Brothers

The house was like a tomb.
I was hiding in my room,
As my brother made his way on down the hall.

The Jonas household was quite. For a family of six, one would think the house would be filled with the sounds of laughter.

Three brothers watched as the eldest of them threw a bag over his shoulder and walked his way down the hallway.

I didn't want to say goodbye.
And I was trying to deny there was a war,
And that he got the call.

Joe had ignored the fact that Kevin was leaving for as long as he could. As he watched his brother walk down the hall and out the door, he found he couldn’t deny it anymore. Breaking away from his two younger brothers’ embrace, he ran to his room.

I watched him from my window
Walking down the drive.
Then I ran down the stairway
Through the front door and I cried

Reaching up to wipe away the hot tears that rolled down his face, Joe placed his hand on the window in front of him as he watched his lover walk down their long driveway.

Gasping, Joe pushed himself away from the window and darted out into the hall, down the stairs and out the front door, the whole way tears streaming down his flushed cheeks.

You come back you hear?
And I let him see my tears
I said I'll give you my rookie of DiMaggio.
I'll do anything you want,
Clean your room, or wash your car.
I'll do anything so long as you don't go.
But he said, this is what brothers are for.

Throwing himself into Kevin’s arms, Joe cried.

“You come back to me, Kevin! Do you hear? You come back!” Joe yelled at Kevin, clutching his lover’s shirt in his hands as he did.

Before Kevin could say a word, Joe was speaking again.

“Please, don’t leave me! I’ll do anything you want! Oh god, I’ll keep our room clean, I’ll wash your car every weekend! Please, Kevin, don’t leave me.” Joe sobbed into Kevin’s shirt. “I’ll do anything.” He whispered.

Taking Joe by the shoulders, he pulled his young lover back and looked him in the eyes.

“This is what brothers are for.”

Pressing a small kiss to Joe’s forehead, Kevin climbed into the car and left. Left Joe standing in the driveway, crying. What Joe never saw were Kevin’s own tears flowing freely down his face.

Well I have my heroes,
But the one I love the most
Taught me how to hunt and swing a bat.
And I wrote him every night,
I said I miss our pillow fights,
But lately I just wonder where you're at.

Joe sat on his bed the first night Kevin was gone and wrote. He wrote of happier times when he and Kevin could be the carefree kids, then lovers, they wanted to be.

He wrote about the first time that their dad had let Kevin take him hunting. Joe had hated it immediately. Granted, he was young and wanted nothing more than to stay home and play video games. But Kevin had smiled one of those smiles Joe’s way and he melted.

Joe laughed as he thought about the first time Kevin had taught him how to play baseball. Joe, being the most uncoordinated person on the planet, had managed to hit everything but the ball.

Halfway through, Kevin had moved behind him and positioned him in the right stance and showed him how to swing the bat without killing someone.

On the next pitch, Joe knocked the ball out of their front yard.

Sometimes freedom makes it hard to live.
When it takes things from you that you don't want to give.

Joe’s letters were all covered in tearstains. Every night he’d write and every night he’d end his letters the exact same way.

I said you come back you hear?
I miss you being near.
Laugh and fish down in the maple grove

He’d beg Kevin to come home. Alive and safe and into his waiting arms. He'd reminisce with Kevin about when they’d first admitted their feelings to one another. Kevin had been afraid that Joe was too young to really know what he was saying but in the end, Joe proved him wrong.

They’d been together for three months before they’d taken the final step and made love for the first time.

Joe closed his eyes, tears still falling, as he thought about Kevin taking him for the first time. How gentle and loving he’s been.

Joe had cried but then again, so had Kevin. Both men had been so overcome with their emotions their first time.

I'll do anything you want.
There must be someone I can call,
And just maybe they would let you come back home.
But he wrote, this is what brothers are for.

In his letter’s Joe would beg, promise Kevin the moon, if he’d just come home.

But each time Kevin would reply, he’d always end his letters the same way.

“This is what brothers are for.” He would say and Joe would cry once more.

I may never have to face the anger of those guns,
Or lie cold and wounded in my blood,
Or know the sacrifice and what it must of cost
For him to love me that much.

Many nights Nick would walk into Joe’s room while his brother was in the middle of a tantrum. He’d seen Joe at his worse, sobbing calling out for Kevin. He’d cling to Nick’s shirt and cry. He’d cry for hours, silently praying for his lovers’ safe return.

“It’s not fair, Nick. It’s not fucking fair!” Joe would often yell.

“I know, Joey. I know.” Nick would reply.

In the end, Nick would rock his brother, sometimes rubbing small circles on his back to sooth him. He’d talk to Joe about Kevin and sometimes it worked. Most times, it didn’t. But Nick never gave up, he never stopped comforting Joe. After all, that’s what brothers were for.

Well, it had been two years,
And I held back my tears
When I saw him in that wheel chair on the shore.

Joe had been fidgety all day. Today was the day he’d been waiting for, for two years. He’d been so nervous that Nick had opted to drive, just so they’d make it in one piece.

“Joe, seriously man, you have got to calm down.” Nick laughed.

Joe turned to look at Nick with the biggest smile his little brother could ever remember seeing.

“He’s home, Nicky. Kevin’s home.”

The brothers left it at that as they pulled into the parking lot.

Jumping from the car, Joe wasted no time in running towards his brother. He froze when he finally saw him.

And as I ran and held him tight,
That's when he looked me in the eye
And said I'm sorry that you have to push me home.
And I said hey, this is what brothers are for.

Joe ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Dropping down onto his knees in front of his lover, Joe grasped his face in his hands and smashed their lips together.

Gasping for breath, the two men finally broke apart.

With his head bowed, Kevin spoke.

“I’m sorry that you have to push me home.” He said, tugging at Joe’s heartstrings.

But in the end, Joe just smiled as he reached down to lift Kevin’s head back up.

“Kev, don’t you know, this is what brothers are for.”

Kevin smiled for the first time in two years.