My Unintended

I found the feeling in my legs and ran into the apartment, following the sounds of Michaela’s cries.

We ran straight into what was supposed to be the living room but found it empty apart from a few cockroaches, Melissa standing in the very centre and Michaela crouched in the corner.

“Michaela!” I yelled and sprinted across the room. I threw myself onto my knees with my back to Melissa and brought Michaela tightly into my arms. I closed my eyes and sighed as she buried her face into my body.

“Oh, how touching.” Melissa said sarcastically. I stood up to face her with Michaela behind me.

I could tell, just by looking into her eyes, that she was high. They had the same glazed look as they did on the night Michaela was born.

“Why did you do it Melissa?” I asked weakly and watched as Frank motioned towards the front door as he stood behind her and he walked out.

“It was the only way I could get you to listen to me Gee.” She answered simply and put a hand behind her back.

My heart was pounding and my mind was trying to work out how to get out of this situation. It made me feel slightly sick.

“Look, I would have listened, if you had just apologised.” I answered.

“Why would I have wanted to apologise?”

“For deserting your own daughter.” I spat and watched as her eyes shone for a second and she fumbled with something in her back pocket.

“I didn’t desert her, Gerard, you stole her from me. How could you be so heartless and do that?” She asked softly.

“Me? You took cannabis the night she was born for fuck’s sake!” I yelled and she whipped her hand round to face me and I felt my knees go weak at what I saw.

She was pointing a gun straight at me. I was just glad I was standing in front of a crying Michaela.

“Wrong answer Gee. I did what I had to do and when I came back, I was missing a daughter.” She explained as if it was obvious to the whole world.

I tried to concentrate on anything except the fact that there was a gun, which was most likely loaded, pointing at my face.

“Look, I’m sorry, I must have got the wrong end of the stick.” I said quietly, trying to get her to lower the weapon.

“Damn right you did. Yet, you still didn’t come back to me did you? Instead you took my daughter, started a band and got with that…fag.” She yelled and I felt Michaela cower in fear against my leg.

“I didn’t know you were still in New Jersey. If I had, I would have come back to you.” I lied. Cold sweat was starting to pour from my forehead and the palms of my hands.

I hoped Frank would hurry up and do whatever he had left to do.

“I’ve been here for the past five years Gee, why would I leave now?”

“I honestly don’t know, Matt told me you had gone back to New York to stay with your parents and I thought you had walked away and left me for good. I had to move on with my life Melissa.” I replied. Every word I spoke was a lie, but I knew it was what she was hoping to hear.

She was doing this so I could convince her she was sane.

“I want you to promise me something Gee?”

“What? I’ll do anything.” I answered and looked away from the gun and into her still glazed eyes.

“Make up for what you did to me.”

“How do I do that then?”

“Accept me back into your life, just like old times.” She told me but didn’t lower the gun.

“I’d love to take it all back and I promise you I will…if you lower the gun for me. You’re scaring Michaela.” I said and pointed to the figure behind me who was gripping onto the backs of my legs with everything she had to give.

“I didn’t mean to scare her.” She whispered and lowered the gun. I sighed in relief and watched her turn her back on me.

I turned away from her and crouched to Michaela to hold her in my arms.

“I’m scared daddy.” She whimpered. I pulled her closer to my chest and closed my eyes.

“I know, baby.” I answered.

“Frankie’s gone for help.” I whispered into her ears and she nodded slightly.

I heard Melissa’s footsteps behind me and released Michaela slightly so I could see what she was doing.

What I saw made my heart stop.