Sequel: Déjà vu ›
My Unintended
Every heart you break [part 1]
(A/N: You lot get 2 updates today because I'm off on holiday in about an hour :). If I get time after this, I might add the next chapter...if not you'll have to wait until next sunday.)
“Mikey!” I yelled as I entered the waiting room.
He and Frank had returned at around 8pm. The both jumped up as I entered, looking at me expectantly. A huge grin erupted on my face.
“A girl. 7 pounds 7 ounces.” I told them, jumping up and down with excitement.
They both hugged me, saying their ‘congratulations’.
“She was born at 9.27 and I was the first person to hold her.” I explained, still in a state of shock. They grinned at me and pushed me back towards the door, demanding that I go back and hold her again.
Melissa’s mother looked up at me, smiling as she held the baby and I grinned back. I looked over at Melissa, expecting to see an identical grin on her face but she was laying with her back to us. I looked questioningly at her and then at her mom, who shook her head sadly. I stood beside her and put my hand on her back.
“Mel?” I asked softly. She didn’t answer. I turned away from her sadly and saw the pile of photos on the table. The midwife had taken them on a Polaroid camera just minutes after the baby was born. I smiled as I looked through them, most of me and Angela holding her.
None had Melissa in them.
“Gerard, I’m worried about her.” Angela said as I sat down beside her. “She hasn’t even looked at the baby yet.” I looked from Melissa’s back to the bundle in Angela’s arms.
“I’m worried about her too, Angela.” I confessed, taking my daughter from her as she stood up.
“Don’t judge her too harshly, she’s young.” Angela said, before leaving the room quietly.
*time elapse*
“Gee?” Melissa’s voice said. I looked up at her; she still had her back to me. “Can you come round this side? I need to talk to you.” I sighed and stood up.
“Put the baby in the crib.” Her voice rang out harshly and I obeyed, slightly confused.
I sat round her other side, looking at her. As I sat down, my heart stopped. Her eyes were glazed over. She was high.
“Melissa, what’s going on?” I asked, taking her hand. She pulled it away but didn’t move position on the bed.
“I can’t handle this, Gee.” She said, looking into my eyes.
I wasn’t sure whether I should take her seriously. She was high on something, but it could have just been pain killers.
“It’s okay; I’m here for you, and her.” I said gently.
She closed her eyes and sighed.
“That’s why I can’t handle this.” She said. “I’m young; I have a life to live. Gerard, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the baby.”
“Is that why you haven’t even looked at her?”
“Gee, I don’t want her to hold me back. If I keep her, then you’ll want to be with me to support me. I can’t handle the both of you demanding my love and attention, I’m young, I’m supposed to party with my friends and get drunk. Not sit in with my baby and her father.” She stated.
Was she doing what I think she’s doing?
“Are you going to put her up for adoption then?” I asked sadly, not really wanting to hear the answer I knew I was going to get.
“No.” She said.
That wasn’t the answer I expected.
“I’ve spoken to the midwife and I want to give you full custody of her.”
“Why me? I’m young too.” I said, leaning back in my chair. My heart was pounding, I was so glad she wasn’t going up for adoption but could I handle her?
“You’re her father, Gerard.”
“So? You’re her mother!”
“Gee, I’m the reason she was born early!” Melissa explained. I knew that already. The baby wasn’t supposed to be due for another 4 weeks.
“I got involved with someone after you left, Gee. He persuaded me to do stuff last night. I got drunk and took some Cannabis. I caused the baby to be early.” She said. “I don’t want this baby.”
I scanned her face, trying desperately to do the one thing Angela warned me not to do. I couldn’t help it; she had to be judged harshly. She knew full well what could have happened to the baby if she got drunk again and did drugs. Yet she did it anyway.
I stood up, feeling sick. She had put my daughter’s life in danger because some junkie wanted her to.
“Gee?”
“Melissa, I’m trying very hard not to judge you. I have to admit, it’s not working. I loved you and thought you had more self control than that.” I said. “I’ll take the baby, if that’s what you want, but you had better help me support her.” I said.
I sighed, told her I was going to get a drink and left the room. My mind was spinning and tears were pouring down my face.
How could she do that?
How could she not look at her own daughter and say she didn’t want her?
I felt the familiar arms of my brother wrap around me and guide me to a chair as my heart broke for my daughter. I had to do something, anything to protect her from her own mother’s madness.
“Mikey!” I yelled as I entered the waiting room.
He and Frank had returned at around 8pm. The both jumped up as I entered, looking at me expectantly. A huge grin erupted on my face.
“A girl. 7 pounds 7 ounces.” I told them, jumping up and down with excitement.
They both hugged me, saying their ‘congratulations’.
“She was born at 9.27 and I was the first person to hold her.” I explained, still in a state of shock. They grinned at me and pushed me back towards the door, demanding that I go back and hold her again.
Melissa’s mother looked up at me, smiling as she held the baby and I grinned back. I looked over at Melissa, expecting to see an identical grin on her face but she was laying with her back to us. I looked questioningly at her and then at her mom, who shook her head sadly. I stood beside her and put my hand on her back.
“Mel?” I asked softly. She didn’t answer. I turned away from her sadly and saw the pile of photos on the table. The midwife had taken them on a Polaroid camera just minutes after the baby was born. I smiled as I looked through them, most of me and Angela holding her.
None had Melissa in them.
“Gerard, I’m worried about her.” Angela said as I sat down beside her. “She hasn’t even looked at the baby yet.” I looked from Melissa’s back to the bundle in Angela’s arms.
“I’m worried about her too, Angela.” I confessed, taking my daughter from her as she stood up.
“Don’t judge her too harshly, she’s young.” Angela said, before leaving the room quietly.
*time elapse*
“Gee?” Melissa’s voice said. I looked up at her; she still had her back to me. “Can you come round this side? I need to talk to you.” I sighed and stood up.
“Put the baby in the crib.” Her voice rang out harshly and I obeyed, slightly confused.
I sat round her other side, looking at her. As I sat down, my heart stopped. Her eyes were glazed over. She was high.
“Melissa, what’s going on?” I asked, taking her hand. She pulled it away but didn’t move position on the bed.
“I can’t handle this, Gee.” She said, looking into my eyes.
I wasn’t sure whether I should take her seriously. She was high on something, but it could have just been pain killers.
“It’s okay; I’m here for you, and her.” I said gently.
She closed her eyes and sighed.
“That’s why I can’t handle this.” She said. “I’m young; I have a life to live. Gerard, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the baby.”
“Is that why you haven’t even looked at her?”
“Gee, I don’t want her to hold me back. If I keep her, then you’ll want to be with me to support me. I can’t handle the both of you demanding my love and attention, I’m young, I’m supposed to party with my friends and get drunk. Not sit in with my baby and her father.” She stated.
Was she doing what I think she’s doing?
“Are you going to put her up for adoption then?” I asked sadly, not really wanting to hear the answer I knew I was going to get.
“No.” She said.
That wasn’t the answer I expected.
“I’ve spoken to the midwife and I want to give you full custody of her.”
“Why me? I’m young too.” I said, leaning back in my chair. My heart was pounding, I was so glad she wasn’t going up for adoption but could I handle her?
“You’re her father, Gerard.”
“So? You’re her mother!”
“Gee, I’m the reason she was born early!” Melissa explained. I knew that already. The baby wasn’t supposed to be due for another 4 weeks.
“I got involved with someone after you left, Gee. He persuaded me to do stuff last night. I got drunk and took some Cannabis. I caused the baby to be early.” She said. “I don’t want this baby.”
I scanned her face, trying desperately to do the one thing Angela warned me not to do. I couldn’t help it; she had to be judged harshly. She knew full well what could have happened to the baby if she got drunk again and did drugs. Yet she did it anyway.
I stood up, feeling sick. She had put my daughter’s life in danger because some junkie wanted her to.
“Gee?”
“Melissa, I’m trying very hard not to judge you. I have to admit, it’s not working. I loved you and thought you had more self control than that.” I said. “I’ll take the baby, if that’s what you want, but you had better help me support her.” I said.
I sighed, told her I was going to get a drink and left the room. My mind was spinning and tears were pouring down my face.
How could she do that?
How could she not look at her own daughter and say she didn’t want her?
I felt the familiar arms of my brother wrap around me and guide me to a chair as my heart broke for my daughter. I had to do something, anything to protect her from her own mother’s madness.