Slip Into The Tragedy

I headed for the bathroom, all the guys were woken up by my screaming.
They gawked at me as I walked past.
I looked like I was from a horror movie.
I paid no attention to them.
I walked in and shut the door.

I left the bathroom clean.
I didn't feel clean though, I felt so dirty.
So fucking dirty I wish I could cut my skin off.
I saw Mikey, Frank, Bob and Ray crowd around Gerard, they were whispering.
They turned to look at me as I came out.
I looked at them, but didn't really see them.
Before a word was said I hopped into my bunk, facing the wall.
I could hear someone whispering.
"I want to see how she is but I don't know how she'll react" I guessed Gerard.
"Just give her some time, she's been through something major tonight"
Perhaps Ray, The Man With The Plan.

I was suddenly exhausted.
I fell quickly asleep.
It was as if what happened was replayed to me in my sleep.
Over and over and over.
It started off at a normal pace then got faster and faster.
Now it was just me screaming.
I didn't realize I was actually screaming till I was shook awake.
"Ashley!" Gerard yelled, that was a first.
My eyes fluttered open, my heart pounding in my chest.
"Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry Gerard" I shook my head trying to shake off the dream.
He looked at me in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Why are you apologizing to me?"
I leaned my torso out and hugged him.
"For starting the fight, last night wouldn't have happened if I wasn't such a complete fuck face!"
"Shh shh" He rubbed my back "It's not your fault sweetie, do not blame yourself!"
I nodded, I guess he was right.
I laid back in my bunk.
I grabbed Gerard's left arm to look at his watch. It was seven thirty in the morning.
Well I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep now.

Gerard yawned, rubbing his right hand down his face.
"Go back to sleep, I'm sorry I woke you"
He nodded leaning down, kissing my forehead.
I slid out of the bunk as he slid in his own, I wished we shared bunks.
Lucky I didn't fall.
I walked to the kitchen, making a quick coffee before sitting on the couch.