Rum and Coke

Ellie stared down into the two large empty rectangular holes in the ground. She couldn’t believe that this was it. She couldn’t believe that this was the end. The end of her pretending that everything was perfect. That she wasn’t falling apart at the seams. Ellie fingered the velvet box in her hoodie pouch. She didn’t feel like she was obligated to getting dressed up. She didn’t want to, anyway. It would make everything even more real- even more final

The small box snapped shut on her finger, jolting her back into reality. She was suddenly aware of her surrounding and the ominous holes in front of her, knowing what they would soon hold. What they would hide. Fear rose up in her and she darted away, finally resting at an unfamiliar headstone.

Mattheiu Perry Davis
2007-2026
Loving Son, Loyal Friend, and Brave Soldier

Subconsciously, Ellie brought out the velvet box and fingered it. She looked back and forth between the headstone and the box. Bitingly her lip, she hesitantly sat down on the damp ground.

“Hey, Matt. I’m sorry that I wasn’t at your funeral and it would be a lie to say that I wasn’t there because of the guns. Ok, so that was really bad, but I know that you understand. You always have, understood, I mean.” She sighed and hung her head. “I don’t know what I mean anymore. I guess I’m trying to say that you’re one of the most understanding people that I have ever known…and, well, that’s probably the reason I fell so hard for you…and, well, you know that’s hard for me to do…love, I mean. But, you’ll be happy to know that I’m getting better- I think.” Ellie sighed again and stared at the engraving.

“Matt, I’m- I’m not sorry that we broke up, as bad as that sounds. You really hurt me, and, well, as masochist as this sounds, it was for the better. If you would have told me when you first enlisted, I would have supported you, yes, but I would not have gotten anywhere in life. I would not have gone all the way across the country to meet my dad, I wouldn’t be fighting the Homefront War, as the media calls it…I wouldn’t be going to NYU in a month…I would have been hung up on you. As bad as this sounds, I would have turned into how Bailey was- comatose until the postman or military official arrived at my doorstep…So, thank you. For everything, especially trying to get me to open up…and for hurting me.
“I opened your package last night. And, as much as I appreciate the gesture, I just don’t feel right in keeping them. So, here’s your Class Ring back,” she said, taking that particular ring out of the box. “Representing the fun times that we’ve had and the tears that we shared.” she kissed it and placed it on the ground in front of her. “Here’s the Engagement Ring, for the promises we committed to,” she said, repeating the action. She sighed heavily and looked at the last ring. “And here’s the Wedding Band, for the dreams we shared that will never come true.” After she laid that one down next to the other rings, Ellue pressed my fingers into the earth and gently created a somewhat deep hole. With a final sigh, she put the rings in the hole and pushed the upturned earth over them. “With these, I give your heart back to you.” She whispered before getting up.

“I thought you would be here,” a voice said from behind her, making her jump with fright. “I just didn’t think that you would be here,” he emphasized.

Ellie brushed her hair behind her ear and stood up. “Yea, well, life’s full of surprises.” she said bitterly.

“Harsh much?” he asked, his dark chocolate eyes full of concern.

“I’m sorry,” She sighed.

He nodded his head and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s ok. With all that you’ve gone through, it’s to be expected. Although, I thought that you would be at your mother’s or Marcia’s grave instead of at this one.”

Ellie inhaled his scent. “I haven’t talked to him since we…you know, broke up and stuff.”

“Oh, I see.”

“He was going to propose to me, Colin. He had the rings made and engraved…he was going to propose to me today. How could he have known that I would be here?”

Colin hugged his old dance partner tighter to him. “I don’t know. Maybe he thought that you would stay here and wait for him to come back home.”

Ellie shook her head and buried myself further into his nice dress shirt. “How did you know that I wouldn’t be at the service?” she asked randomly, once the tears subsided.

Chuckling, he let her out of his hold a little so that she could see him. “Do you remember the conversation we had at Thomas’s funeral? You told me that you were never going to attend a service again. That you wouldn’t even attend your own.”

“I said that?” Ellie asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

“Yea, I thought that it was so odd until I heard your mother say something along the same lines.”

“Really? What did she say?”

Colin shrugged and ran his large brown hands over her triceps. Something along the lines of: I’ll watch them put ‘em in the ground, but damned if I’ll let them see me listening to people talk about their lives. They know how amazing they were and how many people they touched, why announce it to the world?”

Ellie smiled at his words. “Something like that?”

Colin smiled, showing off his dimples. “Okay, so it may be a direct quote. You , however, will never know,” he added with a twinkle in his eye.

“You are just- I don’t know!” she said, pushing him back slightly.

“Hey, there’s the girl I met five years ago.” He said with a large grin. “Come on, the procession is about to arrive.”

Ellie nodded her head and let him lead her over to the graves. Adam was the first to great them. His eyes were red and puffy, but that didn’t stop the sparkle in his eyes from showing as soon as he saw Ellie. Idina gave the teenage girl a sympathetic smile before pulling her into a warm embrace. Idina whispered soothing words into Ellie’s ear and pressed her lips against the top of Ellie’s head several times before her husband, Taye, and other members of our theatrical family passed the girl around. Ellie felt like a cherished little doll that was being passed around the play pen…and yet, she didn’t mind it. These people were her family. She knew that they would never intentionally hurt her, and that’s all that really mattered.

Next came Uncle Jared’s firm partners. They were all nice men, albeit a little hesitant and slightly stand-offish. But, that’s to be expected, they didn’t really know Ellie- they just saw her at the occasional banquet and such.

The graveside service started without Ryan and the people that Ellie been touring with. Ellie found this quite odd and disturbing because Ryan knew how important this was, and he’s never been late to anything in his entire life (as shocking as that sounds).

Idina and Adam stayed by Ellie’s side throughout the service. One of her arms was wound around her waist and one of his arms was wound tightly around her shoulders. Colin stood directly behind Ellie, his chin resting comfortably on her shoulder. Taye stood by his wife, offering her the occasional squeeze. Throughout the service, Ellie didn’t move. She didn’t react. She just stood there, her eyes focused on a small patch of sky. She believed that, if she didn’t see or acknowledge the truth, then it really wasn’t real.