Rum and Coke

Ellie sat on the front porch rail looking at all the kids playing in the sand and watching the tide come in. At that moment, she wished that she was back in New York, back in her mother’s arms. Back where her life was. Things were so much simpler there. She wished that she had never yelled at her mom that night. That she had hugged her and told her how much she loved her. She wouldn’t tell anyone, but Ellie still blamed herself for her mother’s death- that she was the one who triggered the panic attack that killed her mother. She knew that she shouldn’t…but she had always blamed herself for everything. She remembered, back when she was really little and Adam pissed her off, that her father would come in and rescue her. When that never happened, she blamed herself and went into a mini-depression for weeks on end.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Mark asked from beside Ellie. She hadn’t even heard him coming outside. He leaned against the same rail that Ellie was perched on.

Ellie exhaled the smoke from her cigarette.

“C’mon, Ellie, tell me what’s on your mind,” he gently nudged her.

“Just…a lot of stuff, okay?”

Mark nodded and studied her face. Smiling lightly, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and gently cupped her cheek.

“What are you doing?” she asked softly when their eyes met.

“I missed you,” he whispered, drawing his face closer to hers.

“You see me every day.”

“Not like this,” he whispered, their faces only centimeters apart.

Before he could come any closer, Ellie pushed him away. “No, Mark, it’s over. It’s been over for two and a half years.”

“But, last month-” he pleaded.

“Last month was apparently a mistake. I needed comfort and you were there.”

“So, you were using me,” he stated, his eyes never leaving hers.

“We were using each other.”

“One song, Glory/ One song, before I go/ Glory...”

“You should get that. I’m sure Adam will want to know what happened. I’ll be inside if you need me,” Mark said, hanging his head as he began to walk back into the house.

“Mark, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, it wasn’t my place. You should answer that before it goes to voicemail.” And like that, he was gone.

“Hello?” Ellie asked as she answered her phone.

“Hey, Baby girl. What’s going on?” Adam asked.

“Nothing, really.”

“Oh, did I call at a bad time? Are you in the studio? Because I can call back later.”

“No, Daddy, I’m not in the studio.”

“Oh, ok. What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Look, Daddy, it’s just a lot of shit that I don’t want to talk about. Basically, though, Brian and I are no longer on speaking terms. I’m not even sure if we still have the gig at this point,” she said getting off the porch and walking across the street.

“Oh. Ok. So, are you coming back home?” He asked with hope.

“I don’t know. It’s like…I wanna prove to him that I am worth something…that I have something to say and I won’t give up till someone listens to me,” she said distractedly as she picked up a shell

“You sound just like your mother,” Adam smiled.

“Yea, well, I don’t feel like her,” Ellie admitted bitterly as she tossed the shell back into the ocean.

“You haven’t told him, have you?” Adam asked after a short silence.

“No,” Ellie admitted, knowing exactly what he was referring to. “And I’m not going to tell him. Like I said earlier, we’re not on speaking terms at the moment.”

“You can’t hide this from him forever. He has a right to know.” Adam gulped, at first he secretly didn’t want Brian to know. He wanted Ellie and the memory of Danielle all to himself. But then, he got to thinking. If Brian truly loved Danielle like Adam thought he did, then he at least deserved to know what had happened to her.

“Why? He has Michelle.”

“And I bet he still loves your mother. He needs to know. He deserves to know.”

“And how would you know?” Ellie asked coldly as she dipped her toes in the cold water.

“Call it intuition. Anyways, I gotta go, baby. Love ya, bye.”

click

Ellie looked at her phone as if it were alien. “That was different.”