Never Say Goodbye

*Jackie's POV*

"So you have your old room." Zack smiled and opened the door for me.

I walked in, tossing a bag down onto my old familiar bed. Nothing had changed since I left. My bed still had purple and black sheets on it. There was still the elephant lamp from an old friend... I hated to admit but I forgot who. The walls were still adorned with pictures of the gang and random pieces of my art work. I turned to Zack with a smile "Thanks bro..."

"Anytime. I'll uhm.." He paused, thinking "I'll be downstairs if you need me."

I nodded and gave him a quick hug before he left. I sat down on the bed as soon as he shut the door, taking in the scents. It still smelled of my old perfumes. Everything before I moved in with Matt. I looked around, the pregnancy test box still laid on my desk. I took in a deep breath and walked over, tossing it in the trashcan. Finally. I looked down at my bare desk and then to the door, where Zack had left my box of things. I walked over to it and opened it up. Whatever I had brought to Matt's was in there.

I pulled my laptop out and set it on the desk, turning it on and opening Itunes. I needed music and I needed it badly. My calendar popped up though, and I glanced it over.

Valentines day! It flashed in pink writing.

I groaned. I had left a card for Matt on the fridge, but with everything that went on he probably never got it. I closed the computer, memories flooding my mind of the previous day. Everything was going so fast, moving along so quickly. It was so confusing, I couldn't even tell what was real or fake anymore to be honest.

I was zoning out when a knock on the door pulled me back to reality "Jackie?"

I sighed and spun around in the desk chair, facing the closed door "Yah?" I asked, pulling my legs up under me.

The door opened slowly and Gena stood there, her eyes soft and looking like she'd been crying "Hey kiddo." She walked over and without another word engulfed me in the biggest hug I'd even recieved from her. The tears began flowing again as I rested my chin on her shoulder.

"Oh God, Gena..." I whispered "I can't do this!"

"Shh, yes you can hun." She whispered back, sniffling and pulling away. We were both crying. She pulled up another chair from the corner and sat infront of me.

"No." I shook my head "I can't.... this is too hard." I sobbed into my hands, most likely smearing whatever makeup I had on.

"I know you can, Jackie. You're strong, stronger than anyone I know. Any chick I know." She pulled my face up and looked at me "I know you can do this. And we're all here for you. Zack, Brian, Jimmy, Johnny, Leana, Lacey, Brianna, Kristy, Matt, and me."

I looked up "Not Matt." Her eyes showed more pain now "He doesn't want me anymore."

"Don't tell yourself that." She sighed and held my hands in her's "Of course he wants you, he loves you."

I sighed and closed my eyes "If he loved me, why hasn't he even called to see if I'm alright?" I asked.

She paused with her mouth open, collecting her words "This is hard on him too, hun. He wanted that baby as much as you did, you should have heard him talk." She smiled wide "He and Zack went on and on about how excited they were, Jackie. He's hurting, just as much as you are."

"He doesn't have that same feeling, Geen. He doesn't feel like something's lost, something completely wrong inside... That there's this thing... missing from you." I sighed and let go of her hands "I just don't want to go on."

There was a few minutes of quiet, before Gena left. She said she'd be back and that she and Zack were downstairs if I needed either one of them. Frankly, all I wanted to do right now was go out and find something to do. To keep my mind off of this. Occupy myself with something... someone. But we've already gone there, I've already tried that.

I needed Matt. And I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to rely on anyone right now.

~*~*~

*Matt's POV*

Jackie was gone. I knew Zack had a point, she'd probably get better sooner if she didn't have to walk past the nursery every day. But the house was so quiet and lonely without her. I wanted to wake up to her, I wanted to walk into the kitchen and see her standing there. I wanted to hear her laughing at some comedy show on TV when I walked out of the shower in the morning. I wanted her to be here... but Zack was right, she needed to get away and clear her mind.

I walked into the kitchen, there was something missing. The smell of coffee. Jackie always had coffee made, there was always coffee around here somewhere, and not smelling or seeing it reminded me she wasn't here. Damn, I'm talking like she's dead.

I glanced around the empty room, my eyes landing on something taped to the fridge. I walked over and picked it up, it was a red card with black outlined hearts all over it. Sh*t...

Happy Valentines Day!

I opened it up. I forgot about Valentines day, it was the day before Jackie's mi-... yah, that. And I guess things just got so hectic I didn't remember.

Hope you have a super awesome Valentines Day, I know mine will be. Because I have you.

xoxo love forever Jackie and The Bump.

I felt tears welling in my eyes, she left it there before the accident. I felt my fingers trembling and set the card down on the table, propping it up against a napkin holder. I sat down, holding my head in my hands. This wasn't real... I was going to wake up any second now.. I swear. This couldn't be real, we were supposed to be perfect. This was supposed to go right. We were supposed to have a baby in a few weeks, I was supposed to be going on to-..

"F*cking sh*t!" I screamed and stood up, grabbing the cordless phone off the wall and calling Zack.

"Hey dude what-"

"Zack!" I cut him off "We can't tour."

"Uhm... excuse me?" He asked "What? Who is this? Matt?"

I groaned "Shut up dipsh*t. Of course it's me. We can't tour. Not after this."

There was a pause "I know... I already thought of that, but it's so close that if we cancel we'll look like jackasses."

"I know, and I really don't care what other people think. Jackie just lost a f*ckin' baby, man. I can't leave now."

"Matt, I know how you feel-"

"NO YOU DON'T!" I shouted, letting my anger get the best of me "No you f*ckin' don't, Zack! You don't know how it feels! The girl I f*cking love just had a miscarriage, we just lost our baby!" I shouted again, I couldn't see my eyes were so blurred with tears "I can't even think of what she's going through, and I'm leaving her like that? I can't man... I can't do that to her. I... I.."

"Then get your ass over here and straighten things out."

"Gena?" I asked "Where'd Zack go?"

"I took the phone from him." She sighed "Get over here. Talk to her."

"I... But I.."

"Grow a pair, Matt. She thinks you don't want her anymore, because you agreed with Zack. She's broken right now. She needs someone to fix her, and you know you're the only person who was ever able to fix her." She had a point "So either get over here and tell her you love her and stay by her side, or go to Hell."

"Well that's a choice." I rolled my eye and wiped them with my sleeve.

"Yah, so do you love her?" She asked.

I scoffed "Well duh. I'd die for her, Gena."

"Then come show her. She needs it, Matt. Believe me." Gena whispered and hung up.

I sighed, I needed to, I wanted to, I was going to show Jackie how much I loved her. And that this wasn't going to hinder that what so ever.