Rum and Coke

The drive to Richmond was unbearably long. The handicapped accessible bus proved non-existent, forcing both bands (and accessories) onto the Avenged bus. To say that it was cramped would be an understatement.

For the first few hours, the bands swapped funny stories and played word games. Now, in the fifth hour of the drive, each person kept themselves busy. Matt and Larry were looking at Matt’s laptop and talking in hushed tones. Val, Zacky, and Johnny were sleeping in the bunks. Kay was helping Ryan with his leg exercises (which were going no where). Brian and Jimmy were reading. Ren was humming softly to Ellie, who was leaning against him and staring off into space.

Growing a little bored of his book, Jimmy looked up and started making faces at Ellie. When she didn’t reply, he launched an empty water bottle at her.

“What the fuck, Jimmy?!” she asked, finally coming out of her trance.

Jimmy shrugged. “I didn’t like the face you were making.”

Ellie lifted an eyebrow at him.

“It looked like you were up to something mischievous.” A thought coming to him, he leaned closer to her. “Does it involve me? Is it going to be fun? Tell me, woman!”

“Jimmy, stop being crazy,” Matt ordered, not looking up from the laptop.

“Well?” Jimmy asked, prodding Ellie with his foot.

Ellie rolled her eyes and looked over at Ryan. “Hey, Ry-ry, you still planning on moving in with me after tour?”

Ryan spun around the best he could to look at her. “That’s still the plan. Why?”

Ellie sighed and played with her fingernails. “Because I think we should get a pet.”

Matt spit out his water and looked over at Ellie.

“You know, we can go to the mall and pick one out-”

“Ellie, you are not allowed to pick up a scene kid and make them your pet!” Matt exclaimed. “I forbid it. You can defy me, but I forbid it!”

Ellie looked over at him. “And you call Jimmy the crazy one?”

“No, I’m serious! I had a conversation like this with your mother. I’m not lying! Ask your Uncle Kale. The conversation ended with whips and chains- it was pretty terrifying.”

Jimmy cracked up and fell to the floor laughing. “Oh, Danni! She never changes!”

Ellie looked from Jimmy to Matt to Ryan, and then back to Jimmy. “Ok, crazy people, I’m going to get some shut eye before the show tonight.” She said before getting up unsteadily.
Ren instantly shot his arms out and caught her. “Let me help, Hon,” he said, offering his body as support. When she refused his offer, he grabbed her elbows and steadied her against him. “Let me re-phrase: I’m going to help you, better get used to it because I’m not going away any time soon.”

Ellie sighed and let him carry her to the bunks.

~*~
After that, everything fell into a comfortable pattern. The days began to blend. The roads became more familiar. Life, although extremely different and not what anyone had imagined, had began to become simpilar. The times between sets became more fluid. Shows, themselves, got easier. Both Ryan and Ellie were getting stronger in their own way. Ellie could now mostly walk without without the use of the cane. Ryan was getting some feeling back in his legs. Soon, he would try the leg braces. Everyone was hoping for the best.

It was a few hours after the Philadelphia show when Jimmy found ellie onstage. She was looking out into the auditorium with a blank expression. Her eyes were void of emotion.

“Ellie, we’re about to head to the hotel.”

Ellie turned to look at Jimmy, but didn’t say anything.

“Are- are you alright?” he asked, coming closer.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean anymore? Are you okay? I mean, I’m breathing. I’m speaking. I’m ambulatary- at least for now. I- shit, you stupid fucking hand!” she shouted the last part. Her hands began to tremble again. She hated not having control over her body anymore.

“Ellie,” Jimmy said, looking at her hands in horror. The last time he had seen something like that was when Danni overdosed on Meth. She was convulsing all over the floor- and the smell! It was awful.

Ellie, seeing his distress, hid her hands behind her back. “I’m okay, Jimmy.”

“But, you’re hands!”

“Are fine, see?” she said, showing him her hands. Though she got the tremors almost everyday, the episodes were really short- not lasting more than a few minutes at a time. Luckily for her, they had yet to occur during a show.”

“What was that?”

“That, is the onset of what I’m going to die from.”

“What you’re- are you dying?”

“Everyone is dying, Jimmy, it’s just a matter of time when we finally kick the bucket.”

Jimmy’s lips turned into a frown.

“Don’t worry, it’s not going to happen anytime soon. I mean, mom had it for two years before- ah, shit,” Ellie cursed, realizing she said too much.

“Don’t worry, I know she’s- ya know. Ryan slipped when he was in the hospital when he was hyped up on pain meds.”

“God, fuck it! Who all knows?”

“Brian’s the only one who doesn’t.”

“Fuck my life,” she said, finally moving from her spot.

“Ellie-”

“He’s going to know when we get to New York, okay? Stop hassling me. I’ve heard enough of it.”

“I’m not hassling you, Ellie. I actually think it’s rather cool of you.”

Ellie turned back to look at him. “It’s cool?

“I mean, that you had the strength to go out and find your biological father. That you’re doing all this. That you could pull through it all. Cause God knows that you didn’t lean on us for any of it.”

Ellie shrugged. “I felt alone. Abandoned. Mom was gone. And dad? I didn’t know if I actually had one. The few times that she did talk about him, her story changed. One time he raped her. Another, he was a one night stand. It wasn’t until I read her letter that I knew she had actually known, and loved him.”

“Letter?”

“Yea, she left this to me,” Ellie said, pulling out the tattered letter. It never left her side.

“Do you mind?” Jimmy asked, his hands itching to touch it.

Ellie shrugged and offered it to him. “Go ahead.”

Jimmy quickly scanned the letter. “Did she- she never talked about any of us?” he asked, his voice cracking.

Ellie shook her head. “The only thing she ever said about her life in California was taking sunset walks and being in the company with Kale. Everything else is just this huge void that I’m trying to fill.”

Jimmy nodded his head. “She was one of my best friends. We did a lot of crazy shit together. A lot of nights spent in jail.”

“Jimmy, please-”

“Well, hey, just know that if things with Syn don’t work out, I still want to be friends with you.”

“I’m not my mother.”

“I know that. Okay? I know that. It’s just…Danni’s gone. I don’t want to lose the only piece of her that’s still left on this earth.”

Ellie smiled. “Okay. It’s a deal.”

Jimmy smiled. “Cool.”

“Now, tell me some of these crazy stories.”