Twilight

Bill's P.O.V. (A.N.-talking is in German)

"Bill," Tom huffed from the couch of our suite. I could feel his eyes on me as I stared out the window towards to bay. "She is fine! She is with her friends."

"I know that," I cut him off quick in a colder tone than wanted.

"Then why are you staring at the window like a brainless zombie?"

"Because," I turned to glare at his identical face. "Because..."

"Because what baby brother?" Tom rose an eyebrow, an annoyed look was on his face.

"Why," I sighed loudly and dropped myself on the lounge chair next to me. "Why did she go with him? Everything was going great!" My face dropped to my heads that were supported by my knees. "We even kissed!"

Tom grunted across the room from me, I heard his annoyed sighs as well. Its been a few days and I haven't heard from her either. No calls or texts from her, something must have happened! Tom, Georg, and Gustav won't let me go to her house. They keep telling me that if she wanted me there, she would have told me so. That and they fear for her boyfriend.

Kitzia's P.O.V.

I laid on my small daybed looking up at the ceiling, Bittersweet Memories by Bullet for my Valentine rang in my ears. My mind kept replaying my kiss with Bill, Skyler ruining it and forcing me to go with him, the fight with Lucas, then Dwight. He saved me, I'm grateful for that. When he kissed me afterward I felt disgusted. I was disgusted with myself. I've been with a guy for two years then go off and kiss a guy who I don't even know that long! Something was wrong with me. Why did I do it? Why was I so star stuck that I completely lost sight of everything? I hated myself for doing it, I hated myself for liking it. I did like it, didn't I? "FUCK MY LIFE!" I shouted at the top of my lungs!

"What the fuck?!" my brother shouted from the other side of my bedroom door.

"Bite me!" I shouted back and rolled over. Burying my face in my pillow, I let out one last scream. I'm so immature, don't you think?

"Kitzia, keep it down!" my mom burst into my room. "What's wrong, mi'ja?" I heard some foot steps getting closer and lastly the side of me sank in as another weight fell onto my bed.

"Fuck my life," I whimpered, barely making any sense with the pillow under me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she chuckled softly, her hand stroking my straightened hair.

"Bill ruined everything," I turned my head to face her.

"How did he ruin everything," she mocked, her hands moved the hairs out of my face so we could see each other clearly.

"Ever since he walked in," I stopped to sigh. "Everything has changed."

She stayed quiet, her mind was racing around as she tried to figure out what to say. No, I didn't hell her about any of the kisses. But something inside of me told me that she already knew. "You are beginning to question your feelings for Dwight. Aren't you?"

I just turned my head so I faced the door, not wanting to see her eyes. Her eyes always got to me.

"You have feelings for Bill don't you," she asked, but I didn't respond. "Well, you didn't expect to have Dwight forever?" I turned to face her now, somewhat angered by her words and also curious as to what she would say next. "You are just fifteen, what do know about love? Yes, you guys have been together for the past two years, but you honestly couldn't say that he was 'the one'. Both of you have just begun to open your eyes. People change and their way of thinking changes as the years pass."

"I just really love Dwight," I told her straight. "He's always been there for me, he's more than just a friend. We have all these great memories and feelings. But now with Bill in the picture," I stopped, unsure of what to say. "Everything is different," my eyes teared up a little. "It's like he wiped my slate clean with him."

"Those precious memories with Dwight will always be there in your heart," her finger gently made contact with my heart, "and in your mind," then she touched my forehead. "Bill will never take them away. What you had with Dwight is special, but maybe its time you make special memories with someone else."

"I can't do that to him!" I protested. "How can you expect me to drop it all for Bill?!"

"I didn't," she chuckled softly and stood up to leave. "You did."

"What?" I laid there dumbfounded as she left.

Was my mom right? I didn't drop everything for Bill. My mind went back to recall every memory I had of Bill. Whenever he called me to hang out I'd ditch all my plans and went with him and Tom. She was right, I did drop it all for him. But why didn't Dwight or anyone say anything?

"Hey cous'," my cousin Deborah's voice sounded from my door. Her short figure leaned against the door frame. We used to look alike so much as kids but now we went our own way. She was a girly girl that loved rap, I was a tomboy that loved rock music.

"Hey Deb," I sighed and rolled over onto my back so I could stare at the ceiling.

"What's up?" she laid sat on my big lime green beanbag chair. "Heard the convo' you just had with your mom."

"You're so nosey," I stuck my tongue out at her with a smile.

"Maybe you should take a chance with 'Bill'," she loved making fun of his name. She was the only person to know about EVERYTHING that was going on between us.

"That's like saying if you would take out Miguel Angel of your life and trade him in for another guy!" I glared at him.

"Well a little to late," she patted her 7 week pregnant stomach that didn't show.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"How will you ever know if Dwight really is the one for you if you don't try and see? Date other people, if he really is the one for you then no one will be good enough. How else will you be totally sure?"

"I don't want to take the chance, Deb." I looked at her, our similar eyes met. "What if things don't work out and I lose him forever."

She looked at me straight, her crossed leg was shaking as she prepared herself, "What if they do?"

Bill's P.O.V.

Its been two weeks and I haven't heard from her. I'm going crazy! Everything I do or see all leads back to her! Why can't I get her out of my mind?! It's driving me crazy! Why won't she just call me? A text! Anything!

"Bill!" Tom smacked me, bring me back to our hotel room. All the guys had their eyes on me.

"Bill," Gustav tried to reason with me, "we are leaving tomorrow morning. It's over. We are going back to Germany and everything will go back to normal."

"I'm not leaving without seeing her first!" I jumped off the couch and rushed to my room in search for my cellphone. I started throwing my sheets around and everything in sight as I got really desperate to find it.

"Bill!" Gustav, Georg and Tom shouted.

"Leave me alone! I'm going to find it!" I shouted back.

Kitzia's P.O.V.

Silent tears slid down my face, my lips danced, music played in my ears, and I was laying on my bed. I didn't know what was wrong with me right now. I felt alone for the first time in a long, long time. Inevitable by Shakira was playing on repeat for a while now. It was the only song that really did get me and how I was feeling. I broke up with Dwight last night, I didn't feel it was fair for him. He told me it was alright that we could work through it. I knew better, I didn't want to hurt him. We agreed it would be more of a break, but I don't know what to believe.

'So what if you can see the darkest side of me', my cellphone rang to me, 'No one will ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe it's not the real me.' Not ever bothering to look at who it was, I just answered the phone. "Hello." my voice sounded dead, dead like my heart and soul.

"Kitzia!" Bill's voice made my eyes shoot open wide and my heart try to break out of my rib cage.

"Ha-a-a-alo." I stuttered, not knowing what to do or say.

"What's wrong, liebe?" his voice softened up to a concerned tone.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Look," he sighed. "We are leaving tomorrow morning. Why don't we hang out? One last time before I'm gone. What do you think?"

I didn't respond right away. Was this the chance I needed? The one to see if it was all just in my mind or if I really had feelings for Bill. This is exactly what I need! "Ja, sure Bill." I sat up and stood up. "When are you free?"

His little cheer of joy made me chuckle, "I'm on my way! Bye liebe!" And the line went dead.

Yes, totally FML.