This Time, I Mean It

I’d been on the telephone to Jerry the student for ages, I’d made arrangements on behalf of Kitty, I just hoped she was going to be OK about it. For me, it was perfect; before I knew it I’d be on the plane, going to see Bob.

I couldn’t wait but knew I still had to tell Kitty what I’d arranged so I picked up my cell, lay back on the bed and called her up.

“Hello,” She answered at the other end.

“Its only me, just to say that Jerry will come round tomorrow to visit you, just after lunch time to talk about what you want from him. That OK?” I said hoping upon hope that it would be just fine.

”That’s fine Liz. I don’t remember much about him when he showed his stuff.” She said. She must have remembered him, he was lively, chatty, enthusiastic. Its what the gallery needed and she must know it deep down.

“You had your mind elsewhere, that’s why, may be with a certain Mr. W,” I said. “Anyway, I’m going to bed, I just know I’m going to have to come round early in the morning to get you up to meet Mrs Armstrong.” Remembering that Adrienne was coming to talk to Kitty. I had to get her up for their meeting, plus I wanted to see Adrienne Armstrong again.

“I’ll be up, it’s about time I sorted myself out and stopped relying on you so much,” She said then laughed, a sound I’d not heard in a while.

“See you in the morning Kitty, night.” I said, worrying about her as usual, I felt guilty leaving her to cope on her own with Dan and with the gallery but I felt this was my time, my time with Bob and I didn’t want anything getting in the way.

“Yeah, night Liz.” I heard her say as I turned to my alarm clock, knowing I’d have to set it extra early to get to the gallery to get her up. Then I snuggled down into my bed, my lonely bed and hoped that soon I wouldn’t be alone, I’d be with Bob, his huge arms wrapped around me and I hoped it wouldn’t be too long.

**

Of course it was locked. She hadnt got up and got herself ready after all. What the fuck was she playing at? This was her career, her livelihood and she was throwing it all down the pan all because she couldn’t muster up the courage to talk to Gerard properly. I wanted to book my flights this evening, I just hoped I didn’t end up staying here sorting Kitty out.

It was time she pulled herself together I thought as I climbed the stairs to her bedroom. I stopped at the bedroom door and heard nothing. Just shook my head.

“You up?” I shouted, slightly annoyed and sure that she wouldn’t hear me, I’d have to go in and wake her, I could feel it. But I was wrong, as soon as I’d spoken she opened the door to me.

“Of course I am, I’m up, dressed and ready,” She said standing in front of me.

“My god, you’ve gone to town, you look amazing,” I said looking at her, she looked smartly dressed and had done her hair and make up to perfection like she’d always done.

“Thanks, I thought I’d put a little effort in, I’ve been wallowing in self pity for the past week or so, its time to pull myself out of it. I’ve even plucked my caterpillar eyebrows, see,” She said pushing her face towards me. I laughed.

“Actually I was going to tell you about those, you let yourself go this past couple of weeks, visiting the hospital and realising…realising that Gerard has changed his mind about your relationship. I had an awful thought last night Kitty, what if Gerard hadn’t got the letter after all?” I said and I had thought that, I’d woken during the night thinking that may have happened.

“You think he wouldn’t try ringing me again? He got the letter all right Liz, I gave him the ultimatum and he took it. Look, I don’t want to talk about him, please, don’t spoil my day.” She said going to her dressing table and reaching for a hairbrush.

“Fair enough,” I said putting up my hands, not wanting to mention it again but sure that Kitty was being overly stubborn in not contacting him. “We’ve still got half an hour before Adrienne comes, how about something to eat? Toast? You need to eat breakfast more often.” I said seeing how much weight Kitty had lost just lately.

“I know I do but…my stomach is weird this morning, probably nerves so…I’ll have an extra large lunch instead, promise.” She said looking at me but also knowing that probably wouldn’t happen, she ate like a bird sometimes.

**

Kitty was in the back room when the gallery door pinged and before I looked up I knew it had to be her and it was.

She was a beautiful woman, delicate boned with the most gorgeous hair. She was tiny.

“Hi, I was in yesterday,” she said to me, her dark eyes shining, her skin glowing healthily from the Californian sun, “I have an appointment with Kitty.”

“I’ll just go out back and get her, I won’t be a second,” I said as I watched her go to some paintings and take a look. I knew kitty was nervous about this meeting but it had to be done, this could be the making of her.

I popped my head round the door to the back room. “She’s here.” I said noticing her go to the mirror to check herself once more.

“Thanks, just coming,” she said.

As they walked off for their lunch I couldn’t help but notice how striking they looked the two of them, both of a similar build, one dark, one blonde. Talented women, both in love with lead singers in very successful bands and I felt slightly jealous and I didn’t know why except I hoped I’d get to experience real love like they both had.

The day was amazing, when Kitty returned I’d sold three paintings and Jerry was waiting to see her. They emerged from their interview chatting and gossiping like old friends. I knew it would work. Jerry was to start work straight away and I would show him the ropes then I was free to go to Bob.

Later after they’d gone Kitty told me that she was to work on a painting for Billie Joe Armstrong, she’d blushed while she told me, it was to be for their anniversary present, a surprise in a few months time. I was glad for her, this was what she needed, something to take her mind off Gerard. May be she was right. May be Gerard didn’t want her after all.

I’d have to speak to him about it, then I’d know for sure how he really felt about Kitty.

**

Kitty was Looking at the calendar in the back room, and frowning.

“Are you OK?” I asked going into the room.

“I’m…yeah, just trying to work something out,” She said, still staring at the calendar.

“Oh, what are you trying to work out? Haven’t missed anyone’s birthday have you?” I said.

”No…but…I might have missed something else,” she said, turning to me, slightly white faced.

“Oh, what’s that?” I said, intrigued.

“Nothing, its nothing. Listen I’m going up to shower, I’m covered in paint,” she said heading off up the stairs but before I could answer, Kitty was gone.

I just shrugged then and wondered what on earth it was that Kitty had forgotten.

One Week Later

“You didn’t have to come to the airport with me,” I said feeling happy and sad at the same time. I felt wonderfully happy because I was going to be with Bob but sad for Kitty who deserved some happiness. I was worried about her, that wouldn’t change but with Jerry’s help she’d get along OK and I had warned Jerry that sometimes Kitty needed a push and a reminder to do things. She was sure the gallery would run smoothly now that Jerry was there to help out.

“I wanted to, I had to come. I’m so pleased for you Liz but you make sure you come back and visit soon.” She looked sad and for a split second I felt I should be staying with her, just until everything worked out but I knew deep down this was my chance and I wasn’t sure if Bob would wait for me for much longer. He was this hot drummer in a well known band who could probably have anyone. Why wait for me?

“Of course I will, the guys are bound to be touring here and I’ll call you every day and Kitty if you want me, for anything at all, day or night, please ring.”

”Of course I will, come here,” she said hugging me tight.

They were calling for my flight so knew I had to break free from her hug.

“Say hello to all of them wont you?” said Kitty.

”Of course I will and remember what I said, any time. I’m only a phone call away.”

“I Know. Take care,” said Kitty then she walked off, turned and waved once. I hoped she’d be OK.

**

The flight took ages, waiting for my luggage took ages and as I came through the doors there were all these people standing there, loved ones meeting their relatives and I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure if Bob had sent someone or not. I glanced around at the sea of faces, taking stock of the situation for a moment when I felt him.

He was standing next to me and he took hold of my elbow and whispered in my ear, “at last.”

Turning, he was grinning all over his face as he led me off to wherever it was he was staying and I realised as soon as we arrived at the hotel his hand had hardly left mine.

I’d definitely made the right decision.