I Hate the Way You Say My Name, Like It's Something Secret

Pete’s POV

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked good in the tux I’d gone out and bought with Patrick a few days ago. It was nice, smart looking.

“You look good Pete.” ‘Trick smiled, peering into the en-suite bathroom in the hotel we were staying at. Ashlee had kicked me out of our hotel room so we didn’t see each other before the wedding.

“Thanks.” I smiled weakly back at him. Something didn’t feel right.

“What’s wrong?” Patrick asked, leaning against the door frame.

“I don’t know ‘Trick, something feels wrong.” He shook his head.

“What do you mean, Pete? This is your wedding, everything should feel perfect.”

“I can’t explain it.” I practically whispered. “Do... do you think I’m making a mistake?”

“Do you think you are? Pete, it’s not about what I think – or anyone else for that matter. This is about you, how you feel and if you think you’re making a mistake then now would be the time to say. If you don’t, then you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

“I know ‘Trick.” We stayed in silence for a few minutes as I thought about it. I knew how I felt. I knew that I shouldn’t have the feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew that right now I should be excited, knowing that I was 110% sure I wanted to marry my fiancé. But I didn’t feel any of that. I wasn’t excited, if anything – I was dreading it. I was doing this for all the wrong reasons and I knew that the only way this would feel right is if it was Cassidy that would be walking down the aisle, not Ashlee.

“I can’t do this Patrick.” I said, sounding so sure of myself. I was shocked at the small smile that crept onto his face.

“Ok, then you should go and tell everyone – don’t you think?” I nodded knowing I’d have to go and tell Ashlee, and my parents.

I slid past Patrick and he patted me on the back on my way out, muttering a ‘good luck’. This wasn’t going to be easy and I knew it.

I headed down the hall to mine and Ashlee’s room, knocking lightly on the door. Ashlee’s sister, Jessica, opened the door with a confused expression on her face.

“What’s up?” She asked; her blonde hair perfectly curled.

“I need to speak to Ashlee.” I told her.

“But you can’t see her before the wedding, its bad luck Pete – you know that.”

“Look Jess, I really need to speak to her – can you just go and get her please.”

“Ok, but you know she’s going to kill you for this.” I nodded, shoving my hands into my pockets.

Ashlee appeared at the door, her face like thunder.

“This better be good Peter.” She growled, stepping into the hallway.

Her make-up was perfectly done, her hair already styled. I didn’t want to break her heart, I really didn’t. There was a time I loved Ashlee, and up until recently I really thought it was enough to just forget about Cassidy. But it was so far from it I was stupid to even think it was possible.

“Look Ash, I can’t do this. I’m really, really sorry but it just wouldn’t be right if we got married. I’m still in love with…”

“Don’t you dare even say you’re still in love with Cassidy. You cannot be fucking serious Peter.”

“I’m deadly serious, Ash. I just can’t forget about her. It’s not fair on you; you deserve someone better than that. I’m sorry for not realising this sooner but we’re just not right for each other.”

“You realise that you’ll never see Bronx again, right?” She glared.

“Oh c’mon – stop being ridiculous. The kid’s old enough to decide that for himself so don’t even try that one. Just face it Ashlee, this wedding isn’t happening, we’re over.”

I hated sounding as harsh as I did but Ashlee could be so manipulative that I just had to tell her straight. She was glaring at me like no tomorrow as her eyes filled up with tears and she turned around, storming into her room and slamming the door in my face.

I sighed, knowing right now she’d be crying, her parents and sister making a complete fuss of her. I headed down to everyone else’s rooms, telling them one by one that the wedding was off. After explaining to everyone I headed back to Patrick’s room where he’d already collected some of my stuff from mine and Ashlee’s room.

“I only grabbed your essentials; it was so awkward in there!” Patrick stated.

“I can imagine. Thanks ‘Trick, I appreciate it.” I smiled softly at him.

“No problem, I knew she’d rip your head off if you went back there anyways. So, what’re you gonna do now?” He questioned. I thought for a moment, realising I didn’t really have a plan.

“Catch the next flight back to Chicago I suppose. Go and tell Cass everything and just pray to God that she forgives me for what I’ve put her through.” I sighed.

“Well, good luck. You know how stubborn she can be, Pete. But she does love you, no matter what she says – she’s always loved you.” I nodded slowly and gave him a quick hug before picking up my suitcase and heading to the airport.

&&;

Hours had passed giving me more than enough time to go over a million different ways this could go down, things I could say, things she could say… everything. But I had finally landed in Chicago and was on my way to Patrick’s. I knew that Hayley wouldn’t be pleased with me considering that it was now 2am but that didn’t matter, I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. The cab driver pulled up on the curb outside their house and I stared out at the house, thinking about what she might be doing; would she be thinking of me? Would she be upset that I’d be married by now? The cab driver coughed, snapping me out of my thoughts and I quickly apologised, shoving some money in his direction. I shakily pulled my suitcase up the driveway, stopping at the front door. I took a deep breath before knocking – there was no going back now.

I heard shuffling behind the door and it swung open revealing Hayley in her pyjamas. She tilted her head sleepily, looking confused.

“Pete, what the hell are you doing here? You do realise that it’s two in the ‘effin morning, don’t you?” The one thing about Hayley was that she rarely ever swore so I knew she was pretty pissed.

“Is Cass here?” I asked, ignoring her questions.

“No…” What did she mean ‘no’? What if Cass was with another guy? What if she’d found someone? “She’s at her parents, they’ve gone away.”

I sighed in relief, remembering that Sky had mentioned something briefly in the café the other day although I’d only caught parts of it. I thanked Hayley and apologised for waking her up before rushing over to Cass’ parents’ house.

Cassidy’s POV

I sat on the couch with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s as I watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. It was getting late and I was beginning to feel sleepy. I closed my eyes, listening to What’s This? Loud knocks at the door startled me as I was just dozing off. I groaned and stood up, making my way to the front door. If it was Hayley coming to check on me again I was going to murder her, although it was a bit late for her to be coming round. I opened the door and stared in disbelief at the figure stood before me.

“Can I come in?” He asked sheepishly.

I stood frozen to the spot, just staring at him. Surely I was dreaming or something, he couldn’t possibly be here could he?

“Well?” I snapped back into reality and nodded slowly, confusion written all over my face. He stepped into the hallway and I closed the door behind him before turning around to face him. We stared at each other in silence for a few moments before I finally managed to collect my thoughts and speak.

“W-What are you doing here?” I asked quietly. “Shouldn’t you be spending your wedding night with Ashlee?”

“I-I couldn’t do it Cass.” He whispered. Now I was more confused than ever.

“I love you more than you could ever imagine. I don’t love Ashlee, I was kidding myself. You’re quite literally my everything and the thought of never being with you again makes everything seem pointless. I-I guess what I’m trying to say is; Cassidy Hannah Stump w-will you marry me?” He asked nervously, falling down onto one knee. He pulled out a small black box from his pocket and flipped it open, revealing his grandmothers ring. It was quite easily the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen.

I stayed silent for a few moments, thinking about everything. I’d always dreamt of this moment and now it was finally happening. It seemed so surreal. I looked into Pete’s eyes, taking in the nervous look his eyes held. He looked gorgeous, the light from the television was the only source of light and it illuminated his face beautifully. I thought about everything we’d ever been through together; my surprise birthday party that he and Patrick arranged for me when I was ten, the Christmases we’d spent together when we were younger, movie nights, him helping me through my first day of high school, teaching me to play bass, comforting me when my dad was in a car accident, our first time, keeping everything from Patrick, the first pregnancy, loosing the baby, him cheating on me, the twins being born… everything. It was then I realized that no matter what we went through, we were always going to love each other and no one else was right for either of us. We knew each other inside out and nothing was going to come between us.

“O-Of course I’ll marry you, Pete.” I whispered, a smile creeping across my lips. He let out a sigh of relief and stood up, taking my hand and sliding the ring onto my ring finger. He rested his forehead against mine as I grinned down at it before looking up into his eyes. I tip-toed to place a soft kiss on his lips. He laughed and picked me up off of the ground, wrapping my legs securely around his waist. I pressed my mouth to his and he kissed me back passionately, his tongue slipping into my mouth and dancing with mine. My hands got tangled in his hair as the kiss got even more heated.

“I love you Cass, never fucking forget that.” He said seriously, looking into my eyes.

“I love you too, Pete.” I whispered, grinning.

He began walking slowly and started making his way up the stairs, not once breaking the kiss. He let go of me with one hand to undo my bedroom door. He walked inside and pressed me up against my door to close it. I moaned against his lips as he pressed himself against me even harder. My hands made their way to his chest as I began to unzip his hoody. I managed to remove it before lifting his shirt up over his head. I gazed at his bare chest before placing kisses all over his neck and collar bones. He placed me on the floor and unzipped the hoody of his that I was wearing. I’d put it on after finding it in my wardrobe. His fingers slipped under my shirt as he slowly lifted it over my head and let it fall to the floor. He crouched down slightly, kissing the tops of my breasts quickly before picking me up again.

He carried me over to the bed, lying me down carefully before crawling on top of me. He hovered above me, trailing kisses from my neck, down over my breasts and then down my stomach as he pulled my shorts down my legs, letting me kick them to the floor. His fingers barely touched my skin as he moved them down my thighs. He was driving me crazy without even meaning to. Just feeling his bare skin against mine made me feel like I was on fire. I flipped us over and quickly removed his jeans, sitting on top of his half naked body in my underwear. I felt him go hard beneath the thin fabric of his boxers. I had to get them off of him. I teased them down his legs and he kicked them off quickly before swiftly removing my underwear leaving us both completely naked.

I watched his eyes travel down my body as he licked his lips. He crawled on top of me, moving us up my bed so that my head was on the pillows. I spread my legs, allowing him to lie between them. My mind nearly exploded when I felt his member against my inner thigh. I actually needed him. I was so ready for this, I was getting impatient. He just about covered every inch of my exposed skin in kisses before placing himself at my entrance. He paused, staring down into my eyes with his full of passion, love and lust. I don’t think I’d ever felt so wanted by someone before as he pushed the tip of his penis inside me. I dug my nails into his back as he thrust himself completely into me without any warning. He kissed my lips softly as he began moving in and out of me, not breaking eye contact. His thrusts became harder and faster as I moaned his name into his shoulder. He grabbed my knee and hooked my leg around his waist, allowing him to go deeper inside me. We both let out loud moans when he thrust even further into me and he quickly done the same to my other leg, sending himself even further than before. I screamed as he completely filled me and hit my spot. He smirked and kissed my neck, biting softly as he thrust into me repeatedly.

“Pete,” I moaned loudly into his shoulder. He took one hand off of my leg and grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together. I squeezed his hand tightly as I felt myself get closer.

“Baby open your eyes.” He whispered huskily into my ear, biting my lobe gently. I opened my eyes, looking up into his. He smiled down lovingly at me and nudged my nose with his, laughing softly. I felt myself tighten around him as the familiar feeling overwhelmed me. He came inside me, both of us climaxing at the same time. He rode us both through it before slowing down and eventually coming to a stop. He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. I pressed my lips against his gently and he responded, our lips moving in perfect sync. He pulled out of me and collapsed at my side, pulling me onto his chest.

“I love you Panda.” I mumbled kissing his chest as my fingers skimmed over his bartskull tattoo. I’d missed tracing it. It was something that I used to do so often.

“I love you too Cassidy.” He whispered, playing with my hair gently. My eyes began to feel heavier and soon closed. A small smile still played on my lips as I cuddled up closer to Pete, hoping that this wasn’t just some kind of dream. In that moment I was filled with consent. This was how it was supposed to be.