

"Joy, what a surprise," A familiar British accent said from behind. Although all the guys in Bring Me The Horizon had accents, Oliver's was different. He didn't pronounce his T's and the faster he talked, the thicker the odd accent got, making it extremely hard for any American to understand what he was saying.

"Oliver," Joy said, turning to look at the boy that towered over her. Wearing the usual Drop Dead shirt and hoodie over skinny jeans, his pierced lips smiled at her. Joy noticed an extra cup in his hand.

"Didn't I say you could call me Oli?" He asked as he handed her the cup. She took it but didn't put it to her lips. Instead she looked at him with a sigh and shrugged. She muttered, "Oli sounds better if you have a British accent."

"I agree with that," Curtis said, coming up behind Joy and letting one of his long, slender and sleeved arms hang over her shoulders. Joy looked up at the handsome boy and smiled. She had taken a liking to Curtis a week back after he apologized for Oliver's rude and sleazy manners; not to mention, he was completely adorable and had the best sense of humor, always making everyone laugh.

"Bugger off, Ward," Oliver scoffed, rolling his eyes. His hand tightened on the red cup he was holding and his other hand found comfort in his pocket as he looked away from his band member.

"Not unless Joy wants me to," Curtis said, glancing at the girl with a small smile. He knew she'd shake her head and wrap one of her arms around his waist in a friendly matter - but she didn't make eye contact with Oliver.

"Whatever," He snickered and walked away, striding up to a blond girl that had just walked the room without a drink in her hand. Curtis and Joy watched for a moment, as Oliver said all the right words, sweeping the girl off her feet and offering her a drink. She nodded and they disappeared through the mobs of over-heated bodies.

"You're my savior, Curtis," Joy said, looking towards the boy who was smiling down at her.

"I know. You owe me big time," Curtis replied. He took the cup that Oliver had handed Joy and downed the drink in a matter of seconds, cringing afterwords. "Fucking bastard spiked that drink so damn bad."

Joy pulled a face, looking down at the now empty cup. She knew Curtis would be fine - he wasn't anywhere near a light-weight; if she had taken downed the drink like he had, though, she'd be gone within seconds. "Gross."

"Aye, don't let him get you down. Let's party, love!" Curtis said, getting overly excited to get Joy in the mood. She giggled a little and nodded as he pulled her to the dance-floor in the other room. Their bodies moved together perfectly in sync for three songs before Curtis was pulled away in an emergency - there wasn't enough bedrooms in his house.

Joy made her way to a less crowded room, fixing her hair as she did. She moved past Dan Young and William Beckett as she did but they acknowledged her, messing up her hair a little or touching her shoulder.

When she walked into the room, her eyes naturally scanned over everyone sitting or standing about. Unluckily, she saw Ryan and Brendon standing in the corner of the living room, talking - kind of. It looked more like they were arguing, with big hand movements and the look of aggravation across both of their faces.

As Ryan turned away from Brendon, his eyes met Joy's and for a moment, he froze. But then he hit Brendon in the arm and pointed towards her. Angry words were exchanged between them before Brendon seemed to be defeated. He stuffed his hands in his blue skinny jean pockets and walked right up to Joy with much hesitation.

His brown eyes looked soft, very unusual, and his hair was poking out in certain directions, unstyled. A navy blue shirt with some design spread across it looked nice, loose across his thin frame. But Joy kept her eyes on his as a pause lingered between them uncomfortably.

He broke it quickly though, rubbing the back of his neck like always, and said over the music, "Hey Joy."

"Brendon," Joy said, acknowledging the awkward boy in front of her. From where Ryan was standing, Joy looked to be the bigger person, taking in Brendon's presence without a sneer or a click of her tongue - absolutely no attitude. But from where Joy was standing, it was obvious the only reason she was still in front of Brendon was because he was blocking the rest of the entrance into the room - she was stuck.

Leaning down, almost seductively, diving right back into his usual act, Brendon whispered into Joy's ear, letting his lips brush against her hair, "Can we talk?"

Joy stumbled back a little as Brendon stood up right, hiding the smirk on his face very well for such a vain young man. She looked him dead in the eyes and nodded a little, her hands fiddling around with themselves. And suddenly, the smirk grew, taking the stage - bright on Brendon's face. He grabbed one of her hands and lead her through the crowds of people, up the wood tiled stairs and into the bathroom where two girls were.

They stood in front of the mirror fixing their hair and make up but when Brendon and Joy barged in, they turned to look at them with angered looks. Brendon didn't even look at them. Instead, he let go of Joy's hand, leaving her at the door. He walked right up to the toilet and undid his belt. The girls got the message and fumbled while grabbing their stuff, charging out before Brendon could even drop his pants.

As the door shut behind them, he hooked his belt together and sighed, turning around to face Joy. She stood in front of the door, shooting him a fairly disgusted look. But quickly, he shook it off and walked over to the counter, propping himself up on it. In a low voice, barely audible, he muttered, "Joy, Joy, Joy..."

"Oh my God, you're such a waste of time," Joy spat, anger rising in her small body before she could control it. She had snapped and there was no mending her back up. Brendon's wide eyes looked towards the girl, mouth open to defend himself, but she cut him off. "Just fuck off, Brendon. I don't want to deal with you anymore. I thought ignoring you was a good enough clue, but apparently you're bigger moron than I suspected."

She turned around, her hand hitting the silver knob in a fast motion - but Brendon was faster. He jumped off the counter and let his long arm reach out to hold the door closed above Joy's head. His eyes on her, she looked up at him, her temper not decreasing.

"I'm not a moron," He grumbled, obviously peeved. Joy glared at him as her hand pulled with all her strength at the door knob, but her poor strength was nothing compared to Brendon's body mass. The door didn't even budge. Satisfied, Brendon went on, although Joy didn't give up on tugging. "I just don't believe you're over me."

"Over you?" Joy cried, her hand releasing the door knob instantly. Shock ran through her body as her teeth clamped together. But Brendon's face didn't flinch. He stood there, staring right at her as if he hadn't just said one of the most absurd things Joy had ever heard. "Brendon, I never liked you to get over in the first place."

"Well we both know that's a lie," He said coolly, his free hand sitting itself on his girly hip. One leg propped against the other, he seemed completely okay with everything that was pouring out of his mouth. But with each moment passing by, Joy was growing even angrier. It was clear she wasn't changing his mind about her feelings towards him. "You've been head over heels for me since the first time you saw me in the hallway."

Joy's head began shaking from side to side; it was unbelievable - HE was unbelievable. To accuse her of such a thing? "I'm sorry Brendon, but no, I didn't find it anywhere attractive that you were lip-locking in the hallway with some skank and then feeding her stupid lies. Yeah, definitely not my taste."

Brendon rolled his eyes, though the words were harsh and heated. Joy watched him and groaned, stepping away from him and putting the cover to the toilet down so she could sit on it in peace. He watched her, letting his back hit the door, his arms cross over his chest. They stared at each other, both with sneers on their pretty faces. Joy was thinking about Brendon was going to say, Brendon was thinking about what he should say. Anticipation ran high in the small room.

"Look, I didn't bring you here to argue about your feelings for me," Brendon started, stepping up right, his arms dangling back down to his sides. Joy cut him off, her eyes looking towards the glass door to the shower.

"Guess that didn't work out in your favor," She grumbled, crossing her legs. Brendon paused a moment before snickering and walking over to the counter to lean against it. He started again in hopes he could get a full thought out before another interruption.

"I brought you here so I could talk to you about my feelings towards you," Brendon finished. He paused for any witty comments from the girl sitting on the toilet but she said nothing. Instead, her head turned towards him, an unreadable expression laying upon her face. He sighed and continued,

"From day one, you took my interest drastically. Usually I'm the one sweeping girls off their feet, wrapping them around my finger in an instant without even having to try. But with you, I feel the need to try my very best. What kills me is that half the time, you don't even look fazed by my words or actions. It drives me crazy. When I kissed you the very first time after bringing you Advil, I was - I was shocked. Sure, I've kissed tons of girls. But yours was different. It left me wanting more; it was a new feeling for me. Every kiss we shared after that left the same effect. And even right now, I'm fighting a huge urge to finish this speech off short and press my lips down on yours again."

Brendon paused after the awkward sentence, his eyes glancing from a toothbrush to the girl sitting on the toilet. Her eyebrows raised, her eyes looking tired, but told him to go on. So he did hesitantly, collecting his thoughts.

"When I saw you with Oliver in my bunk that night, I got jealous - a feeling I never feel. Ever. Honestly, never. And it got me thinking that maybe those little sultry kisses weren't just the only thing I wanted from you. Maybe I wanted this to be a little more serious. Which is odd for me, I'm not the one for commitment. But then, as I started slightly considering it, you began ignoring me. And within those two weeks of neglection, I've come to one simple yet very complex and tiring decision: I want you Joy. I really, really want you."

His eyes bored into the small girl as she looked down to the tiled floor, taking a deep breath through her small button nose. She looked everywhere else but the handsome young man in front of her, not noticing that his patience was running low - he needed a reply. But she gave none.

So quickly, Brendon rushed towards the door. He flung it open and turned to Joy, mumbling, "I guess if you have anything to say, just find me," before fleeing off into loud music and crowded hallway, leaving Joy to stare at the door frame.

______________________

"Joy? Are you alright?" Donna said, bringing Joy out of her trance. Joy jumped a little when she saw the nurse standing in front of her. She looked about her room, breathing heavily, and sighed deeply when she noticed she was in the bedroom in the senior center - not in Curtis's upstairs bathroom. "Joy?"

"I'm fine, Hun," Joy said, forcing a smile for a moment. Donna's face dropped completely when she saw the false smile. Her heart dropped also into the pit of her stomach as she handed the old woman her lunch. "Thanks so much."

"A-Anytime," Donna stuttered. She stared for a minute at the old lady before exiting the bedroom for her own sake. Joy bit her lip and put the lunch beside her on the bed.

Change was harder than it seemed.