Playing House

Eventually I had pulled myself together long enough to get back inside the hotel room, where the twins were waiting patiently for breakfast. I went on autopilot for the rest of the day, sort of numbing myself so I wouldn’t have to think about anything.

Late in the evening, when I was running through the list of employment options in my head, there was a soft knock on the door. The kids were in bed watching television, but they looked like they were about to pass out soon. I got up quietly and answered the door, seeing Eleanor on the other side.

“Amelia,” she snootily greeted, brushing past me to get inside.

“Er, it’s Amalia,” I corrected. Eleanor either didn’t hear me or she didn’t care, and I was thinking it was the latter.

“I thought I told you to not let Benjamin know where you were going,” she remarked.

“I didn’t,” I told her.

“Then why did I receive an angry phone call from him asking what I had to do with you being at a hotel?” She countered.

“I asked him how he knew where to find me and he didn’t answer,” I defended. “I didn’t tell him.”

“Well you obviously can’t stay here any longer. I will find you another place,” she stated.

“I don’t think he’ll be back,” I told her sadly.

“We’ll see,” she said before walking out with a huff.

Five minutes later there was another knock on the door, and I groaned thinking it was Eleanor again. I cracked it open a little, and I was surprised to see Patrick Sharp.

“Hey,” I greeted, opening the door the rest of the way.

“Hey. We need to talk,” he replied, walking into the room. The kids tossed in their beds a little, prompting Patrick to lower his voice. “What the Hell is going on?”

“It’s-”

“Don’t you dare say complicated,” he interrupted, glaring at me. “Ben is totally going crazy. He came to my place, knocking frantically, telling me he can’t find you anywhere, and then he says the kids are gone and most of your things are gone, and he’s been calling you like mad but you won’t pick up. He couldn’t figure out what he did, and he was tearing himself apart thinking about it. We finally convinced Tina to tell us where you were, and Ben came here. And since he came back completely broken, I’m guessing it didn’t go so well.”

Patrick looked at me intensely, waiting for my response, but the only thing I could do was start crying. Patrick’s gaze softened and he pulled me into a hug, rubbing a hand up and down my back.

“Mal, what is going on?”

“Eleanor,” I hiccupped.

“Ah shit. Don’t even tell me you were manipulated by that hag,” Patrick sighed. He pulled away and looked down at me, still holding on to my upper arms.

I told Patrick the whole story, including the part about Ben coming over, and when I was finished he ran a tired hand over his face.

“Alright, look,” he started. “Ben is absolutely, completely, and entirely in love with you. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone before, and I’ve also never seen him so broken up. You’re killing him, Mal. He loves you.”

“Loved. He said so himself,” I murmured.

“Just call him and try to work things out,” Patrick pleaded, grabbing my cell phone off the dresser and handing it to me.

“But-”

“Don’t try and argue with me,” Patrick stated. “Call him. Now.”

I took a deep breath and scrolled though my phone, going to Ben’s name. I glanced up at Patrick once more, and he motioned for me to continue.

I pressed the talk button and held the phone up to my ear, holding my breath and waiting for Ben to answer.

Hey, this is Ben. I’m busy, so leave a message, and I’ll see if I wanna get back to you.

The beep prompted me to talk, but I had no idea what to say.

“Um. Ben? It’s me…Amalia. Uh. I wanted to talk to you, you know, about everything. Please call me?” I paused for a second, not sure what else to say. “Okay. Bye,” I finished lamely. I closed my phone, looking sadly at Patrick.

“Okay, I’m going to talk to him, get him to call you back, and I’ll talk to you later, alright?” Patrick asked. I nodded, and he gave me one last hug before leaving. I stayed up late, thinking Ben might end up calling me soon, but it never happened.

It was the same the next day, and the day after that.

And the week after that.

And the month after that.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Patrick kept in touch, saying that every time he brought me up to Ben he would refuse to talk about it. Patrick said he was there when Ben listened to my voicemail, but was hesitant to tell me his reaction to it. I finally convinced Patrick to tell me, and he said that Ben had immediately deleted it after listening and said he’d deal with it later.

Only, he never did. He never called me. It broke my heart, but at the same time, I knew I had it coming. I was stupid when I listened to Eleanor, but at the same time Ben not trying to call me at all almost confirmed everything she said.

Maybe he was relieved to be rid of us, maybe he missed us. Either way I didn’t know, because Ben straight up refused to talk to me. I called him, emailed him, and talked to other people to try and get him to talk to me. But he wouldn’t.

One day I just stopped trying, my last message putting the ball in his court for the final time.

“Ben, I know you’re probably tired of me calling you, but I just wanted to try one last time. I’m sorry about everything that has happened, and I really wish I could talk to you about it. I’d hate to bother you any more than necessary, so this will be my last message. I guess if you don’t get back to me then I’ll just assume that…that it’s all over. I hope you do get back to me though. I love you.”

Obviously, he never got back to me.

I started working again, as a waitress, and the kids stayed with Lyss or Erin depending on their schedules and my shifts. Eleanor continued paying for my hotel room, and since I couldn’t afford my own place, I stayed. I found it ironic that I was in the hotel that basically fired me and prompted me to meet Ben in the first place.

I was now four months pregnant, and I was freaking huge. It made me sad whenever I thought about Ben not being with me during ultrasounds and stuff, but there was nothing I could do about it. I made sure to always relay things to him through his teammates, but they said he never wanted to hear it.

One day I got to Lyss and Duncan’s apartment, where Lyss was watching the twins. I came to pick them up, and as soon as I got there Lyss was acting oddly.

“Everything okay?” I asked her, chuckling a bit.

“Mhm. Sure. Yep,” she answered. I glanced at her strangely, but I wasn’t able to question her about it because Duncan came around the corner with a child under each arm making airplane noises. The kids squealed in delight, and Duncan immediately froze when he saw me, his cheeks tinting pink.

“Hi Duncan,” I smiled.

“Heh. Hello,” he replied sheepishly, setting the twins down.

“He’s been playing airplane with them for the past hour,” Lyss noted, smiling brightly at him.

“Lyss,” Duncan groaned embarrassedly, blushing deeper. She giggled at him, before turning back to me.

“So, same time tomorrow?” She asked me, referring to babysitting again.

“Yep,” I answered, greeting my kids. “Hey you two! Did you have fun with Auntie Lyss and Uncle Duncan?”

“Yes!” Maddie screamed.

“And Mommy, Mommy, guess what? ” Beau called, tugging on my arm. I looked down at him, causing him to continue. “Daddy was here too an’ he payed wif us for like a hunderd hours.”

I looked up at Lyss, who was avoiding eye contact.

“He was real happy to see us,” Maddie added. “Mommy why can’t we go home?”

I stood up quickly, looking back at Lyss and Duncan who were shifting around uncomfortably.

“He was here?” I whispered. Lyss shooed the kids into the other room while she and Duncan came over to me. My stomach gave a little jolt and I clutched it, trying to calm myself down.

“We had plans to hang out,” Duncan explained. “I was supposed to meet him somewhere but he showed up here unexpected and early. The twins caught sight of him, and we ended up staying here. He left maybe like, ten minutes before you got here. He really was happy to see them.” I nodded, trying to fight my overwhelming emotions. I suddenly heard a door open, followed by a booming voice.

“Yo Duncs! I left my phone-” Ben stopped once he saw me.

“Yeah, it’s on the mantle of the fireplace,” Duncan said. Suddenly the urge to cry was harder, and I tried as best as I could to keep them in. Ben kept staring at me, letting his eyes travel over my pregnant form. I looked away, not wanting him to feel it necessary to talk to me, and soon enough I felt him leave the room. I let a few stray tears fall, and Lyss wiped them away for me.

“Mal you can’t do this anymore,” she said to me. “Ben loves those twins and they deserve a father. I know the two of you love each other too and this is getting ridiculous.” I didn’t say anything, and soon enough I saw her leave. She came back a moment later with Ben, and Duncan was trailing behind. Ben looked at me expectantly, but I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Well?” He asked harshly. I winced, feeling more tears in my eyes.

“She didn’t actually have anything to say, I just said that to get you to come in here,” Lyss told him. Ben turned to walk out, but Duncan blocked him.

“Just talk to her,” he insisted quietly. Ben sighed and turned back towards me, but he didn’t look me in the eyes.

“The twins really enjoyed seeing you today,” I said softly.

“Ditto,” he replied shortly.

“Maybe…maybe we can-”

“We’re not working things out, Mal. We’re done.”

“…Switch off,” I finished. His glare faltered for a moment. “If you even want to.”

He nodded and furrowed his brow at me when I clutched my stomach again.

“You’re only like, four months along, right?” He asked, looking at my large belly. I nodded at him. “Why are you so big? You look ready to pop any second.”

“Daddy!” Maddie suddenly screamed, causing me to jump. He immediately scooped her up into his arms and kissed her cheek, and Beau came in soon after. He was picked up by Ben as well before Maddie spoke again. “Did you come back to get us?”

“Uh. Well your mom and I were just working on that,” he told her. “I’m free for the next few days, so maybe I can take them?” He directed at me.

“Take us where?” Maddie asked after I nodded.

“Home. We can build some forts, alright?” Ben answered.

“But what about Mommy?”

Ben glanced up at me for a second.

“I have to work, sweetheart,” I told her. That seemed enough for her, as she immediately dropped the subject.

“Daddy look at Mommy’s big belly,” Maddie giggled.

“I see it,” Ben confirmed.

“She’s got three whole babies in there,” Beau stated. Ben’s eyes widened and his head snapped towards mine, and I suddenly felt the need to throw up.