Rum and Coke

Ellie stared at the handful of moist dirt that was slowly slipping through her fingers. This is it, she thought as she threw it on top of Uncle Kale’s casket, which had already been lowered into the ground. She then tossed a second handful of dirt over Uncle Jared’s casket. They’re gone.

“I don't know just where I'm going
And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming
And the air is cold” she sang softly, trying so hard not to break down and cry (again) as she slowly walked backwards into Adam and Idina’s arms.

“And I'm not the same anymore
I've been running in your direction
For too long now,
I've lost my own reflection
And I can't look down
If you're not there to catch me when I fall,” she continued to sing, her attention and eyes focused only on the two graves in front of her.

“If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home” Idina joined, her arm slinging around Ellie’s shoulders.

“I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave.” Against her will, a lone teardrop slid down Ellie’s cheek. Ellie hastily brushed it away before continuing with the song.

“All along all I ever wanted, was to be the light
When your life was daunting
But I can't see mine
When I feel as though you're pushing me away” Colin, Adam and Taye joined in.

“Well who's to blame, are we making the right choices
Cause we can't be sure if we're hearing our own voices
As we close the door even though we are so desperate to stay…” One by one, as if by some psychic connection, everyone joined in. It was as if the mourners were in some odd musical where no one knew where it was heading. By the end of the second chorus, everyone was singing. Their voices rose, harmonizing with each other in a symphony of mourning…but no voice cracked as much as Ellie’s.

“If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last chance before we say goodbye
At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave

“And I might still cry
And I might still bleed
These thorns in my side
This heart on my sleeve
And lightening may strike
This ground at my feet
And I might still crash
But I still believe

This is the moment I stand here all alone
With everything I have inside, everything I own
I might be afraid
But it's my turn to be brave
If this is the last time before we say goodbye” One by one, the mourners dropped out, until it was just Ellie singing.

“At least it's the first day of the rest of my life
I can't be afraid
Cause it's my turn to be brave,” Ellie faded out. Adam gave her a reassuring squeeze and planted a kiss on her head.

“Come on, my Angel, let’s go.” He whispered in her ear while steering her away from the graves. Ellie let him, not really wanting to come back into the realm of reality.

“Ellie,” Ryan whispered from yards away. How she heard him was a mystery to Ellie. She could see the tears in his eyes as he rolled as fast as he could to her and hugged her midriff tightly. Ryan kissed her clothed stomach as soon as his arms were around her, causing Adam to let go. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here earlier, but traffic was a bitch and the stupid fuckers wouldn’t let me drive, so of course we got lost,” he whispered into her ear while squeezing her tighter.

Ellie kneeled and hugged him back fiercley. “It’s okay, you’re here now…and that’s all that matters,” she told him. “Even if you missed the epic song.”

“You- did it really happen? You got everyone to sing?”
Ellie bit her lip and nodded. “It was magical.”

Ryan gave her one last great squeeze before he released her. “Hey, Adam, Idina, Taye, it’s good to see you guys again…just not under these circumstances.” He addressed them, his smile slowly fading.

Ellie stood up and rested her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s nice seeing you, too, Hon,” Idina said, a smile stretched across her thin face as she pulled him into her arms before passing him to Adam.

“Ellie, I’m going to go say goodbye to them now,” Ryan said, motioning to the graves behind her. “Did Bailey and Mark ever show?”

Ellie shook her head.

Sighing, Ryan nodded his head and rolled over to the graves.

Someone coughed loudly behind the small group. Ellie turned to see the rest of the guys, Val, and Kay standing there. “Oh, guys, this is Idina, her husband, Taye; Adam, my surrogate father. Idina, Taye, Adam, this is Val, Kay, Matt, Johnny, Jimmy, Zacky, Renn, and my biological father, Brian.” Ellie said, introducing everyone as they shook hands.

“It’s nice to finally meet all of you,” Adam said with a smile. “Ellie can’t seem to stop talking about the tour and everyone on it.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Brian said a little hesitantly. His eyes quickly scanned the crowd.
“Well, we’re going to have a little gathering at the theatre right now. It’s tradition. You all are welcome to join us,” Idina said with her ever-present smile.

“That sounds great,” Brian said distractedly, still scanning the crowd. “Ellie, where’s your mother?”

“What?” Adam and Idina asked with the same tone and look.

Ellie swallowed the lump in her throat and held out her hand. “I’ll take you to her,” she said, her voice cracking. Ellie looked over at the large group with a small smile, missing the look of despair that now adorned Brian’s chiseled features.

“Angel?” Adam asked. “Will you be there?”

Ellie nodded her head. “Yea, I’ll meet you there,” she replied, reaching up and kissing his cheek.

“We’ll be in Step Hall,” he replied with a smile, bringing her back into his arms and kissing the top of her head. He then looked back up to the others. “You can follow me, or just get directions from Ryan when he gets back. The theatre isn’t too far away.”

“Yea, sounds good.” Matt replied, shifting uncomfortably on his feet.

Ellie looked back to her biological father and tugged on his arm a little. “Come, she’s this way,” she said quietly, pulling him down the path that wound past her mother’s grave.