Best Man

Donning a pair of Mike's black, dress slacks with the red stripes one the sides from the American Idiot era and his black, buttoned-up collared vest, Caroline was standing in front of her full length mirror, trying to adjust the platinum, pixie cut wig upon her head.

Void of any makeup on her face; she was decorated elsewhere, on her arms, to complete her drag look.

"Were I a gay man, I'd totally fuck you."

Turning around, Caroline's hazel eyes cased the sight of Mike who was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, leaning against the frame, and dressed in drag as well.

As a woman.

"And were I a lesbian, I'd totally...not fuck you."

Giggling, Caroline sauntered up to Mike and gestured to his outfit: the red slip dress Caroline had worn a month earlier, but, obviously in a bigger size to accommodate his height. Underneath he had on a red bra stuffed with water balloons and, secretly, a thong. Something of which only he and Caroline knew about.

"Hey, I think I look good," he muttered defensively, placing his hands on his narrow hips.

"In San Quentin, maybe. In the real world, no." Caroline smirked and adjusted the long, brunette wig Mike wore atop his head. "You are by far the sexiest man alive, but you are one ugly bitch as a woman." Playfully jabbing his fake boobs, she snorted as she looked down. "And I still can't believe you waxed your legs."

"Hey, when I do something, I give my all." Pointing a finger at her to show he meant business, Mike staggered in the red heels he wore on his feet, as gracefully as a truck driver, to look at his own reflection in the full length mirror. "I like how that tattoo artist duplicated my tattoos on you with that fake shit," he added, touching the corner of his lipstick-clad mouth.

Simply smiling in response, Caroline kept watching Mike until she muttered, "This is gonna be one, interesting Halloween party."



Stepping into the club in Oakland that was rented out for the evening, specifically, Tre found his heart racing.

Since finally crossing the line in his relationship with Giselle, he'd been quite nervous to be in the same room as her and Caroline. It was awkward to know he was now officially shacking up with his ex-girlfriend's sister. Not to mention how he'd been quietly obsessing about the older Woods sister again lately. Since his flashback to New Years '06 right before discovering Giselle's every nook and cranny.

He knew he shouldn't feel ashamed for being with Giselle, considering how Caroline had cheated on him. In a way, this was his way of getting back at her in his mind. Maybe in retrospect it was a lame way of going about his so-called, latent 'revenge' but perhaps that was just his state of mind at the moment.

Not only are Giselle and Caroline sisters, but they're also best friends; just like Tre and Mike are best friends. Or, at least, returning to best status with each other. So, to the drummer, he saw it like this: Caroline fucked his friend, so he was gonna fuck hers. But, of course, it wasn't just about the sex. It was having an actual relationship.

While these emotions and thoughts frolicked like Liberace's fingers on a baby grand in his head, he sat at the bar with his new lady at his side; both dressed for the holiday at hand.

It wasn't just any Halloween party. It was a themed Halloween party.

The guys dressed like women, and vice versa.

With a wig of long, black hair that draped passed his ass and a clingy, sequined dress that was incredibly retro, Tre was doing his best to mirror Cher as Giselle was none other than Sonny Bono. Complete with the bowl-cut shag hair cut and mustache under her nose.

And let us not forget the polyester leisure suit in a stunning shade of mustard.

Sliding across the dance floor in a white halter dress and platinum blonde wig, Billie Joe cackled almost maniacally as Marilyn Monroe as Adrienne strutted behind him with the gait of a cocky male, dressed as James Dean, and trying to lift her husband's skirt to pinch his ass.

As the guitarist clamored as quickly away from his wife as possible, he lifted his right leg onto the seat of a chair beside the dance floor to pull himself up onto it so that he could stand on the top of the table.

It was only nine in the evening and Billie Joe was already slightly blasted.

"I wanna be loved by you, just you, and nobody else but you..." he was singing in a very smoky, seductive sort of way that Ms. Monroe had been known for several decades prior.

Although, Billie Joe's rendition came out a mite more slurred and aggressive.

And he thrust his hips - incessantly - with each word sung.

Walking into the club rather silently, Mike and Caroline appeared at the entrance, taking in the holiday decorations and all the guests dressed as the opposite sex.

The two of them began pointing out who was dressed as who or what, while immediately spotting Billie Joe because, honestly, how could they not?

Laughing, the couple moved further into the club, with Mike almost limped as he was still trying to master walking in heels.

"You know you could've worn flats," Caroline chastised.

"You don't wear flats and if I did, I wouldn't be you, now would I?" he pointed out.

"Still, you don't have to kill your feet. You're already tall enough."

"Maybe I like how the heels make my calves look sexy." His blue eyes were no longer blue, as he was wearing nonprescription, hazel contacts, just like Caroline was wearing blue ones.

Except for her, she really did wear prescription contacts to begin with. Something not many people outside their circle of friends and family knew.

After all, they wanted to give their 'costumes' one hundred percent authenticity.

"Adrienne!" Caroline called out, grinning.

Both women locked eyes and laughed at each other.

"Omigawd, you're Mike!" the older brunette threw her head back and snorted as she pulled Caroline in for a quick hug and then held her out at arms length to look her over. "And look, you even have the tattoos. Why didn't Billie and I think of that?" Flitting her brown eyes upon Mike, Adrienne just about gawked. "Oh, shit."

"What?" he muttered.

"You're..." she trailed.

"Holy fuck, Mike, you're an ugly woman!" came Billie Joe's exclamation as he climbed down from the table he was on, very unladylike.

"So I've been told," the bassist replied, sending his fiancee a small look, but she just smirked back.

"I only said that because you're so much man that there's no way for you to ever pull off 'woman,'" she explained, holding her hands up as if demonstrating a newspaper headline.

And Mike grinned. "Well, I can't deny that. I am a whole lotta man."

"Even dressed as a woman," Adrienne teased.

"A fucking ugly one," Billie Joe added.

"Shut up, Marilyn. You die naked and alone from an overdose," Mike shot back with a smile.

"I was murdered!" Billie Joe exclaimed, pointing his finger defiantly at his best friend as his own smile sparkled in his green eyes. "Jack and Bobby were both fucking me and they didn't want it to get out so they had me killed! It was a big conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy!"

Shaking her head, Caroline let out a laugh as her temporarily blue eyes scanned the crowd of guests for her sister, and then finally spotting what she thought might be Giselle.

"Excuse me," she muttered to the other three, touching her hand gently to Mike's arm.

Stepping across the edge of the dance floor, Caroline began to adopt of very manly gait as she tapped Giselle -- er, Sonny -- on the shoulder.

"Hey, buddy. Wanna go fuck each other in the ass? I know a quiet, little bathroom stall that'd be perfect," she spoke in a very deep voice.

Turning her head, Giselle took in the sight of her older sister and beamed; the corners of her mouth lifting from ear to ear as she laughed.

"Oh, wow, great costume, Care," Giselle commented.

At that, Tre took his attention away from his thoughts and the drink in his hands as he looked upon Caroline, dressed as Mike. And the two of them shared a look.

It was an awkward look, only because neither had spoken to each other since the day she came to talk to him and he more or less told her to get out.

"Sonny and Cher, huh?" Caroline muttered. "Reminds me of Fun With Dick And Jane, that Jim Carey and Tea Leoni movie where one of their heists they dressed like the two of you."

"If you're Mike, does that mean he's---" Giselle began, only to be cut off my Caroline's nodding. "Oh, god. Mike's dressed like you? This is the best Halloween ever."

"So..." Caroline began, ready to change the subject. "How're you doin', sis? I've barely seen you these last couple of weeks."

"Oh, I've been...busy. What with work at the hospital and...well...Tre," Giselle responded, gesturing to her man-woman boyfriend.

"Ah," was Caroline's simple remark.

"Oh, have you made any more plans for the wedding?"

"Not exactly. Mike and I have been busy, too. He's been giving me bass lessons, actually. Dave, Nef and I are gonna continue on, without Nick, as a trio. And, um...well, some other personal things I'm researching on my down time. Mike and I are doing that together and it's kinda taking focus away from the wedding at the moment, but it's important. For the two of us to do this before we go about the wedding details."

"What're you researching? Maybe I can help."

"Nah, it's not your area of expertise."

"Oh, c'mon, Care. She's a doctor, she's gotta have some connections with people in the medical field back in Buffalo or something," Tre insisted, giving Caroline a knowing and almost smug smile.

Sending tiny daggers at the five foot six drummer, the older Woods sister pursed her lips to keep from freely speaking her mind.

"It's nothing," she assured her sister.

"But, Care, Giselle might want in on this 'thing' you're doing because she's kinda in the same position as you and Mike."

"What? What position am I in?" Giselle wondered, getting more and more curious with each passing minute, if not second. Her blue eyes loitered between her sister and her boyfriend, waiting for one or the either to say what it was they were talking about.

Keeping his own lips tightly closed, Tre ran his tongue across the enamel of his upper front teeth and narrowed his eyes slightly at Caroline as he tilted his head to look at her.

"Caroline's trying to find her birth parents. I think she might be using a private investigator," he blabbed without remorse for Caroline's privacy on the subject.

And her face said as much as she glared at him. "How dare you," she gritted out.

Giselle became a little confused as she looked between Tre and Caroline, again, but settling on her sister. "You're hiring a private investigator to find your real mom and dad? How come you didn't tell me? I'd love to help you out."

"Because...well, you said it yourself, Zelle. You're too busy with the hospital and...him," Caroline replied, emphasizing the last word as if it were a horrible disease. And, before Giselle or even Tre could reply, she flashed them both a forced smile. "Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. I'm gonna go find my fiance and mingle."

Turning on the heel of her manly shoes, Caroline stalked off in the opposite direction, through the crowd of guests, as she fumed quietly and buried her feelings of mild contempt for Tre deep under her skin.

When she spotted Mike, still talking with Billie Joe and Adrienne, but now also with Jason White and his wife -- who were dressed as Elvis and Priscilla Presley, Caroline's heart swelled a little more and a weight felt like it lifted.

Mike always seemed to make her feel better, no matter what was going on in her life. Even when she was mad at him, she still felt better with him near her.

Giving him a genuinely happy smile, she linked her fake-tattooed arm through his and looked up at him.

"What's with the loving smile, babe?" he questioned, though not really needing an answer.

"Because I'm in love with a very ugly woman and couldn't be happier."

Smiling back at her, Mike leaned down to her level a bit so that they could kiss.

"I love you too, my pretty little man, you."

As Caroline beamed for him, Tre and Giselle sat in awkward silence together, at the bar, looking on at the engaged couple across the club, sharing a happy moment.