Put Your Heart Where Your Mouth Is

I didn't know what my parents were talking about, and I wasn't exactly hell-bent on trying to figure it out. I didn't care; that's as deep as it goes. My step-mom, Stefani, was nodding furiously along with my dad, Mike, and my mom, Charen. She kept repeating herself. The poor dear didn't have much intellect, so forming complex sentences was just a few miles out of her grasp.

"Andrea, are you listening to me?" Stefani said, in her shrill, high-soprano. She sounded like rusting whistle, except she had a lisp.

"Um no, not particularly." I said, leaning back in my chair. My mom bit her lip to keep from bursting out with laughter. My dad looked like his eyes were going to pop out from under his heavy eyebrows, but I didn't care.

"We think it would be a could change for you if you went with your brother on tour." Mike said. Charen's eyes widened. Apparently, the 'we' he was referring to didn't regard her opinion. She looked as misinformed as I felt, but at least I wasn't alone. "You and your brother hardly spend any time together. Wouldn't it be nice to get the chance?"

"We don't talk, dad. He's too cool, and I'm too indifferent. It's always been that way, and you know that."

"She's right." Charen nodded. As small as the gesture was, it made me feel like I wasn't so alone in a room full of people. I was waiting for Kennedy to protest, to jump off of the counter where he sat, and wave his arms. That's what I wanted to do. I didn't want to go anywhere with him.

"Ken, what do you think?" Stefani asked, fluttering her eyelashes. Any form of sweet talking she was trying to put to use was only making her argument that much more laughable.

"Um, it's Kennedy, first of all. And second? She can come if she wants to."

"For the record," I said, holding my hand in the air, "I don't want."

"Well, that's too bad." Mike laughed humorlessly, "Because you're family, and you're going to like eachother, damn it!"

"Throwing down the gauntlet." I smirked, and turned to my step-mom. "Go ahead, Stef. It's your turn to repeat what he just said."

"I'm independent!" she shouted, "I don't need your father to tell me what to do. I am my own woman!"

"Well, not 100 percent." Kennedy shrugged, "I don't think the fake tits qualify."

Stefani stormed up to her bedroom, wailing about how the teenagers were just so mean to me. Mike followed, half-yelling his sympathy to her, while he tried not to drown in her hormonal wake. Charen stayed with us, laughing quietly to herself.

"I've taught you well." she said, patting my shoulder. "But do you two really hate eachother so much that you can't even spend the summer together?"

"No." We said at the same time.

Kennedy ignored the 'ladies first' rule, and continued. I sat back in my chair, and waited to hear his arguement. "The guys will love her like a little sister. We've got extra room, we need a guitar tech, and she knows exactly what she's doing. We're not going to babysit her, so maybe the change will do her some good."

"I'd love to have Andy come back a little less sarcastic," my mom sighed, "But she is quite the entertainer. What do you say, kid? Will you make your mother happy?"

"Fine." I shrugged, "But if Stefani asks, I'm only leaving because her spray-on tanning lotion gives me hives."