Rum and Coke

Matt found Brian at his usual spot in Santa Monica. He sat down on Brian’s left side- the side that the sand wasn’t filled with discarded cigarette butts- and lit up. They sat there for the longest time, just looking out at the waves and the occasional people that walked past them.

“How did you know I was here?” Brian asked, flicking the remainder of the cigarette away and lighting up another.

“It’s simple. We’re all creatures of habit. I go to the pier, Zacky goes to HB public beach, Jimmy goes to the Spot, Johnny goes to Johnny’s…and you? You come here…to Santa Monica. You’ve come here ever since she-who-must-not-be-named?”

Brian took a long drag before letting it go slowly. I small smile crept across his face. “She loved this place.”

“Why do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Torture yourself. I mean, you have a beautiful wife, a great kid, a nice house, a good job, loving family and friends…you have everything, and yet you go and destroy it because of a stupid girl that you haven’t seen nor spoken to in almost nineteen years. Why do you do it? Are you becoming some kind of self-masochist or something?” Matt asked, looking his friend in the eye.

“I honestly don’t know,” Brian replied after he let out a long drag. “I mean, every time I wake up after dreaming of her and see Mich laying there beside me, my heart sinks a little in disappointment. I keep waking up, expecting to see her. It’s ridiculous! I mean, it’s been what? Almost nineteen years since then? And yet I still can’t get the fuck over her- she’s not getting out of my head! And all the while, my marriage is falling apart and my kid hates me! When did everything get so fucking screwed up?”

Matt shrugged and lit another cigarette. He wished that he had stopped by an ABC store. Obviously, nicotine wasn’t enough anymore. After pondering for a few seconds, Matt spoke the words that he had wanted to say ever since he saw that little girl almost sixteen years ago.“Maybe because, as much as I hate to say this, maybe you and Mich weren’t meant for each other,” Matt spoke cautiously. He was waiting for a blow from Brian at any moment. “You’re still in love with Danni, as much as you hate to admit it. You still love her…the human hurricane with a train wreck of emotions. Maybe that’s why you keep dreaming of her, because you’re fooling yourself and, in your dreams, your heart shows you what you truly want and need.”

“That’s a load of bull,” Brian said bluntly as he stubbed out his cigarette. “Honestly man, when did you become such a sappy loser?” he asked as he lit up yet another cigarette. “I can’t be in love with her. We did so much shit wrong and fucked so many things up… that’s why she left, because we were too fucked up to be together. No, we were the worst couple in the history of couples.”

“I think she left more because of your temper…and that last time, you never officially broke it off with Mich,” Matt said truthfully.

“That, too. Fuck, I want to get wasted.” He said, turning his head to look at something

“I don’t want to deal with your hung-over ass tomorrow. We got those auditions, remember?” Matt reminded his best friend, even though he knew that both of them were going to hit the liquor cabinet as soon as they got home.

“Fuck it, we don’t have to show up until at least four.” Brian expressed, his gaze still fixed on the stretch of sand behind Matt.

Matt followed his gaze to see a group of four teenagers at the water’s edge. “What the fuck are you looking at, Gates? All I see is a bunch of kids.”

“I’ve been watching them for awhile.”

“Because that doesn’t make you sound like a pervert,” Matt said sarcastically.

Brian pushed his friend’s shoulder and took another long drag. “Nah, like, it’s how we were in middle school. You know, before sex and drugs took over?”

Matt looked more closely at them and instantly saw the similarities. The guys had mischievous looks on their faces as the girls talked and joked with each other as they all tossed a Frisbee between them. As soon as the taller girl let go of the Frisbee, the shorter guy lunged on her and they both went crashing down into the sand. After the girl let out a slew of curse words, the boy kissed her cheek before jumping up and running away. She was just as fast and jumped on his back. Laughing at their friend’s antics, the other two just sat down in the sand.

“It doesn’t help that that tall chick looks familiar.” Brian said, motioning to the girl that was dancing to her own tune as she threw the ball to her friend.

Matt shrugged. “You say that about a lot of people,” he said honestly. The first few months after Danni disappeared, Brian thought that every black-haired girl was his lost love. Even now, he still subconsciously looks for her.

“But this one’s different.”

“Again, you say that about everyone.”

“Whatever. I’m going to get drunk. You coming with?”

“Yea, someone has to drive your drunk ass home. You know Mich is going to have a cow.” Matt called after his friend.

Brian was halfway to his vehicle by the time Matt stood up.

“HEADS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” a loud, feminine voice, yelled.

Thwak! The back of Matt’s head stung a little as he looked down at the culprit- a red Frisbee.

“Ryan, You fucker! This isn’t fucking Central Park! Use your goddamn head and not someone else’s!” The tall girl, who Matt assumed was the one who yelled. She was maybe 5’5” with an athletic build- Matt assumed dancing or gymnastics. She had already put her long black hair up into a messy ponytail and sport sunglasses adorned her face. “I’m so sorry. My friend is a douchebag. Are you alright?” she asked sincerely.

Matt picked up the toy and handed it to her, his other hand rubbing the back of his head. “Yea, fuck, is your boyfriend trying to set a new record or anything?” he asked the girl.

Chuckling lightly, she replied. “Ryan? My boyfriend? That’s funny…no, he’s my brother.” She smiled warmly as she took the Frisbee.

“Oh, sorry.”

She waved it away with her hand and put her sunglasses up on her head, revealing her sparkling blue-grey eyes. Eyes that Matt recognized instantly from years ago. “No worries. I guess I’ll see you at the auditions tomorrow. Bye, Matt.” And like that, she was walking away from him. She yelled at her friends and they all headed across the street.

“Holy fuck, Syn, I’m glad you left quickly,” Matt muttered to myself. I can’t believe that I had just spoken to Danni’s daughter. Fuck, I need a drink, Matt thought as he walked back up to the parking lot.

He contemplated what she had said- that she would see him tomorrow at the auditions- as he drove to Johnny’s bar. He wondered what would happen if Syn actually met her. He wondered what he would do when he found out that Matt, his best friend since childhood, knew he had a daughter all along. I guess time will have to tell, Matt thought bitterly to himself.