Trying Escape the Evitable
Prologue
Well I can’t really tell you when was the first time I saw Michael, or what my very first impression was. I only have one memory of that. A weird one in which I told myself, he’s not for you, forget about him. All that soon changed of course, if not, I wouldn’t be writing this down. Maybe I’m a few months behind, or maybe I’m a few years ahead. Most people would write the whole story after the whole drama has passed and the story is in fact a long tale. Some write as they go along, like a diary in the making. I’m doing both. A lot has happened since I first saw him, yet I still have 4 years of school to figure out the ending. Even if I only talk to him online and never see him in person again, I know something is bound to happen. Why am I writing this documentary? I honestly don’t know, I guess I was bored and I maybe though it would be an interesting story, a hidden adventure I could recap, reading it years after I’ve finished high school. I hope I can pull it off. I made a diary of Felix, a whole notebook, with entries and dates and recorded dreams. I wish now I’d done one about Michael. Too late now. I had decided not to. How in handy it would come now.
1, 039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours is a really good album. The song Paper Lanterns, I’ve discovered, best relates to my situation. All the songs on that album can relate a lot to this documentary. Listen to it, it’s really good. Really old, yet, heart warming days of the early band. I can feel it.
Anyway, I’m on a sailboat, my dad cranking the wench above my hatch as I write, we’re sailing. Back up the Bay by Turkey Point. I haven’t stepped on land for 5 days. It’s the summer, we’re just took a cruise down the bay. We’re heading home now. And then it’s with my mom. I feel like I haven’t spent any time at her house at all this summer. It makes me sad. I was with her for 2 weeks in Europe and then a week with my dad recovering and then a few days with my mom. But the whole family was here and spent most of the nights in the new apartment with Daniel in Boca. Now here I am on the boat. I haven’t vegged out at her house like we used to do on school weekends, in pajamas all day, just the two of us. And now I only have a good four weeks left.
The summer is a break from the constant chaos and the countless ‘I could’ve, I would’ve, I should’ve, I wish, but if, if only, what if’’s of everyday life that rattle my brain. And I know the pressures only going to build. I’m going to high school. My friend already knows what she going to wear on the first day of school. My other friend can’t wait till school starts. And I thought I was weird. I couldn’t wait to ditch Arvida myself. The last time I saw Kara at Killian, I left the school that night with a smile plastered across my face. I was happy, I was jumping. I almost bear hugged my poor cat. My dad even noticed I was happy. I locked myself in my room that night, as I usually do, but that night I wished to have that feeling hammering my heart forever. I wish I could always be that happy and joyful, and dance all night.
At that moment I was convinced that high school was going to be fun. I specifically said to my dad, “High school is so much fun.” I hope I’m right. I hope everyone’s right. If not I hope everything comes out all right. Even if it’s not what I wanted or expected, as long as everyone including myself is happy, I think I just might live. As Billie Joe sings, It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right…I hope you had the time of your life. A very clichéd saying I think, in a good way a mean, cause it’s true. Very true. And I bet every green day fan believes in it. Like me.
1, 039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours is a really good album. The song Paper Lanterns, I’ve discovered, best relates to my situation. All the songs on that album can relate a lot to this documentary. Listen to it, it’s really good. Really old, yet, heart warming days of the early band. I can feel it.
Anyway, I’m on a sailboat, my dad cranking the wench above my hatch as I write, we’re sailing. Back up the Bay by Turkey Point. I haven’t stepped on land for 5 days. It’s the summer, we’re just took a cruise down the bay. We’re heading home now. And then it’s with my mom. I feel like I haven’t spent any time at her house at all this summer. It makes me sad. I was with her for 2 weeks in Europe and then a week with my dad recovering and then a few days with my mom. But the whole family was here and spent most of the nights in the new apartment with Daniel in Boca. Now here I am on the boat. I haven’t vegged out at her house like we used to do on school weekends, in pajamas all day, just the two of us. And now I only have a good four weeks left.
The summer is a break from the constant chaos and the countless ‘I could’ve, I would’ve, I should’ve, I wish, but if, if only, what if’’s of everyday life that rattle my brain. And I know the pressures only going to build. I’m going to high school. My friend already knows what she going to wear on the first day of school. My other friend can’t wait till school starts. And I thought I was weird. I couldn’t wait to ditch Arvida myself. The last time I saw Kara at Killian, I left the school that night with a smile plastered across my face. I was happy, I was jumping. I almost bear hugged my poor cat. My dad even noticed I was happy. I locked myself in my room that night, as I usually do, but that night I wished to have that feeling hammering my heart forever. I wish I could always be that happy and joyful, and dance all night.
At that moment I was convinced that high school was going to be fun. I specifically said to my dad, “High school is so much fun.” I hope I’m right. I hope everyone’s right. If not I hope everything comes out all right. Even if it’s not what I wanted or expected, as long as everyone including myself is happy, I think I just might live. As Billie Joe sings, It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right…I hope you had the time of your life. A very clichéd saying I think, in a good way a mean, cause it’s true. Very true. And I bet every green day fan believes in it. Like me.