Can't Stay Away

Later, when Brendon had returned to his house, I had been able to think more clearly. And the thought that stuck out most clearly was that Brendon was a sadistic and masochistic freak. This relationship couldn't continue. At least not like this. I didn't want to end things with Brendon...but if I had to...I would.

I had to wait until it was night to see Brendon again. He snuck into my room around midnight; the usual time. And I was waiting for him, the bandage covering my side a reminder of what I needed to do. I was standing in front of the window when Brendon climbed in. He smiled when he saw me, kissing me swiftly while putting pressure on my side where he had cut me I flinched and he pulled my body closer to him. While I was finding that this felt really good...but it had to end. I pushed Brendon away and took a step back.

"We need to talk Brendon," I said. He looked at me in confusion.

"About what?" he asked. I sighed.

"About you hurting me physically," I said. "I don't like it."

Brendon smirked. I sighed again.

"Ok, I'll admit I like it in the moment," I said. "But I don't like it afterwords. It hurts. I hurt. I don't like pain."

Brendon frowned.

"That's why I wanted to talk to you about it," I said. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. "I think, that we shouldn't be together. I don't want to be in a relationship that is physically harmful to me."

I couldn't help but notice the flicker of anger that appeared on Brendon's face for a moment.

"What?" Brendon asked.

"I'm ending this," I said. "I don't want to be with you if you're going to just harm me."

"But you liked it!" he exclaimed in a loud whisper. It's hard to fight quietly.

"I did like it," I said. "I told you that. But it's painful afterwords."

"So?" Brendon asked.

"I don't like pain," I said, starting to get annoyed. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"I'm trying to help you with that," Brendon said.

"I don't care," I said.

"If you're ending things, then I'm probably going to leave home," Brendon said. "If we're not together, there's no reason for me to stay and put up with my father."

I looked away. I didn't want Brendon to leave. But I knew that he couldn't stay at home with the way his father treated him.

"Well," Brendon asked, impatient.

"Can I think about it?" I asked.

"What's there to think about?" Brendon asked. "I doubt you can suck it up and deal with a little bit of pain."

"I said I'd think about it," I said.

"Yeah," Brendon said. "Think about this."

Without warning, Brendon punched me in the side with the cut. Hard. I gasped and doubled over, clutching my side as it throbbed. Brendon pushed me to the floor and kicked me in the side as well. He kicked me a few more times before leaving. Normally he would kiss me afterwords, turning my pain into pleasure instantly. But now all I felt was pain. Mind-numbing pain. I couldn't take it much longer, and I finally blacked out.