This Time, I Mean It

The next day as I walked along to the gallery my head was spinning. Bob and I had spoken on the phone for so long last night, we’d just talked and talked and he told me how much he missed me and could I come out to see him next week. Of course I would, I’d mention it to Kitty today. I’d help her out over the next week, she was probably going to need me what with the news she’d had about Dan but I just wished she’d come to her senses and just let him get on with it, I felt sorry for the guy but Kitty was meant to be with Gerard and this was her chance.

I hadn’t spoken to Bob about Dan, I thought that was up to Kitty to do, she’d probably call Gerard up and tell him what she’d decided, hopefully Gerard would understand, he was a pretty understanding guy and may be in a while it would happen for them.

I hoped Kitty was in a better mood today, I’d found it hard yesterday, I’d practically ran the place single handed and we’d had extra customers.

But the gallery door was locked which meant that Kitty hadn’t got up yet. What the fuck was wrong with her just lately?

I let myself in but the gallery phone was already ringing and I just had the awful feeling that it was going to be another one of those days.

I picked up.

“Liz!” said Gerard in an urgent sounding voice.

“Hi Gerard, you OK?” I said to him.

“Fine but…I’ve been trying to get hold of Kitty, she’s not answering her mobile and I’ve sent a couple of texts too, is she OK?” He said.

“Well, she was pretty tired yesterday, she’s probably just having a lie-in. I’ll just call her,” I said taking the phone and going to the bottom of the stairs in the back room.

“Kitty!” I shouted upstairs, covering the mouthpiece so that Gerard couldn’t hear my bellowing voice.

“Its OK Liz, I’m awake,” I could hear. “What is it? I’m getting up now, I can be dressed and downstairs in twenty minutes.”

“There’s a phone call down here, its Gerard,” I said.

Then there was silence.

“Kitty can you hear me. Gerard is on the phone,” I said starting to get slightly annoyed with her so climbed the stairs to her bedroom.

“Liz tell him I’m not here,” I heard.

“What?” I said having reached her door. I was confused, why on earth wouldn’t she speak to Gerard?

”I said tell him I’m not here,” she said getting impatient with me. This was wrong and I felt awful.

I didn’t want to do it but I knew I had to. “Gerard she must have gone out without me realising,” i lied and opened the door to see Kitty lying there. She’d pissed me off and I hoped my face showed it. I hated lying like this, it was so unnecessary. “I’ll get her to call you when she comes in, that OK?” I said. “I’ll let her know, how’s Bob?” I said then smiled as Gerard told me he was just fine but was tired because he’d been on the phone ages to someone late last night. We both knew it was me.

“That’s great. Take care Gerard, bye,” I said then I turned to Kitty, annoyed.

“What the fuck are you playing at?” I said, I couldn’t believe this was happening.

”I…I don’t want to speak to him right now,” Kitty said, “I’ve written him a letter, explaining.”

“Explaining what?” I asked entering her bedroom.

“Explaining about Dan,” She said glancing away from me. She looked ashamed about something.

“Oh. You finally came to your senses,” I said, hopefully she was going to speak to Gerard and to tell him all about Dan and what she was doing.

She sighed, “Yes but I feel awful for Dan, he needs me here for a while longer, just to get him settled and when he’s strong enough I’ll tell him all about me and Gerard.” She said.

“Why don’t you just call Gerard up and explain?” I said to her, this time in a gentler tone, it must be difficult I realised, your fiancee hospitalised and the one you love not even knowing anything about him.

“I don’t know why Liz,” She said swinging her legs out of the bed. “I just feel its better this way, he’ll get the letter tomorrow and then we can speak a little more openly about it. I can’t speak to him before then.”

“That’s OK, but won’t he expect to hear from you sometime today?” I said looking at her but then I realised what she wanted me to do “But you want me to stall him, that it?” I said.

“Do you mind? It’s just for today and I’ll probably visit Dan at the hospital anyway.”

“OK,” I said, sighing. “But get your butt out of that bed, you need to get to the suppliers at some point too, I’m not doing everything round here again today,” I said putting my hand out onto her arm and shaking my head at the same time.

“I know, you’ve been great and… you need to tell me about Bob,” She said.

“I’ll tell you at lunchtime. How about when you get back from the suppliers and before you go to visit Dan we get us some pizza and sit in the back room, like we used to do together and I’ll tell you all about him,” I said. I couldn’t wait to tell her all about Bob and to tell her…to tell her I loved him.

“It’s a date,” she said going to the bathroom.

**

“Gerard’s called again,” I said to Kitty watching her come into the gallery with a couple of bags from the suppliers.

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him that I forgot to give you the earlier message from him and that you’d gone out to the suppliers and then was visiting a friend in hospital, he asked who but I said it was nobody that he knew. He’s sent you a few messages and called your mobile Kitty, he’s desperate to speak to you,” I said going to take one of the bags from her then we both headed off to the room at the back.

“I’m desperate to speak to him too but as I’ve said, I don’t want to talk to him until he reads what I have to tell him. Please understand,” I said to her dumping the bag onto the table.

“I can’t see why you won’t speak to him,” I said turning to her, I really couldn’t understand her reasoning behind this.

But she didn’t answer me.

“I’ve ordered pizza, it should be here in ten minutes,” I said beginning to put some of the items away.

Still she didn’t answer me so I decided to change the subject onto something I was just desparate to talk about.

Bob.

“I’m going to visit Bob next week,” I said going to the fridge and getting out some flavoured water.

“So, its serious then?” She said looking at me with her huge blue eyes.

”I think so,” I said.

“Tell me all about it, I’ve been dying to find out. You’ve always liked him haven’t you?” She said to me as I watched her pour out the water.

“I think so, that first time I came out to see you, you remember he was an absolute madman, he was wild but gorgeous at the same time. He couldn’t look at me while he was talking,” I said sitting down to the table to join her. “I thought it was because he didn’t like me but he told me it was because he liked me he couldn’t look at me. As soon as I left you all after that weekend I knew I liked him but thought I didn’t stand a chance with him. He’s entirely different to me, totally.” I said thinking about him.

Just thinking about him brought a smile to my face.

“He’s not good around women,” She said to me. “He gets a little shy, its hard to explain, he either gets shy or he gets all stupid, like a cover up for his shyness. So…when you both went out the other night, did you and he talk?” She said.

”We talked for hours and he finally told me he’d regretted there not being something between us ages ago and that if he’d only said something, he said he’s wasted too much time. I went back to his hotel room,” I said then I felt my face burn, thinking about it.

“You’re blushing,” Kitty said then she laughed at me. “It’s been ages since you blushed like that,” she said.

”Its been ages to have anything to blush about,” I replied. “But we didn’t go the whole way, you know,” I said feeling my face grow even redder, “I want to take things a little slower and so does he,” he said.

“Oh come off it, you should just have got in there and shagged his brains out, I bet he wanted to too,” she said to me, her face full of fun and laughter, it had been ages since she’d looked like that.

“Kitty! Shut up will you,” I said. “I’m serious about him, it’s not like with the others.”

“I’m sorry, I really want you to be happy,” She said as we heard the gallery door ping and a voice call out, “Pizza!”

**

”Hi Liz,” he said. His voice even just did it for me, slow and sensual, like his lovemaking. I was goingto have to stop this, I couldn’t stop thinking about him, he was just there, tucked away in the back of my mind the whole time, I couldn’t even finish my pizza for thinking about him.

Was I lovesick.

“Hi Bob, guess what? I’m definitely coming out to see you next week. I just can’t wait.”

“Me neither, its going to be a long week,” said Bob.

It was indeed, a very long week but hopefully Kitty will be able to manage by the time I left then I could spend time with Bob.

I just wanted to be with him.

**

But the next day was even more of the same, I thought Kitty was perking up, especially after our chat but no, the gallery was locked up and there was still no signs of her. I really didn’t like the look of this and why she’d written to Gerard to tell him about Dan was beyond me. Apparently she’d given Gerard and ultimatum. She’d told him she was engaged to Dan but he’d been in an accident and needed to be with him for awhile and would he wait for her. If he didn’t want to wait for her, if he didn’t understand that situation then he wasn’t to contact her and right up until last night when I’d left he hadnt contacted her and this surprised me, Gerard was so understanding, he’d wait for Kitty I just knew it. So what was he playing at?

“Kitty, come on, get up,” I said going into her bedroom once more. This was becoming a regular occurrence and I didn’t like it. “Stop moping around in there, you need to get up, that guy is coming about showing his work in half an hour and you promised to talk to him,” I said.

“Just coming,” said Kitty but she rolled over and fell straight back to sleep, she looked dreadful, like she’d hardly slept.

“You’re not, you’re going back to sleep,” I said, “now get your lazy ass out of that bed, you’ve got work to do. How are you going to get things done when I’m in California?” I said feeling slightly sorry for Kitty because Gerard hadn’t contacted her but at the same time despondent because Kitty could quite easily call Gerard up on the phone and they could talk and sort this thing out, I was sure of it but I needed Kitty to snap out of this current mood, I was going away next week to see Bob and I wouldn’t be there to keep an eye on her. I knew she was going through a tough time what with all that was going on with Dan. I felt sorry for Dan too but Kitty really needed to think about herself, about what was right for her. Gerard was right for her. I just wondered what the fuck he was playing at, not contacting her.

May be he didn’t love Kitty as much as we all thought, impossible though the thought was because everyone that knew them had thought they were inseparable.

I hoped that Kitty had worded the letter to Gerard OK and that Gerard hadn’t got the wrong end of the stick. May be I would talk to Bob about it when I met up with him.

Bob.

I couldn’t wait to be with him and to feel his lip ring…

“I think I’m going to throw up,” said Kitty and with that she rushed out of the bed, half naked and into the bathroom where I could hear the sound of retching. I heard the flush of the toilet and then water running into the sink.

Kitty emerged looking much better than she had a moment ago.

“You OK?” I said to her.

“I think so, I’m just over tired and shocked because he didn’t contact me. I was sure he would, may be he doesn’t love me as much as I thought he did after all. I think he’s changed Liz, we’re probably better off apart, so there’s no use me moping around thinking about it, I have a business to run, pass me those trousers will you,” she said indicating a pair of smart black trousers that were slung over the chair.

I passed them to her but I didn’t like the look on Kitty’s face. She did look tired, pale and had dark circles, she probably hadn’t slept properly and I knew she hadn’t eaten that well since this thing with Dan, everything was taking its toll. May be I should put off my visit to Bob, just until Kitty had got over the shock of Dan’s accident and the shock that Gerard didn’t really want her after all.

I was sure that Bob would understand.