Best Man

"They're gone!" came Christopher, Mike's stepbrother, as he adjusted his pale yellow necktie and joined the other guys in the social hall.

"What the fuck do you mean they're gone?" Billie Joe questioned, slightly confused.

"Just what I said. I went back to the Sunday school room to check and see if they were done talking so we can get this show on the road and...they weren't in there. Then I checked the other room, and that was empty, too. I don't know where they are."

"Um, alright, well maybe they went upstairs," Tre suggested.

"They would've come this way," Jason muttered.

"No, there's another set of stares in the hallway out there."

"Alright, well, someone go upstairs and see if that's where they went and I'll go outside to see if maybe they're there," Billie Joe spoke.

Without another word said and a simple round of nods, the guys parted ways into three groups; Chris and Shawn heading upstairs to the narthex, Tre, Nef and Jason staying put, and Billie Joe and Dave going up the second stairwell to head outside.

Taking the short flight of stairs to the ground level, both guitarists pushed open the double doors to the education building's entrance where there was a long, concrete walkway that ended at the door but began at the sidewalk along the street.

Dave narrowed his eyes and shrugged. "They aren't here. I think we woulda spotted them right away," he commented. "A bridal gown is usually a dead giveaway."

"They're gone."

"Well, they got to be around here somewhere. Did we bother to check the bathrooms?"

"They're gone," Billie Joe repeated more firmly, turning his head up to the younger man.

Both their eyes connected for a moment and then it seemed as if they latched onto the same brain frequency. Almost like reading the shorter man's mind, Dave gave barely a nod of his head as he turned to glance at the sidewalk.

When the men arrived to the church, they arrived in a black limousine. When the women arrived to the church, they arrived in a white limousine.

The white limo was gone.

"They're gone," Dave echoed; a slight incredulous laugh escaping his lips as he placed on hand on his narrow left hip and let his right hand run thoughtfully through his hair. "They fuckin' left."

Throwing his head back in a chuckle, Dave moved around and opened the door for Billie Joe.

"Definitely wasn't expecting this," the older rocker muttered in disbelief.



"What do you mean they're gone?" Joanne practically squealed.

"We left them alone in the Sunday school room for a couple minutes and when Chris went to check on them to see if they were ready, they were gone," Billie Joe was explaining; standing amongst the entire wedding party and the parents of the bride and groom. "That's when he came back into the social hall where we were and told us. We split up and discreetly did a quick look around the place when Dave and I noticed the head limo was gone."

"The white one?" Paul questioned.

Billie Joe nodded. "That's the one."

"What do we do about all those guests? All the work that was put into organizing this affair?" Joanne demanded, near hysterics as she gestured to the closed narthex doors while every guest in the pews were growing restless. "Where has my daughter gone?"

"Where's my son gone?" Cheryl Nasser reiterated about Mike.

"Our son," Lucy amended. "I gave birth to him."

"You also abandoned him," Cheryl retorted.

"So did you, from what I hear." Lucy was a ballsy one. "You moved away when he was fifteen and didn't take him with you and he was left to find work at a diner and find a place to sleep at Billie's mom's house. He was only a kid, still. What kinda motherin' is that? At least my head was in the right place when I gave him up for adoption, but clearly I made a mistake in believin' my boy would be in good hands!"

Everyone turned to stare at Lucy, who shrugged.

"Whoa, mama," Tre muttered.

"What? Like none of you were thinking it?"

"I'll have you know---" Cheryl began but was interrupted by Adrienne.

"Okay, ladies. Not now. At this moment, the bride and groom are AWOL, and given the stress of what this wedding has been probably putting them through, I think we can all safely assume what they've done and where they've gone."



Tucked away in the very back of a white, stretch limo, Caroline lifted the hem of her wedding dress as she kicked off her white heels and tucked her feet up under her while snuggling warmly against Mike's side.

The 37-year-old bassist had one arm around his beautiful woman and both eyes on her as well. And at the same time speaking on his cell phone with someone.

"Thanks, I appreciate all you can do to get us there. You've done last minute shit like this for the guys and me before and this time tops all the others." He was quiet as he listened to what the other person was saying while smiling down at Caroline. "Yeah, that's no problem at all. No, it's just as good. Smaller the better. Alright, then. We'll be there in a few. Bye."

Hanging up his cell phone and pocketing it inside his tuxedo jacket, Mike pressed his lips to Caroline's forehead.

"I bet my mom's having a mental breakdown," she quipped.

"I bet you're right."

The two of them chuckled a bit, then fell silent as Caroline turned her head upward to look Mike in the eye.

"Do you think we shoulda at least left them a note to tell them what we're doing?"

Mike shrugged. "Meh, they'll find out soon enough."

"I still think we should let them know something..."



"Uh, hi everyone," Billie Joe began nervously; standing at the front of the church, before all the wedding guests. Damnit, this was not the reason I accepted the position of Best Man. To stand beside my best friend as he married the love of his life and give a drunken speech later. Not this. "Um...there's been a slight change of plans. It seems that Mike and Caroline are missing. We have a few ideas of where they went but don't wanna make any final decision on what that is until they get a hold of us. So, as of now, there won't be a wedding today."

A sea of murmurs and surprised gasps surfed through the crowd of people like sports fans doing 'The Wave' at a sports game.

Billie Joe looked around from side to side and offered apologetic looks to everyone for showing up and making the trip to the church, while ready to run up the aisle to get away from their stares as if it was his fault Mike and Care's weren't there.

But right before he could make a break for it, Tre came running down the aisle with a cell phone in his hand and waving it around; then joining Billie Joe at the altar as everyone was beginning to stand up to leave.

"Wait! Everyone, don't go anywhere!" he called out. "I just got off the phone with Mike. Him and Caroline apologize for leaving without a word but they want everyone to go ahead to the reception and enjoy the dinner and music. Everything's already been paid for and they don't want it to go to waste."

"Why aren't they here?" someone from Caroline's side asked out loud.

"Well, it's kinda simple," Tre replied. "They're eloping."



Three hours later, the entire wedding party and all the guests, save a disgruntled few, were sitting around the tables at the reception; chatting and gossiping about one thing or another. Several couples were slow dancing on the dance floor while waiters walked around refilling glasses of wine and champagne.

Tre and Billie Joe stood side by side by the bar, a glass of gin and tonic in each of their hands as they watched everyone enjoying the wedding reception, minus the bride and groom.

"Where do you think they went?" Tre asked. "Vegas?"

"Probably. But they already have the license. As long as they got someone ordained to perform the ceremony and a witness or two, they can get married anywhere."

"So, then you don't think they went to Vegas?"

"I didn't say that. I just said they coulda gone anywhere," Billie Joe spoke, bringing his glass to his lips.

"I think they went to Vegas," Tre affirmed his own suspicion.

Billie Joe simply turned his eyes to the drummer and quirked and eyebrow. "What did you and Caroline talk about? Adrienne told me you went to the mother's room where she was waiting, and then you both came out and had this air between you two like you'd been best friends since day one."

Tre looked down into his glass and sloshed the contents around; shrugging. "I apologized. And asked her how I could get Giselle to forgive me for the fight we'd had last month because I love her and need her."

"You love and need who? Care or Giselle?"

"Giselle, dumbass. I just said I apologized to Caroline and asked her how Giselle could forgive me."

"Well, you bounce between the two so much it's hard to tell." After a moment, Billie Joe smirked and watched Tre's profile until the blue-eyed man felt the gaze and met it halfway. "So, you're finally sure of who you love now?"

"Yes," Tre smiled back. "I love my Zell."

Just as Billie Joe was gonna make a comment, his cell phone began to buzz in his pants pocket; startling him somewhat. As he fumbled for the small device, he pulled it out and flipped it open after checking the number coming across the screen.

"Hey, Mike!" the guitarist grinned. "Where are you?"



Standing side by side with Caroline, in front of a female, ordained minister who looked a lot like Condaleeza Rice, Mike held his cell phone to his ear as he smiled.

"Reno, Nevada," the bassist replied; hearing his friend on the other end mumbling something about 'not Vegas' to someone in the background. "About to get married."

Caroline was still holding her bouquet of white and yellow roses from the church and grinning up at her husband-to-be like a giddy child in a candy store.

"Listen, Billie, do me a favor and find a microphone, then put your cell up to it. I'm gonna put mine on speaker and hand it to the minister, 'kay?"

He listened to Billie Joe's response and handed his phone to the minister like he'd said.



Grabbing a microphone from the entertainment, Billie Joe smiled and got everyone's attention.

"It's time for the wedding," he announced and held the phone to the mic; confusing and surprising almost everyone.



"Do you Michael Pritchard take Caroline Woods to be your lawful wedded wife?" asked the minister.

"I do," came his reply, without missing a beat; giving her smaller hands a squeeze as they rested in his.

"Will you love, respect and honor her throughout your years together?"

"You bet I will."

While the minister was just turning her attention to Caroline, Mike's had been there the entire time.

"Do you Caroline Woods take Michael Pritchard to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Will you love, respect and honor him throughout your years together?"

"I will. Every day. Forever and ever," Caroline ad-libbed, holding Mike's gaze with such purity in her hazel eyes.

"Would you like to share your own vows?" the lady minister inquired.

"Well, we weren't going to, but I've had my own planned secretly," Mike informed, licking his bottom lip and moving a smidgen closer to his bride. "It was gonna be a surprise."

"Aww," she cooed.

"Care..." he began. "With all my fragile heart I take you to be my wife. I will love you through the good and the bad, through the joy and the sorrow. I will try to be understanding, and to trust in you completely. I will make you a part of me and in turn, become a part of you. Together we will face all of life's experiences and share one another's dreams and goals. We will be equal partners in an open, honest relationship throughout the years. And the children we have together, along with the daughter I have, will live happily ever after..."

Caroline laughed. "You're so cheesy," she quipped as she bit her lip to think of her own vow. "Let's see..." After a few short moments, she grinned. "Michael Ryan Pritchard, my love. You are the best. And you're also my best friend. I...I promise to respect you and support you in all you do, to be patient with you, to work together with you to achieve those things that are important to us, to accept you unconditionally, and to share life with you throughout the years. And when we're eighty and you're poopin' in your old man diapers, I promise to change you and take good care of you, as long as you promise not to steal my false teeth and mock my old lady hair."

"Of course I promise," Mike muttered with a laugh.

"Do you have the rings?" the minister inquired.

"Shit," came Mike's response. "We forgot to get them from Billie when we left."

Caroline frowned and shrugged. "It's okay. Rings are only symbols. We'll get them later." Turning to the minister, she waved her tiny hand. "Skip the ring part."

The minister just gave a nod and a smile. "Alright then. By the authority vested in me by the State of Nevada, witnessed by your friends and family via cell phone, I have the pleasure to pronounce you husband and wife." The lady minister gestured to Mike and Caroline. "You may now seal your vows with a kiss."

"Gladly," Mike commented, grabbing both sides of Caroline's face with his hand and slowly wrapping his lean, but strong, arms around her body and pulling her close to him in a wedded kiss to top all wedded kisses.

When they parted, the minister, who still held Mike's cell phone, turned the phone toward her and announced, "And now Ladies and Gentlemen back in California, I now have the pleasure of presenting to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Michael and Caroline Pritchard."