How Was I Supposed To Know?

Alanna

When the rain calmed down and Brian left to get ready for the last show of the tour, I did what I always did when I was alone. I wished. Wished this feeling of happiness didn't feel so limited. I couldn't help the dread or the guilt. Mainly I couldn't help the fear. Not just of Will or Dimitri but of Matt. Leading him on when I'm so clearly falling for Brian isn't fair to either one of them.

The right thing- and the most terrifying- was to tell Matt that we were over. He wouldn't take it well, for all he knew we were doing fine. Getting ready to leave the bus to go to the stadium I made sure the black jacket I was wearing, Brian's jacket actually, was covering my body. I checked my lips to make sure they weren't swollen from kissing and headed for the door.

It opened before me slowly, setting me on edge. Matt poked his head in and my anxiety lowered. "You scared me." I tried to laugh but it didn't sound right. He remained silent, not reacting. "Are you nervous for the show?" I felt my stomach growing uneasy, I wished he at least said something. At last after he let my question settle he drew in a breath of air.

"I was about to ask the same thing." his voice was steady but reminded me of a storm as it grew stronger even while it was seemingly calm. Matt's bandanna was tied neatly around his head, his hat resting on top, ready for a performance.

"I hardly ever get nervous..... is something wrong, Matt?" He winced as I said his name, the only thing that showed he was listening to me. He stared at Brian's jacket that was big on my body. "That's not mine."

I swallowed hard but tried not to let it show. "It's Brian's.... I was cold earlier and he let me use it no biggie."

"You've been with him a lot lately. There are even times when the two of you just disappear, for hours on end. What do you two do?" He removed his glasses to let me see the raw anger in his hazel eyes.

Terrified of being alone as his fury rose, I decided to play dumb. "We just tal-" I couldn't finish because the moment I tried to say "talk", Matt threw the contents of my bag against the small closet behind me. I shook with absolute horror, Matt was a strong man and could easily beat me to a pulp. It was stupid to think he was still in the dark.

"Don't even begin to fuckin' lie to me!" he roared, looking ready to hit something or me but holding it in.

Unable to keep my tears in I felt one slide down my cheek. "Ok....alright....you're right, I'm sorry you should know." I wrapped the jacket tighter around myself feeling stronger when I inhaled Brian's scent. " I'm in love with him.... and I realized that I can't be with you anymore Matt."

A beat of silence passed. Matt's face was easy to read. There was obvious anger, betrayal and total hate in his eyes alone. His mouth was pinched in disgust, which though I knew was coming didn't hurt any less. "Figures that would happen, a cheap whore from a strip club thinking she could have it all." he spat. I raised my hand to slap him but he caught it and kept a firm grip.

"How long did you think you could fuckin' play me, huh?!"

While I tried to hit him to release me, he grabbed my wrist and pushed me hard against the same closet were my things lay scattered on the floor. Matt's body was heavy on mine as he made it harder for me to run away.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" I mumbled as I still cried, my wrists were being pressed so hard into the wood it felt like my bone was close to breaking.

"Oh so that makes everything alright?! "Cause you didn't mean for it to happen? We should have just left you and your whore friend at that club."

"Leave Layla out of this! You're just pissed off. Take it out on me not her!" I yelled as he removed his hand from my wrist and brought it down fiercely on the wood, inches from my face. "You think this is pissed?! Little girl you have no fucking idea what pissed is." He growled about to hit me for real this time.

Brian

"I hate the last show of the tour it's always a bummer not to do this all the time." Zack grumbled as he played with his black and red 6661 guitar. He was gonna rock a white button down shirt and black pants for the show like usual.

"You just hate having to be in the studio and writing because we have to be sober while we do it." Johnny called from the bathroom in the locker area, fixing his Mohawk.

Zack paused, thinking about it then smiled widely, "Yeah I hate that part too." Jimmy, Johnny and I laughed loudly since we all knew his pain.

I looked down at my white V-neck and black jeans, suddenly overwhelmed by an emotion I wasn't sure of. "Hey Jim do you know where Matt went? He's been gone forever." Zack let his fingers glide up and down the fret board.

Looking up from my own guitar at Jimmy, I waited for the answer. "Uhhh he said he was goin' to the bus for something. He said he'd be back before the show though so no worries." he shrugged tapping out a beat on his thigh. Sighing I set my guitar down against the wall and stood up.

"I'm gonna talk to the girls, I'll see you guys in a bit." I stretched my arms out then walked over to the room down the hall that smelled way better than ours.

"Brian!" Riann greeted, happily throwing her arms around my middle, hugging like she wouldn't see me again. "Hey shorty, you look hot." I kissed her cheek like the platonic friends we are. "Gracias, gracias." she giggled, pulling me in from the hall and letting me sit on their couch.

Aliyah was adjusting her hair with a funny look on her face, a look that read confusion. Layla burst out of the showers with a towel around her body and her hair wrapped in a white towel. "Ok I wasn't expecting you here but hi." she smiled wryly, removing the cloth from her hair as she began shaking out the dry curls. "Hey Layla, where's-"

"I don't know where Alanna is, she said she was on her way from the bus about," she glanced at her phone that rested on the counter among the various beauty products," twenty minutes ago."

"That's weird, Matt left to the bus at about the same time." I felt my eyebrows furrow.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out what they could possibly be doing." Riann giggled again, only this time it got on my nerves.

"Somehow I doubt that.... I'll go check on them, I'll be back." I stood up and waved to them, waiting until I got in the hall to start running to the bus.

After navigating the fucking maze of the halls I made my way outside, where a fine mist made everything go foggy. The bus stood dark 20 feet away except for a dim light in the back where the girls hang out and where I last saw Alanna.

As I made my way closer I saw the outline of two people clearly having an argument. My stomach filled with dread as I climbed up the stairs and heard Matt yelling.

"You think this is pissed?! Little girl you have no fucking idea what pissed is!" I ran as fast as I could down the mess of the bus and burst through the door to see Matt with his fist raised, about to strike. Alanna had her eyes tightly shut in preparation for a blow. Matt whirled around and almost drove his fist into my face but I beat him to it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you that you would hit a woman?!" I boomed, adrenaline making me super alert and ready for a fight. Matt groaned on the floor. Turning my attention to Alanna I couldn't help but smile as she was unhurt.

"Brian." she breathed, hugging me tightly. I hugged back just as fiercely, refusing to let go of the material of my jacket. "We have to stop meeting like this." I sighed in her hair, referring to when we first met.

A sharp tug at my shirt brought me back to reality, Matt was a tough guy and one punch wasn't gonna take him out. I pushed Alanna away and turned around into a fist I knew was ready to meet my face. Ignoring the throb on my cheek bone, I slammed my body into his trying to get him on his back.

Furious, he shoved me and threw another punch, I moved out of the way and got him clean in the mouth with a left hook. Wiping the blood from his lip, Matt grabbed my shoulders and kneed me hard in the stomach. Coughing and trying to catch my breath, I backed away watching as Alanna tried to stay as far from Matt as she could.

Matt was still in the way of the door and there was no way I wanted Alanna anywhere near this fight. Acting quickly, I rushed Matt and tackled him to the floor, using my body weight to keep him there.

"Get out of here!" I called hoping she'd run and thankfully she did.

When she was out of sight, Matt used all his power to get me off. I stood up and watched in satisfaction as his lip was still trickling blood. "You were supposed to be my best friend, Brian!" he yelled and landed a fist in my eye. "I know and I'm sorry!"

He didn't expect my apology since the knee that repeatedly got rammed in my gut stopped.

"I didn't plan on falling for her it just happened! Seriously Matt, how was I supposed to know that the girl of my dreams would be at a strip club?" I wiped at the cut on my cheek that was no doubt bleeding as well.

"I can't fucking believe you Brian." was all he said as he sighed and sat on the floor. Catching my breath I realized that the previous fury had subsided and was losing quickly to betrayal. "I said some horrible things to her that I don't regret but I know I will one day." he rubbed his jaw which was starting to discolor thanks to me.

"I'm sorry Matt and even though you don't hate me now you will soon." I remained standing in case he would get a boost of energy and try to fight again.

"Oh make no mistake, bitch I hate you already but I have to admit I did see this coming, You guys were always together and would look at each other in ways that made me want to puke." Matt laughed without humor.

"Shit we still have a show huh?" he grunted after a moment of silence. I nodded and he began to get up slowly then he looked at me. "You look like shit dude."

I laughed, "You don't look to great either asshole."

"Alright, let's do the show for the kids....but after the show you'll still be on my shit list." he warned. I raised my hands in surrender.

Matt rubbed his jaw again, "Fuck Bri, did anyone ever tell you, you have a mean left hook?" We laughed while we evaluated our injuries, we've been friends too long to let a woman break us apart and while I still loved that woman and would fight my best friend for her, that best friend is also my brother and band mate. He knew I would never hurt him like this if I had a choice. And the truth is I never had a choice to fall for Alanna. I just did.

"So we're ok?" I asked as we stepped off the bus. Matt looked at me sideways. "Nope......but we will be. And since you're going to be with Alanna I'm sorry I almost hit her."

"Don't tell me shithead tell her!" I growled.

"I will! I'm telling you first though, I was just mad. C'mon dude let's go kick some ass with our music then we can beat each other up later." Matt smirked and punched my shoulder.

xXx

"Hey motherfuckers!! This is the last show of the tour and we're gonna kick your ass tonight!!" M.Shadows screamed, glad his signature glasses covered the black eye he had forming thanks to his lead guitarist.

Synyster Gates wasn't so lucky but the marks on his face wouldn't be noticeable until the next day.

The concert went smoothly even when the boys played "Scream" and Alanna was in the presence of the two men who were fighting the last time she saw them. In disbelief that they weren't tearing each other to shreds, Alanna danced robotically but when she caught the eye of Synyster Gates she saw that everything would be alright and that was good enough for her.

The real problem came after the show, when the crowd was leaving and the guys joined each other on stage for a group hug, letting the girls be part of it too, they walked together from to the back and heard a startling voice ring out.

"Sorry guys but the little whore won't be staying with you much longer."