Three Strikes

I felt as though I’d committed the world’s biggest sin.

The park was empty save for a couple of kids on the swings. I watched them sway back and forth aiming for the sky. The cool Los Angeles breeze swept through my hair teasing the auburn curls. And that’s when I saw him walk down the path, hands swinging at his sides. His hair was mussed up in waves that framed his handsome yet boyish face. His eyes locked with mine and a small smile crept onto his face. I lowered my gaze as he neared and took the seat next to mine.

We sat in silence until he broke it quietly. “Nothing happened.”

My head shot up to see him staring intently at me. I sighed. “I know we didn’t… I mean… if we had I’m sure I’d feel different somehow. Did you feel different after…?” I trailed off, leaving the question to flutter like the wind.

“A little.” Joe admitted quietly, wringing his hands. “Ashamed mostly. Scared. Sick.”

“I felt that this morning.” I told him, folding my arms as I leaned back against the park bench. “But I think everything just hit me. Last night wasn’t totally innocent.” I pointed out, remembering the ways in which his hands had glided across my skin. The clash of our lips…

Joe agreed with a nod of his head. “You’ve not committed a crime, Rose. Here.” He said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a long chain on which two similar rings sat. My eyes widened.

“You got your ring back?” I asked in disbelief as Joe unhooked my purity ring from his chain. He placed it on my finger and nodded slowly.

“I did.” He coughed awkwardly and gave a false smile that I saw through. “No more pretending.” He said, turning to the direction of the lake. I stared at him somewhat perplexed. Joe sounded so low. “No more secrets. I’ll tell my parents that the wedding’s off. I’ll go later… for now,” said Joe, turning to me, “I just want to sit and enjoy the moment with you.” His eyes were downcast as he watched the blades of grass move with the slight wind. His hands shook minutely and his face seemed to be set in stone.

“Thank you.” I whispered only to have Joe laugh quietly.

“For what? Worrying you? Making you lie to everyone you care about? If there’s someone to thank it’s you, Rose. Not me.” He laughed again and I knew it was forced. “Thank you.” He murmured, stressing the pronoun.

I shook my head. “It wasn’t all bad.”

“Ha!” Joe scoffed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, sending his curls in different direction. “Good one.” He bit out.

“No,” I said, grabbing his chin, forcing him to look at me. “I got my friend back.”

“Yeah, right.” Joe wrenched his hand from mine and stood up. “Some friend I am, right? Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I’m leaving soon anyway.”

My brow puckered. “Leaving where?”

“European tour. It’s just like old times,” he smiled bitterly. “I’m leaving you again, Rose. Don’t you get it? I’m not a good friend. I’m not good for you. At all.” He started to walk away, mumbling just loud enough so I could hear. “I’ll never be good enough for you.”

“What has gotten into you!” I called to his retreating back, standing up myself. I caught up with him easily, matching his pace. “You don’t just… Joe you don’t stay the night and just leave and tell the other person that you don’t care for them! Are you saying that you don’t care about me?” I asked, my voice breaking.

“No!” Joe said, stopping his march. “No, I care for you Rose. More than you know.”

“Then why are you… are you breaking up with me?”

Joe laughed. “We were never together, Rose.” His voice cracked on the last syllable.

“So last night wasn’t real was it?” I asked of him, fighting back the tears that wanted to fall. “The kisses meant nothing to you. It was just part of the plan well guess what Joe - there was no one to fool!”

“I was fooling myself!” Joe yelled, attracting the attention of the people that surrounded us in the park; families who were enjoying the weekend sun. “I fooled myself into thinking that you loved me and it was good. Rose, it was great whilst it lasted but I can’t make you fall in love with me.”

“Well too late!” I hissed at him as the first tear fell. “I already have.”

Joe stopped and he appeared speechless. He looked at me silently wanting a confirmation and when I nodded my head he buried his head in his hands and his shoulders shook. I didn’t know whether he was crying or laughing. As he took his hands away it appeared to be neither. “If only it were under different circumstances.” He commented.

“The tour.” I nodded.

Joe’s smile was tight and bemused. “Well, that too.” He said finally. “You’re in love with me?” He said, taking a step closer. I gazed up at him.

“My heart goes into overdrive when I see you.” I told him seriously. “It’s like a drum. And when I’m at work all I can think about is you, it’s like a disease that’s taken over me…. Joe, I can’t think straight, or eat or sleep or appear to do anything without your approval or say so.” I opened my mouth to convince the man standing in front of me that I was smitten when he cut me off with a searing kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing us closer until we were flush against one another.

Pulling away Joe rested his forehead on my own. “I love you, Rose Mary Fletcher.” He said for the first time without a camera in front of our faces.

“I love you Joseph Adam Jonas.”

Joe smiled before kissing me once more.

If only I’d have known what lay in store for me over the next few weeks. If I’d have known what had been going on behind closed doors… well… things would’ve been different.

Very different.