Playing House

As soon as Leah and I walked into the house, Ben approached me quickly.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” He requested nervously. I glanced at Leah and she smirked.

“Leah, why don’t you go start putting this stuff away. Ben and I will grab the rest of it,” I said. She nodded and Ben and I walked back outside toward my car.

“How do you like it?” He asked, motioning to the Chevy.

“It’s really great, thanks,” I smiled. “Where are my parents?”

“Reading a story to Beau and Maddie. We just got the triplets to settle down again,” he replied. I nodded absentmindedly, waiting for him to continue speaking.

“So…” I prompted.

“Can the guys come over for dinner tonight?” He blurted.

“What?” I asked, caught off guard. Yes, I knew he was going to ask me about the guys coming over, but I assumed he called me out here to apologize.

“It’s just, with things being so awkward with your parents, and your dad being a fan, I figured it would ease some of the tension,” he rambled.

“Oh…” I sounded. “Um, sure.” It wasn’t like I was going to say no, seeing as I bought all the food for tonight’s big dinner anyway. I moved to grab more grocery bags, but Ben grabbed my arm and stopped me. I looked at him, waiting, and suddenly Ben pulled my body into his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face against my neck.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I stood there, my arms still limply at my sides. “I really am, Amalia.” He pulled away, cupping my unamused face in his hands.

He was going to have to do a lot better than that.

“I had a dream last night,” he continued.

“I thought you didn’t get any sleep,” I remarked.

“During one of my few moments of sleep,” he restarted, causing me to roll my eyes. “I had a dream.”

“Ooh, how uncommon,” I quipped. Ben closed his eyes and took a deep breath trying to remain calm. He laced his fingers with mine, and opened his eyes again.

“You were in labor, and you didn’t make it.”

My face contorted, and I glared at him bewildered.

“Lovely,” I muttered.

“It scared me, Amalia. I woke up, freaked out, and all I could do was just sit in bed and look at you and the triplets because I was afraid to go back to sleep. Then, when I finally do fall back asleep, I have another dream about walking in on you and Sharpie in our bed and I can’t fucking move and I feel like that dream is still in the realm of possibility, you know? And-”

“Ben,” I halted. “Shut up.” I pulled away from him and grabbed some grocery bags, leaving the rest for him as I walked away into the house. “Hey Leah,” I called as Ben and I entered the kitchen. She halted putting the groceries away and looked up at me. “We’ve got some company coming over for a big dinner, so why don’t you go home and freshen up and come back for the party?”

Which was my code for “Go make yourself look hot for Sharpie.” I knew she understood what I meant, because she began to blush.

“Sure,” she nodded, grabbing her things. “See you later.” After she left, I turned to Ben.

“Why doesn’t she live here?” I asked him.

“She was going to, but she couldn’t sell her place, and she didn’t want to waste money by having no one live in it, and it never really got resolved,” Ben explained, looking at me warily. I could tell he wasn’t sure if I was still mad or not.

“Well, you should resolve it. Then the poor girl wouldn’t have to waste gas going back and forth and-”

“Okay, okay. I’ll talk to her later,” Ben assured. I began sifting through the bags to put things away, and Ben followed suit. “You don’t need to go back to the store or anything?” He asked.

“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “Why would I?”

“I just figured you’d need more food if the guys were coming over,” Ben shrugged, helping me put groceries away. “Oh wait…you already bought a shitload,” he noticed. I froze momentarily, my back facing Ben. I turned around swiftly, seeing him look through all the bags.

“Yeah well, it’s not like the guys coming over isn’t a regular occurrence. I figured I should be ready, since it happens at least once a week,” I covered.

“Good thinking,” Ben nodded. I let out a soft breath, turning to put more groceries away. Suddenly I felt Ben’s hands on my hips, causing me to straighten up and turn my head to look at him. “Do you hate me?”

“Ben,” I sighed. “I don’t have time for this.”

Ben sighed and took his hands off of me, and I continued picking up items out of the bags on the ground. Once I had my hands filled with things that needed to go in the fridge, I turned and glanced at him as I walked across the kitchen. He was sitting at the table, just watching me pitifully.

“What?” I asked him tiredly as I maneuvered the refrigerator door open.

“Nothing,” he said softly.

“Ben, you know I don’t hate you,” I grunted as I almost dropped a two liter container of Sprite.

“Yes you do,” he remarked, dropping his cheek to the tabletop. “And you should. I’m the worst father slash boyfriend ever.”

“No you’re not,” I denied, shoving the milk in after the pop. “You’re not the greatest, but you’re not the worst either.” I looked over at him with a smirk, but he still didn’t look very amused.

“Does that mean you forgive me?” He asked, bringing his head off the table slightly.

“Psh, fuck no,” I snorted. Ben let his head drop back down onto the table, and it made a louder noise than I expected.

“Ow,” he muttered.

“Ben,” I scolded lightly, walking over to him and lifting his head up to examine the damage. He had a red mark on his forehead, and I could see a bruise forming already. I pulled away form him and went to the freezer, pulling out a bag of vegetables. I went back over and put it on his head before placing his hand over it to keep it in place. I walked away again, continuing to unpack the groceries.

A couple minutes later, I turned back around and looked at Ben, who had put the bag of vegetables on the table and put his head on top of it. I shook my head and put all the empty grocery bags in the cabinet that Ben kept the others in, so he’d have them to clean up after the dogs with.

“Let me see,” I said to him, a hand on his shoulder. Ben sat up and turned toward me. His head was all red, mostly from the cold vegetables, and there was still a light bruise above his right eye. I threw the vegetables back into the freezer, and then pulled Ben up from his chair. “Go rest or something,” I told him.

“But-”

“We both know you’re tired, Ben. You made that clear. And I know you haven’t been able to get a good nap, so just go to sleep.”

“No, it’s fine. I really-”

“Need to sleep,” I interrupted.

“So do you,” he noted.

“Oh, now all of a sudden I didn’t get enough rest either? Funny you should notice now…”

“Amalia.”

“No Ben,” I snapped. “I am nowhere near ready to forgive you for the things you said. I don’t care how sorry you are, or how much you apologize. Some of that needs more than an ‘I’m sorry’ to make it alright.”

“I know,” Ben nodded. “But I don’t know what to say.”

“I know,” I responded. “And I think that’s part of the problem.”

Ben ran a hand over his face, wincing when he brushed over his bruise.

“But you’re not going to leave, right?” He asked softly, putting his hands on my waist and pulling me into him. “It’s just, I know I have a lot of making up to do, but I don’t want you to leave. I want you to know that I want you, and I want the kids. And although it’s going to take me some time to make things right, I do want to make things right. So, stay?”

I nodded, afraid that if I opened my mouth to speak I would just blurt out that I forgave him. Obviously I wanted to forgive him, but I also wanted to make him work for it. I laid my head against his chest as he hugged me, and I felt him lean down and kiss my temple before resting the side of his head on top of mine.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” I replied.

“Can we talk?”

“Uh, we are now, aren’t we?” I looked up at him.

“I mean do you have time to start talking to me now? About the things I said?” He asked. “The kids are preoccupied with your parents, so I just figured…”

“If you want to,” I shrugged, turning toward the refrigerator. Ben grabbed my arm, turning me back toward him.

“If you’re busy cooking, it can wait until later tonight,” he offered.

“If you want my undivided attention Ben, then yes, it might have to be later,” I said. “But do you promise that we’ll talk about it?”

“I promise,” he nodded. I smiled softly at him and opened the refrigerator, bringing a few things back out.

“Ben,” I called out before he left the kitchen. He turned around, looking at me attentively. “Do you want to help me?”

“Sure,” he smiled, grabbing the items in my hand and setting them on the counter. I watched him as he grabbed a few bowls and such, smiling softly to myself. Sure, I was still upset with him, but I knew that he was genuinely trying to make things right, and for that I couldn’t be angry.