Katelyn's List of Things to Never Do at Hogwarts
The List
Katelyn grabbed her quill off of her nightstand, and jumped onto her bed, making the ink she had set down moments before spill onto her quilt.
"Dammit", the gryffindor exclaimed loudly. She didn't care, though. She was there, alone. She had a 'fever', which was the consequence for promising to be the Weasley twins guinea pig, while they tried out some products for the joke shop they hoped to open one day. A fever promised her the chance to miss school, and not have to stay with good ol' Poppy all day. Yes, she owed the twins.
She cleaned up the large stain, but failed to remove it. Maybe because she didn't clean the ink off properly. Then again, no one would say she was proper. Having belching contests with Fred and George in the Dining Hall was certainly not proper. Neither was making obscene hand gestures at Draco Malfoy.
She scowled at the stain, and shrugged, while making a mental note to grab her wand and clean it later. She would have at that moment, but it would have meant walking into the common room and back to retrieve her wand, and frankly, she didn't feel like it.
She grabbed a new bottle of ink, and slowly sank down onto her bed.
"Now, where was I?", she asked herself. "Ah, yes."
She pulled out her journal from under the bed, where she kept it, among other things. Those other things happened to be a sock, an old toothbrush, chocolate frogs, and polka-dotted knickers. Okay, maybe kept wasn't the right word. More like lost, tossed, or thrown. Yes, those would work.
She opened her journal up, and started what she was going to do a week before.
Katelyn Cadburry's List of Things to Never Do at Hogwarts
1. Never give Fred or George a popsicle, unless you want to be shown how to properly satisfy someone of the male species.
Katelyn's Note: Do NOT ask me how they would know how to satisfy a male. Frankly, I don't want to know. *Wink Wink*. Oh, and it is also wise to never give them a lollipop or a banana. For the same reason obviously. Also, please do not eat one of those three objects in front of the twins. One time, a poor 3rd year Hufflepuff girl was eating a lollipop between classes, and Fred yelled to her, "That pop has had better!". Unless you want to have to deal with the same embarrassment she had to deal with, I suggest you heed my warning.
2. Never tell Snape to shove his wand where the sun doesn't shine just because you are frustrated with a certain potion.
Katelyn's Note: You will have detention every Friday and Saturday night for a month. During which, you will have to wipe off the dust from his treasured jars of random icky things. Without magic.
3. Never ask Oliver Wood if you can see his broomstick.
Katelyn's Note: Boys have dirty minds. He took this the wrong way, when I just simply wanted to see his new broom. He must have never forgotten about the time I yelled "Hey Oliver! Let me see your 'wood'!" But whatever. I swear though, this question was 95% innocent.
4. Never steal a pair of Harry Potter's boxers, and hang them on the common room wall, beside a sign that says "These belong to the-boy-who-doesn't-wash-his-undies".
Katelyn's Note: It was a dare, I swear! Given to me by Fred, who told me Harry could take a joke! Yes, he got the joke, but he also got revenge. It took two weeks to convince that ugly Slytherin, Goyle, that I didn't want to do the dirty with him under the Whomping Willow. Ew.
5. Never try to fix Hermione's hair.
Katelyn's Note: Okay, this is mostly a reminder for me. You see, Hermione has frizz. Like got-struck-by-lightening frizz. So I told her I could help. And I did. The frizz stayed away for a week! Unfortunately, the lingering green color stayed for two. Hermione is still sometimes referred to as Lettuce Head. Don't worry, we are still friends, she just won't let me touch her hair now.
6. Never tell Draco Malfoy that him and that dumb baboon Crabbe need to be quieter while hooking up in the Library. Everyone can hear them moaning.
Katelyn's Note: No, no, I take that back. You SHOULD do this. Then give Crabbe a note "from Draco" telling him how much you want to touch his body. Believe me, seeing how uncomfortable Crabbe is around Malfoy now still gives me the giggles.
7. Never try to start 'the wave' at Quidditch matches.
Katelyn's Note: My dad is fascinated by muggle sports, and while watching one with him, I saw that someone in the crowd started what they call 'the wave'. So, I decided to try this. No one thought it seemed as fun as I did. The guy behind me yelled at me because he couldn't see. And even worse, Fred and George saw my pathetic attempt. Now they try to start 'the wave' with me. In Potions. Which is why we always get detention. I blame George the most for these detentions. He always asks Snape if he would like to join.
8. Never go around singing "Ron's too sexy for his robe, too sexy for his robe..."
Katelyn's Note: Okay, I admit, doing that was extremely fun. Got the idea from a muggle song. You should try it on one of your friends. Especially if he blushes as much as Ron does. Poor boy's entire face (ears included) matched his hair for weeks.
Katelyn heard footsteps. She closed her journal and threw it back under her bed. She put the quill and ink back into the nightstand drawer clumsily, and still smiling, went to find Hermione. She knew Hermione would have written down the list of assignments she needed to complete. And Hermione could get that ink stain out. WITHOUT setting anything on fire.
"Dammit", the gryffindor exclaimed loudly. She didn't care, though. She was there, alone. She had a 'fever', which was the consequence for promising to be the Weasley twins guinea pig, while they tried out some products for the joke shop they hoped to open one day. A fever promised her the chance to miss school, and not have to stay with good ol' Poppy all day. Yes, she owed the twins.
She cleaned up the large stain, but failed to remove it. Maybe because she didn't clean the ink off properly. Then again, no one would say she was proper. Having belching contests with Fred and George in the Dining Hall was certainly not proper. Neither was making obscene hand gestures at Draco Malfoy.
She scowled at the stain, and shrugged, while making a mental note to grab her wand and clean it later. She would have at that moment, but it would have meant walking into the common room and back to retrieve her wand, and frankly, she didn't feel like it.
She grabbed a new bottle of ink, and slowly sank down onto her bed.
"Now, where was I?", she asked herself. "Ah, yes."
She pulled out her journal from under the bed, where she kept it, among other things. Those other things happened to be a sock, an old toothbrush, chocolate frogs, and polka-dotted knickers. Okay, maybe kept wasn't the right word. More like lost, tossed, or thrown. Yes, those would work.
She opened her journal up, and started what she was going to do a week before.
Katelyn Cadburry's List of Things to Never Do at Hogwarts
1. Never give Fred or George a popsicle, unless you want to be shown how to properly satisfy someone of the male species.
Katelyn's Note: Do NOT ask me how they would know how to satisfy a male. Frankly, I don't want to know. *Wink Wink*. Oh, and it is also wise to never give them a lollipop or a banana. For the same reason obviously. Also, please do not eat one of those three objects in front of the twins. One time, a poor 3rd year Hufflepuff girl was eating a lollipop between classes, and Fred yelled to her, "That pop has had better!". Unless you want to have to deal with the same embarrassment she had to deal with, I suggest you heed my warning.
2. Never tell Snape to shove his wand where the sun doesn't shine just because you are frustrated with a certain potion.
Katelyn's Note: You will have detention every Friday and Saturday night for a month. During which, you will have to wipe off the dust from his treasured jars of random icky things. Without magic.
3. Never ask Oliver Wood if you can see his broomstick.
Katelyn's Note: Boys have dirty minds. He took this the wrong way, when I just simply wanted to see his new broom. He must have never forgotten about the time I yelled "Hey Oliver! Let me see your 'wood'!" But whatever. I swear though, this question was 95% innocent.
4. Never steal a pair of Harry Potter's boxers, and hang them on the common room wall, beside a sign that says "These belong to the-boy-who-doesn't-wash-his-undies".
Katelyn's Note: It was a dare, I swear! Given to me by Fred, who told me Harry could take a joke! Yes, he got the joke, but he also got revenge. It took two weeks to convince that ugly Slytherin, Goyle, that I didn't want to do the dirty with him under the Whomping Willow. Ew.
5. Never try to fix Hermione's hair.
Katelyn's Note: Okay, this is mostly a reminder for me. You see, Hermione has frizz. Like got-struck-by-lightening frizz. So I told her I could help. And I did. The frizz stayed away for a week! Unfortunately, the lingering green color stayed for two. Hermione is still sometimes referred to as Lettuce Head. Don't worry, we are still friends, she just won't let me touch her hair now.
6. Never tell Draco Malfoy that him and that dumb baboon Crabbe need to be quieter while hooking up in the Library. Everyone can hear them moaning.
Katelyn's Note: No, no, I take that back. You SHOULD do this. Then give Crabbe a note "from Draco" telling him how much you want to touch his body. Believe me, seeing how uncomfortable Crabbe is around Malfoy now still gives me the giggles.
7. Never try to start 'the wave' at Quidditch matches.
Katelyn's Note: My dad is fascinated by muggle sports, and while watching one with him, I saw that someone in the crowd started what they call 'the wave'. So, I decided to try this. No one thought it seemed as fun as I did. The guy behind me yelled at me because he couldn't see. And even worse, Fred and George saw my pathetic attempt. Now they try to start 'the wave' with me. In Potions. Which is why we always get detention. I blame George the most for these detentions. He always asks Snape if he would like to join.
8. Never go around singing "Ron's too sexy for his robe, too sexy for his robe..."
Katelyn's Note: Okay, I admit, doing that was extremely fun. Got the idea from a muggle song. You should try it on one of your friends. Especially if he blushes as much as Ron does. Poor boy's entire face (ears included) matched his hair for weeks.
Katelyn heard footsteps. She closed her journal and threw it back under her bed. She put the quill and ink back into the nightstand drawer clumsily, and still smiling, went to find Hermione. She knew Hermione would have written down the list of assignments she needed to complete. And Hermione could get that ink stain out. WITHOUT setting anything on fire.
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