This Time, I Mean It

2 Years Later

"Oh my god Bob, she looks stunning and look at little Helen following closely behind them."

"Yeah, Kitty's gorgeous, she makes a beauiful mom," said Bob. "But then so do you and in my eyes you're the best looking momma known to man," he said.

"Dadda," said the little voice between them. Little Robert, a mixture of the both of them but Liz was glad to see that he had his father's strawberry blond hair, may be a little darker than his fathers but of the same silken texture, hair to run your fingers through she thought, smiling at the pair of them.

She'd been right. He had made a wonderful father, he was fantastic with Robert and she couldn't wish for a better partner and father for her child but now, watching Kitty and Gerard finally tie the knot she couldn't help but feel slightly jealous. This was the kind of day she'd always wanted, to be a princess for a day, to marry her prince and for everyone they knew to watch them do it. She remembered when once before she'd been engaged to Brad and all the wedding preparations she'd made and it had come to nothing, she'd spent quite a lot of money before they both realised that it wasn't what they'd wanted after all.

What they'd had was nothing to what her and Bob had. They had everything, she knew he loved her and their son, he was happy and so was she apart from that one little thing.

Bob had never mentioned marriage to her but he knew that it was something she'd always wanted to do. She'd never mentioned to him about how it was her dream to marry but occasionally when he wasn't around she brought out a bridal magazine, just to keep up to date with the latest dress designs, just to see what other people were wearing at their wedding. Just to look and to browse through, that was all it was for she said to herself.

"Dadda," the little voice said again and Bob scooped up little Robert into his bear-like arms, pointing things out to his son, whispering into his ear and making him giggle.

God she loved them both so very much.

It was almost as though they were married. They'd hardly been apart since that night at her place when he'd confessed all and when he toured she'd gone with him, she'd got a job being a tutor to some of the crew's kids that were on tour with them. Kitty was with them too and it was like the old days, all of them together, laughing and joking and watching their bellies swell.

There was lots of baby talk at that time and then, after their touring had ended, all the guys had bought houses within short walking distances of each other and so the partying and fun had continued, the guys sharing the songwriting while she and Kitty cooked for them most of the time and then, when the babies had come, only weeks apart from each other, all the guys had to be godfathers and what a day that had been.

There'd been lots of talk of Kitty and Gerard's wedding, Kitty sharing the preparations with her like a good friend would but still she hadn't mentioned to Bob that she wished it was them. He was still married after all to Sarah, the only time she'd been spoken of after Bob had told all was to tell all their friends about her and his previous life and what she'd done. They felt it was best that the guys knew.

They were shocked and disgusted by it all but it hadn't been mentioned again, it was something in the past, something that wasn't to be spoken about but the thing that hurt Liz most was that something in the past had very much destroyed her future plans and aspirations and there was nothing she could do about it.

Nothing at all.

**

"You look beautiful," Liz said to Kitty. Her friend was so gorgeous and she'd never looked better. She remembered those days when both her and Gerard had been ill from alcohol but you'd never have guessed it looking at them now.

"Thanks, I'm so happy." Kitty responded kissing Liz on the cheek. "I can't believe this is the first time I've got to talk to you. Did you enjoy the meal?" She said sitting down next to her friend.

"It was amazing, it must have cost a fortune," said Kitty knowing full well how much weddings cost these days as she'd checked the bridal magazines so often.

"Our parents paid for everything," said Kitty. "Where's Bob?"

"He's off somewhere with Robert, those two are never far apart from each other." Said Liz, she loved it that they were like that and she guessed that they would always be close. "Just like Gerard and little Helen, god she gets more and more like him each time I see her."

"I know, its pretty spooky but actually she looks more like Gerard's grandmother than anything else. I still can't believe it Liz, I can't believe that finally we're together, sometimes I still feel as though I have to pinch myself. Why on earth didn't we ever get together, those missing years were weird, we didn't even speak to each other," she said shaking her head at how unbelievable it all seemed.

"Life's weird." Said Liz, "but...its never going to happen again, you've got your whole lives ahead of you...Mrs Way." She said pleased for her friend but wondering if she'd ever become Mrs Bryer. She'd have to stop this, she'd have to accept that it wasn't what Bob wanted. It wouldn't change things with them, they'd still be together, she knew that but...it would be the icing on the cake for her, especially now they had Robert. They felt the same about every single thing in their lives, they rarely argued but this...this getting married thing she'd just have to forget it. If she wanted Bob she'd have to realise she'd never be a Mrs, he was happy to keep things as they were and who could blame him after what he went through.

"Mrs Way. I like that name," said Kitty standing up. "Look...Mr Way is calling me over, I'll catch up with you later, we need to have a night out or do something, just the two of us, when we get back from honeymoon we'll arrange it, yeah?"

"Of course." Said Liz watching her beautiful friend go to be with her beautiful husband, their beautiful child tugging on her father's jacket.

"Liz, there you are!" Said Ray. "Bob's been looking for you, he thought you were outside."

"Outside?" Said Liz standing up. "I wondered where he'd got to, thought he'd gone off somewhere with Robert."

"Robert is with Frank and Jamia, see over there," said Ray pointing at little Robert sitting on Frank's lap, Jamia leaning over him playing a clapping game.

"So Bob's looking for me?" Said Liz.

"Yeah, he's outside in the gardens. Its cooler out there." Said Ray, fanning himself from the heat, "I'll keep an eye out for Robert, he'll be fine, you'd better go and find Bob."

"Thanks Ray. Is...is Bob OK?" She asked the frowned at Ray wondering why Bob hadn't come to find her himself.

"I think so, I think its just....may be...because its a wedding, it must be after what happened to him before, you know, with....Sarah." Ray said glancing away.

"Yeah, I'll go and see that he's OK." Said Liz, slightly annoyed at Bob. He'd have to get over this at some time, his best friends were getting married and he couldn't handle it. How childish she thought as she left the noise and bustle of the wedding party to go outside.

The grounds of the hotel were beautiful, luscious lawns that swept far in the distance and little enclosed gardens surrounding it.

Where the fuck was he? She thought, what was he doing dragging her out of Kitty and Gerard's wedding like this just because he couldn't handle his feelings, just because he'd got married before and had made a huge mistake. She was angry now, angry at Bob for letting this Sarah bitch get to him still. We are together now she thought, he needs to get over this.

Glancing around she saw him, he was standing on a small balcony, his hair blowing in the slight breeze. He was handsome still and always would be she thought. He'd kept his hair long, had always kept his beard and she blushed to herself for she loved his beard too, the way it grazed at her skin and left patchy red blotches on her body. He turned as if knowing she was standing there and his face lit up and he smiled at her, a huge wide smile and that old familiar butterfly feeling erupted in her stomach again, it had never left her and she doubted it ever would.

His lip ring glistened in the early evening sun and she started walking towards him.

"Liz, you took your time," he said reaching out his hand to her. She took it, his hand huge and slightly rough in hers. Rough hands, tickling beard, glistening lip ring. She loved everything about him.

"What do you mean?" Said Liz.

"I've been waiting for you for ages, well...it seems like ages," he said bending to kiss her lips, his familiar lip ring sending her butterfly haywire.

"What are you doing out here anyway, you're missing everything. I think they are about to cut the cake." She said knowing the rituals of weddings inside and out.

"Oh, that can wait," said Bob. "There's something I want to say."

"Oh." Said Liz who frowned, she really wanted to see them cut the cake, she wanted to get some photographs of the moment, she knew how Kitty would want her to be there.

"Yes." Said Bob and before she knew it he'd bent down on one knee. "I want to say this, Liz, marry me. I'm ready to marry you, I've been ready for some time but...I just needed to sort things. You will won't you, marry me, please." He said, his words spilling out all at once and she was sure they'd come out all wrong for him, she was sure that he'd probably practiced over and over the right words to say to her but when it came to it, these weren't the words he'd practiced and she couldn't help but smile and she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Bob. Really? You really want to marry me?" She said, astounded as she looked at the man she adored, his strawberry blonde silken hair blowing about his face. Reaching she tucked his hair back from his face for him as his hands were fumbling inside his jacket pocket for what she knew was going to be a ring.

"Of course I do Liz, here, I chose it for you, I hope you like it." He said handing her a dark blue velvet jewellery box. He opened it and there, glistening away was a diamond ring, a perfect ring, the ring she'd dreamt of.

"Of course I'll marry you, its what I've always wanted," she said grabbing on to him, his hair in her face, his familiar bear like arms grabbing hold of her and she'd never felt so happy. Secure and happy with her Bob and he wanted to marry her after all.

Bob stood up and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you," he said, whispering onto her shoulder.

"What for?" Said Liz looking up at him through damp eyes.

"For being so understanding. I found Sarah, months ago and started proceedings, I wanted to surprise you. We're now divorced and now I'm free to marry you and Liz, please, lets just do it as soon as possible." He said.

"But...the preparations," said Liz.

"Of course, the preparations," said Bob. "Well, now you can get out all your bridal magazines in front of me and make as many preparations as you like but...like I said, don't take too long over it. I want you to be my Mrs Bryer as soon as possible." He said then chuckled.

"You knew about the magazines?" Liz said, shocked, she thought she'd hidden her secret away.

"I've always known you wanted to marry and I wanted to make that happen for you. Of course I've known about the magazines, you're not that good at keeping secrets you know."

"Bob Bryer, I love you. Did you know that?" Said Liz linking her arm through his as they headed back to the wedding party.

"I've always known." Said Bob, "from that first day, the first time I saw you I knew you were special."

"Are you sure you're ready to marry again?" Said Liz. She had to be sure, one hundred percent sure.

"Of course I'm sure," said Bob bending to kiss her nose. "and you know what? This time....I mean It."