Can't Stay Away

Things didn't get better. The next day we received a phone call from the hospital to let us know that Brendon's mother had died. Brendon locked himself in my room. Normally I would be a bit mad about this, but under these circumstances...

My mother made the funeral arrangements.

While my mother was on the phone with the funeral home, I went upstairs to try and talk to Brendon. I tried to open my bedroom door, but it was locked. I knocked lightly.

"Brendon," I said. "Please let me in."

A moment later, I heard the click of the lock and and the door opened. Brendon looked at me with puffy, red, blood-shot eyes. I stepped into my room and wrapped my arms around Brendon who immediately hugged me back.

"I hate my father so much," Brendon mumbled. "I really do."

"I know," I said, rubbing his back.

"I don't even know how to feel about my mother," he said. "I told you how she was never around. I think you're the only person I love."

Brendon's arms tightened around me, pulling me closer to him.

"I don't know what I'd without you," Brendon said, his hot breath hitting my neck and causing me to shiver. We pulled apart slightly and I moved some of Brendon's hair out of his eyes.

"Don't think about it," I said, smiling at him. "I'll always be here for you."

Brendon smiled. It was slightly forced and noticeably strained, but it was a smile nonetheless.

"Ryan? Brendon?"

We both looked to my bedroom door to see my mom looking in at us. We pulled apart, but I held onto Brendon's hand.

"Yeah?" I said. She looked at Brendon.

"The funeral will be the day after tomorrow," she said. "Is that ok?"

Brendon nodded his head, and I saw his gaze become distant.

"Ok," my mom said quietly before leaving. I hugged Brendon again.

"I hate feeling like this," Brendon said. "I think I'm starting to understand why you fear emotional pain."

"Don't," I said, looking up into Brendon's eyes. "Don't become afraid of it. I hate that I live in fear of pain everyday. It's not a fear you want."

Brendon nodded his head. I moved my face closer to his and kissed him softly.

"Do you promise to be here for me when I need you?" Brendon asked.

"Of course," I said. "I love you."

Brendon gave me a small smile before kissing me again.

"Thank you."