You Gotta Smile Sometimes

I got up and went through my usual morning routine. I looked out of the window to see that it was pouring down. I groaned and went searching for my car keys. I found them among the mess on my desk where they had been tossed last night. My mother wasn't up yet and I doubted that she would be up until way after noon. I was still as confused as I had been last night over Mikey's behaviour. Whoever said that sleeping on a problem was seriously wrong, as was the person who said that everything would look better in the morning. I mean, you can't say that about a war and you couldn't say that about my situation with Mikey.

I grabbed my bag and sketch books as well as another change of clothes as I had to go the agency as soon as I finished school. I stumbled out of the door to my Cadillac Convertible of which I had thankfully put the roof up last night before I went in the house. I tossed my stuff in the backseat and climbed in the front.

I rammed the keys in the ignition and started the engine. I was still thinking about Mikey when the engine decided to stall almost as soon as I switched it on. I screamed silently and banged my head against the steering wheel. I waited impatiently for a few minutes and started the engine again. This time it stayed on and I greatfully pulled out of the driveway.

The car was really a pile of crap. You'd have thought with my family being as rich as they were, my mother could afford to buy me a better car but no, I had to have this piece of crap. But I did love my car. I rummaged around in the glove compartment and found the CD I was looking for, an Alice Cooper compilation disk. I shoved it into the CD player and turned the volume up in an attempt to distract my thoughts from Mikey to no avail. I still couldn't work out why he had seemed so distant from me as soon as I had mentioned Felix. It was as if he didn't want me to have any other friends than the ones we already have. I shrugged it off, if he didn't want to get on with Felix it was his problem, not mine.

I arrived at school feeling kinda pissed off with Mikey and it was still raining. I parked in the closest spot available to the buildings and sat in the car waiting for the rain to ease off a bit before I made a dash inside. Before I could even open my door, the passenger side door opened and Vicky slid into the seat beside me.

"Hey" she said, waving at me, "Bit wet today".

I laughed. "Yup. Rain, rain and more rain." I answered her.

"How was counselling?"

"Basically shit. Fucking useless"

she nodded in agreement. "But are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I promise. I talked to Mikey about it last night. Oh and I made a new friend."

"What's their name?"

"Felix Feneon. He's really sweet, in a friend sort of way" I added, noticing the look on Vicky's face.

"Yeah, right!"

"He is!" I said to her.

"Okay I believe you. So does he go to our school?"

"Yeah or at least he will be. He's gunna be in Will and Matt's year. I said I would introduce him to them before he starts so he can get to know them a bit."

"Cool so when do we get to meet him?" Vicky asked.

"Probably tomorrow. I would invite him over today but I have to go to the agency tonight. I have a show to do."

"They don't give you much notice do they?" Vicky said, chuckling. I shook my head.

"Plus I have to talk Mikey into meeting Felix."

"Why?" she asked frowning.

"He didn't seem too happy when I told him my new friend was a guy, that's all."

She giggled "can't you see, he's jealous. He thinks Felix will take you away from him before he has a chance to ask you out himself" she said knowledgably.

"Yeah right. Since when has Mikey thought of me as anything more than a friend? Anyway, he should know that I wouldn't go off with a guy I had just met, especially as he's a year younger than me. And I don't think I'm quite ready for a relationship just yet. Not after being raped." I trailed off.

We sat in silence for a bit before Vicky spoke "Come on, we better get to class."

I reached behind me and grabbed my stuff. We jumped out of the car and ran towards shelter. We got inside and I checked my sketchbooks to make sure they weren't wet.

Vicky and I met up with Grace and Sambo in the entrance hall and we walked towards one of the homerooms together. Our school was cool. As long as we register in one of the homerooms every morning, we were fine. We usually met in the least populated room everyday. In other words, the one no one else went into.

This year was most of ours last year. Next year, only Will and Matt would be left here. But now Felix would be joining them so it wouldn't be as lonely for them. We found Frank, Will and Matt sitting on one of the couches in the otherwise deserted room.

"Hi guys" I said, walking up to them and sitting down on the couch next to Frank, who as I forgot to tell you before is apparently so clever he got moved up a year. Whoever made that decision was clearly at least one sandwich short of a picnic. Frank is the craziest one of the lot. He makes me look sane.

We started having a random conversation, Frank still bothering me about my art coursework. Five minutes before the bell for first period, the door of the homeroom was thrown open. In the doorway stood a rather wet, bedraggled looking Mikey. It suddenly dawned on me that I was supposed to be picking him up this morning. Gerard usually brought him to school before driving to college but he had to go in early today to start putting up the art exhibition his college was running.

'Shit'.

I got up and ran over to him, "I'm so sorry. I... I was distracted this morning. I have to go do a show tonight. I wasn't thinking."

"Fuck off. You were too busy thinking about that guy you met to even try and remember your other friends."

"What?! No! in case you've forgotten I got raped about two weeks ago, my mother's forcing me to get counselling, my dad died in a car crash I barely survived just over a year ago and one of my closest childhood friends committed suicide recently. I've got plenty on my mind to keep me distracted. My mother is still making me do all these modelling shows. And you're acting like an arsehole over a new friend I made. Fuck you!" I shouted at him.

I turned to go but he grabbed my arm. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"Away from fucking you" I shouted back at him.

We were lucky that we were the only ones who used this homeroom.

"Fucking apologise!" he shouted at me, still grasping my arm.

"I already did!" I exclaimed. He dug his fingers into my arm and I gasped at the pain.

"Mean it" he snarled in my face.

I looked up at him with tear stained eyes and met his gaze.

"I hate you" I said to him barely in a whisper. I pulled my arm out of his grip and walked off. I turned the corner and finally let the tears fall.