Book Half Unread

"You guys are such a great crowd! This last song is sort of an oldie I wrote for someone special a long time ago called "Circles," Alex spoke into his microphone. He glanced to stage right at me and flashed a smile before Jack struck the first chord to the song. I was leaning against a metal column beside Brooks who was also watching their set. Smiling faintly, I sang along, eyes closed. Naively, I always wanted to believe that "Circles" was written for me. Being someone's muse always seemed so magical to me; to inspire someone to create a beautiful thing like music and art.

A nudge made me open my eyes. My gaze met the sight of an amused expression on Brooks's face. "What?" I asked, a confused smile on face.

"Nothing."

"Brooks, seriously."

"Just forget about it."

"Whatever," I laughed, tucking my hair behind my ear. I walked away just before the song was over to find Matt. I saw him talking to two people, one with blonde hair and the other was someone I remembered from the past. "Vincent!" Vincent Petrocelli was one of the guys' best friends. He did merchandise for them when they toured.

"Who- Aimee! Hey girl," he laughed and walked over, giving me a hug. "I didn't know you'd be here. This is crazy. Do the guys know you're here? They'll be psyched."

"Yeah, they know. It's good to see you again, Vinny. Don't you ride with the guys in their tour bus though?" I asked. I didn't see him at all when the boys picked me up.

"Yeah, but I rode with Mayday Parade this past drive; why?"

I shook my head. "No reason. Um, I wanted to buy a shirt-"

"I'm sure the guys will give you a shirt." He smiled at me and placed his hand on my head, ruffling my hair up a big. I scrunched my nose up a bit and laughed. I gave him one last hug before going to get towels. The guys had to have been soaking wet from sweat after that set.

"Baby-face!" I was enveloped in sweaty men, making me squirm. "How'd we do?" Droplets of Jack's sweat hit my cheek and nose and I felt like dying.

"Jack, get off! You're sticky, wet, and smelly," I gagged. "You dripped on me!"

Laughter merely left his lips as he let go of me, taking one of the towels I had in my arms. Leaning my head down, I sniffed my shoulder and sighed with a small smile. I didn't smell like poo; goody! Taking one of the towels I wiped the sweat from the spots on my face, handing the rest of the towels out to Rian and Zack.

"Thanks Aimee; always looking out for us," Rian said, grinning as he wiped his head, neck, and underarms.

Smiling, I shrugged. "No biggie. Where's Alex? I have a towel for him."

"Uh, I think he walked out back with a couple of people."

"Thanks, lug," I told him with a small laugh.

"Whatever, bug."

With one towel in hand, I left the side stage and went to the back room to see Alex sitting on the large white couch with Derek, Johnnie, Matt, and Vinny around him, but the person I really paid attention to was the all too familiar little blonde practically sitting on his lap. I felt it run through me; that pang of jealousy I had forgotten about had returned. Biting my lip, I calmly walked over.

"Nice show, Alex," I said, giving him a smile. A pair of arms snaking around his neck made me gnash my teeth, but I refused to look at her. "I got you a towel." I threw it to him before turning around and walking out. I could do this without making a scene. I was brought up to be proper. In no way was I going to claw her eyes out and feed them to the piranha as I so desperately wished.

"Hey Aims, they brought fourth meal!" I heard Jack yell. I slowly walked over to him with a smile on my face. "Aimee, hurry up; it's Taco Bell!"

I reached my hand in and took out a hard shell taco. "Thanks, Jack."

"No prob…lem- Aimee? What's going on? You look like you did when your goldfish died on Christmas."

"Jack, are Alex and Lisa together?"

"Why would you ask that?" He gave me a goofy look.

"Stop, just stop. No, no goofy faces, or warm smiles; I need to know Jack," I said, my voice slightly breaking.

He paused, seeming to fight with himself over something. "Don't cry, Aimee, but I heard him talking to her on the phone yesterday. They broke up the day before we left Maryland though. He said she was supposed to show up tonight, but I haven't seen her. Did you...?"

I couldn't believe it. Alex was still with Lisa when he and I shared that moment those weeks ago. Attempting to keep my mental stability intact, I found and pulled Jack's borrowed coat on and left with my taco in hand. I knocked on the bus door and the driver opened it. I kindly handed him the taco and he took it graciously. Quickly, I scrounged up all of my belongings and scribbled four quick notes, placing them in Jack, Rian, Zack, and Matt's bunks. I gave the driver a hug and told him the polite necessities before getting off.

Many of the kids from the crowd tonight were already outside; girls flocking and begging for photos and boys trying to casually have a conversation before also asking for photos with the band member of their choices. I shook my head and found a clan of teenagers who were off by themselves. Minutes into talking with these grungy, smoker teens, one of them gave me the number of a good taxi service.

Needless to say, I called and I was soon at the bus transit and home at the dorms. Throughout this little journey of mine I received over sixty text messages and well beyond thirty missed calls. I just shut it off after a while. They were all from the same three people: Jack, Zack, and Rian. I knew I shouldn't have just ignored them, but I couldn't speak to them. After all, I had nothing to say. I ended up crawling my way to my dorm room and into the shower before getting into bed. That trip was grotesquely long and I had classes in exactly three hours.

Maybe if I kept the boys out of my life I could move on and I wouldn't have to deal with the heartache anymore. It did seem that I was always hurt some how whenever they were around. I wrapped my arms around Jack's warm coat. Even though I wore it all day, it smelled so strongly of him.

Each party would be better without the other.