This Time, I Mean It

I’d hardly seen Gerard and I’d been here for almost a month. When I did see him it was obvious he was avoiding me and I was sure that it had something to do with Kitty and the fact that he hadn’t called her up after receiving that letter. Perhaps he felt guilty, perhaps he felt guilty also because Eliza was having his baby. They all knew about it now but Liz hadn’t plucked up the courage to tell Kitty, knowing she couldn’t break the news over the phone; she was worried about how Kitty would react.

Eliza and her hadn’t spoken but she always seemed to be around, trying to fit in, always trying to get everyone’s attention, just hanging out with the guys but she seemed distant too and everywhere that Gerard went, she wasn’t far behind.

“Hey Liz, you heard about the anniversary party?” Said Ray.

I loved Ray, he was always happy to see me and talk, we could talk easily about anything and I know he had this thing for Kitty once. May be he still did. He always asked after her as if he concerned. Well I knew he was, that was Ray and that was what he was like.

“What anniversary party?” I said.

“Billie Joe Armstrong and his wife, they’ve been married for years and are having a huge party, Gerard’s pretty friendly with Billie now and we’ve all been invited to the party. Its in a month.”

“How fantastic,” said Liz and then she remembered the painting that Kitty was doing for Billie, part of Adrienne’s anniversary surprise for him and she couldn’t wait to see it.

“Yeah, the Green Day guys are great, I’m sure it’ll be a fantastic evening.” Said Ray. “Anyway, I’ll speak to you later, yeah,” he said heading off.

“Yeah Ray, catch up with you later.” I said.

One Month Later

Liz reached over to the phone and saw that Kitty was calling and picked up immediately.

“Hi Kitty, saw your number flash up. Did the painting go?” I said remembering my call from Kitty a week ago telling me that the painting was all finished and she was going to get it sent off to Adrienne as soon as she could.

“Yes, it went off yesterday, I wish you could have seen it, I’m so pleased with it.” said Kitty sounded excited and I was so pleased, having this painting to do had been good for her.

“Well I could tell by the photo you sent me it was great, a lot of time, effort and crush-like love definitely went into it, I could tell,” I said remembering a young Kitty and her feelings that she once had for Billie Joe Armstrong all those years ago.

“Oh shut up Liz about that, that was years ago. I’ve come to a decision, I didn’t tell you before but this unveiling of the painting, anniversary party that you are all going to, I was actually invited a while back but hadn’t made my decision until just now. I’m going to come out, I’ll be there too Liz, I can’t wait to see you.”

“Oh Kitty, oh no,” I said, disappointed because Kitty told me only a week ago that she couldn’t come because she couldn’t face Gerard. Damn, I wasn’t going to get to see her.

”I know, its just that seeing as the tour will be finishing the day before the party, Bob has booked us flights to Chicago to meet his parents. He wants us all to meet and this is the only opportunity,” I said, so happy when he’d asked me to go with him. We’d hardly been apart for a moment; Bob was everything that I had always been looking for. I couldn’t keep m yhands off him.

“Well of course you have to go, I understand. I guess it’s getting pretty serious with Bob? I’m so pleased for you.” Said Kitty.

“It’s going so well, I can’t believe how we never argue, he’s so intelligent and he has me laughing about things nearly most of the day. He can cook too and ..”

“And what? He’s great in bed?” Kitty said, she loved embarrassing me.

”Kitty!” I said, “actually…yeah, he is. You know he does this…”

“Ok, Ok, I don’t want to know all the details about what he can do with that lip ring of his,” said Kitty, laughing at me.

I laughed but felt so disappointed that I wouldn’t be getting to meet up with Kitty; there was so much I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her that Eliza was having Gerard’s baby but I still couldn’t face telling her over the phone, I wanted to tell her directly and this would have been the ideal opportunity.

“Listen shall I tell the others that you are coming? Jamia was asking about you the other day and said she’d love to meet up with you properly some time, you know have a girls night out and a catch up.”

“No, I think I’ll surprise them and its time I faced Gerard.” Said Kitty.

“Yes you are being silly Kitty, for god sake you lived in each other’s pockets for years, I don’t get why you two just don’t talk, its all you two ever used to do, it was hard for anyone else to get a word in sometimes.” Yes I thought, you need to talk properly to him and may be he’d break the news to you.

“Yeah, I know, you’re right. How is he?” Said Kitty.

”He seems fine but I’ve hardly spoken to him, I think he’s avoiding me for some reason.”

“May be he just feels awkward.” Said Kitty, confused as to why Gerard wasn’t talking to Liz; they always got on so well.

“Yeah…may be that’s it,” I replied. Or may be he’s just embarrassed because he’s got Eliza pregnant and he’s a little ashamed of the whole situation.

“I have some news for you, you’ll be pleased Liz, I know you will, its just that, Dan and I. We’re over, I finally came to my senses and did it and you know, he’s fallen for his nurse so I don’t feel guilty at all. Its worked out just fine.” She said sounding so pleased but I was worried, worried about the news she I had about Gerard and Eliza and knew it would set Kitty back. It would devastate her.

“Listen, I can’t believe I’m not going to see you but I may be coming back in a couple of weeks to see Mom and Dad,” I said. “We’ll get together then, OK?” And if Gerard hadnt told you his news by then, then I’d have to do it.

“Yes, definitely but I shall probably call you up again tomorrow,” said Kitty.

“Yeah, bye Kitty.” I said to her putting down the phone, feeling so sorry for Kitty and wondered what would happen. Eliza was having Gerard’s baby but he didn’t seem pleased at all, he seemed so far away and down and distant.

I’d never seen him so unhappy.

**

“It’s a shame we can’t make the anniversary party,” I said snuggling into Bob on the flight to Chicago to meet his parents. I was a little nervous, obviously but it was the only time I’d get to meet them for some time as the tour was going across to Europe and it could be months before we got round to meeting up with them.

“Yeah, sounds like its going to be good but…we’ll have a good time too you know,” he said, “Mom’s dying to meet you. She’s going to love you.” He said.

I hope so, thought Liz because I’ll be paying more of a part in your life when our baby is born. I wish I could tell you but I don’t want to spoil things, knowing you don’t really want to settle down and this, this baby will be a huge commitment.

**

At the same time in New York as Kitty was packing up her stuff to fly to Billie and Adriennes anniversary party she too felt apprehensive because she’d decided to tell Gerard that the baby she had growing in her belly was his.