Playing House

I pressed myself against the wall of the stairs, trying to make myself more invisible. It was unnecessary, because he wasn’t even in the house and to see me he’d have to peek around a corner.

But it was a natural instinct, and I didn’t know what else to do.

“She’s sleeping,” Ben told him. “It is practically the middle of the night.”

“Can you go wake her? I need to talk to her.”

“No. Come back at a decent hour and maybe I’ll think about letting you see her,” Ben remarked, starting to close the door. It was stopped though, by my ex’s hand.

“Listen, pal, I don’t think you understand-”

“No, I don’t think you understand, pal, Ben growled. “You’re on my property, and I want you off of it. Now.”

My ex must have run off, because the next noise I heard was Ben slamming the door and locking it. He stormed up the stairs, glaring at me as he walked by.

“What the hell is that look for?” I questioned, following him.

“What the fuck is he doing here, Amalia?” He yelled, suddenly turning to face me.

“Shh, Jesus,” I said, glancing at my children’s door and hoping his outburst didn’t wake them. Ben got the picture and pulled me into his room, shutting the door behind him.

“Well?”

“Well what??” I replied, frustrated. “You think I invited him here or something?!”

“How else would he fucking know where to find you?” Ben countered.

Good point. Hm.

“You do realize that I’m just as shocked as you are, right?” I snapped. He sighed heavily and turned away from me with his hands on his hips. “I have sat around for two and a half years hoping he would get his shit together and knock on my door, wanting to be a part of this family again. I didn’t know why he never showed up back then, and I don’t know why he’s suddenly showing up right now.”

Ben just stared out the window before walking to his door and opening it.

“Well he’s here now, so you can all be a family again,” he stated sullenly. He motioned with his hand for me to leave, so I did. He shut the door behind me, and I stood out in the hall, crying.

The next morning, a persistent knock on my door woke me up. I went and answered it, seeing Ben on the other side.

“Your ex is downstairs,” he informed.

“What?” I whispered, incredulous. “Why would you let him back in?” Ben just shrugged and walked away, and I rushed around to try and get dressed. I walked downstairs as quietly as possible, so that I could still chicken out at any point.

I saw Jake, my ex, sitting on the couch that was awkwardly positioned because of the forts that were still set up in the living room. Ben was leaning on a wall with his arms folded under his chest, glaring at Jake. Jake was trying to look anywhere but at Ben, and I could tell he was uncomfortable.

“This is a nice place you got here,” Jake offered, trying to ease the tension. Ben didn’t even flinch, and continued with his glaring. Jake coughed and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

I walked further into the room, clearing my throat. Jake stood up immediately, walking over to me. Before he could reach me Ben stood between us, and soon the dogs stood on either side of me.

“Amalia,” Jake greeted, keeping his distance.

“What are you doing here Jake?” I tried to make it sound like I was mad, but it ended up coming out as a whisper.

“My last child support check came back, saying you had a change in address,” he said, pulling an envelope out of his jacket.

“If you knew the new address why didn’t you just re-mail it?” I asked, taking the envelope from Ben who had grabbed it from Jake.

“Yeah, well. That’s the thing,” he said, glancing nervously at Ben. “Can we…uh, talk in private?” Jake asked me.

“No,” Ben answered. I didn’t disagree.

“Alright…fine. I wanted to see you,” Jake announced. “I missed you. I think…I think I’m ready for…us.”

“You think?” I remarked. He avoided eye contact. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Listen, when you got pregnant, I freaked out. But that doesn’t mean I’ve ever stopped loving you. I knew all I had to do was get enough courage to come back to you, but I got complacent. And then, when my check came back, I thought that was it. I was sure you moved clear across the country or something, and that I had lost my chance.”

My heart stopped.

He still loved me?

If this had happened a month or two ago, I would have already been in his arms.

But now, all I could do was stare at him, torn. I looked at Ben, who was no longer looking on angrily. He had stepped away slightly, so instead of being between Jake and I he was watching from the side. I could see the sadness in his eyes, and all I wanted to do was go to him.

“Amalia?” Jake sounded, snapping my attention back to him.

Before I could say anything, Maddie and Beau came downstairs. They saw me talking with a strange man, so they immediately went into Ben’s arms. Jake stared at them for the longest time, awestruck.

“Just out of curiosity,” Jake started, glancing at Ben oddly again. “Who is this guy, exactly?”

“Oh, he’s-

“Her boss. I’m her boss,” Ben interrupted. I looked at him strangely.

“You live with your boss?”

“She’s my housekeeper,” Ben answered, setting the kids down. Jake just looked between us, tilting his head to the side.

“Can I talk to you in the kitchen, Ben?” I diverted. He nodded and I motioned to Jake to give us a moment. I really didn’t want to leave Beau and Maddie in there alone with him, so I grabbed Maddie’s hand and Ben followed suit with Beau.

Once we were in the kitchen, I covered Maddie’s ears and Ben did the same to Beau.

“What the fuck was that?” I whispered angrily.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m her boss,” I mimicked, altering my voice to go lower. He rolled his eyes slightly. “You’re a little more than just my boss, don’t you think?”

“He doesn’t have to know that,” Ben stated.

“Yes he does! Why are you doing this?” I argued.

“Amalia, he wants to be a family again. That’s what you wanted, right? Here’s your chance,” he told me, letting go of Beau and walking out of the kitchen.

I stood there for a while, not knowing what to do. Both children were just looking up at me happily.

Ignorance is bliss, eh?

I finally walked back out with Beau and Maddie, and saw the two men having an intense stare down.

Okay, that’s being dramatic. It was more like, Ben was glaring and every so often Jake would look at him to see if Ben was still trying to kill him with his eyes. I sent Beau and Maddie over to the television, where Ben had already put Madeline’s show on. I walked over to Jake to talk to him, but as soon as I got near he put his hands on my waist and leaned in to kiss me.

My heart stopped again. Jake was quite the charmer.

In case the offspring of our relationship didn't clue you in, Jake could sweet talk his way into anything. Including my pants.

Like I said, a few months ago, I would have killed to have Jake back. Even though he abandoned us, I still loved him in a way.

He was the father of my children, after all.

But, then I met Ben. Ben had completely turned my world upside down, and I had fallen head over heels for him. But he wasn’t ready for this whole, ‘family thing’. Technically, Ben and I weren’t even dating, so that made things even more uncertain.

I turned my face away from Jake at the last second, avoiding the kiss.

“Sorry,” he apologized, moving his hands from my waist to my arms. “I know it’s too soon-”

“No, it’s not that you’re too soon,” I interrupted, causing his brow to furrow. “You’re too late.”

His eyes flickered to Ben, who’s eyebrows had shot up. Jake's eyes narrowed and his grip on my arms tightened.

“I think you should leave,” I suggested firmly, yanking myself from his grasp.

“This is bullshit, Amalia,” he asserted. “You can’t keep me from my children.”

“All of a sudden you want them?” Ben remarked, lightly. Then he hardened his features and motioned to the door. “Get out. Now.” The dogs growled, as if on cue, and started to slowly approach Jake.

“Just you wait,” Jake said, opening the door. “I’ll get them in my custody in a heart-beat, you’ll see.” He slammed the door behind him after he left.

I let his words sink in, and they chilled me to the bone.

“Mal,” Ben said softly, touching my arm. I pushed him away, not wanting physical contact of any kind at the moment. He looked at me, hurt etched in his features.

“It isn’t you,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I just need some space for a while.” His expression softened and he nodded. I walked upstairs to my room, leaving Ben with the kids.

I shut my bedroom door behind me, finally allowing tears to fall. I collapsed onto my bed and crawled under the covers, hoping that I could go to sleep and then wake up from this nightmare.