You Gotta Smile Sometimes
part 9
Mikey's pov
I stood there in the doorway watching the retreating figure that was the only girl I ever loved and she didn't even know it. Now, because of me, she hated me. I would be lucky if she ever spoke to me again. When she hates someone she can really hate them.
"Are you satisfied now?" I heard Vicky say to me.
I turned round to look at her, she was glaring at me and if looks could kill, I'd be dead now. Before I had the chance to reply, Frank joined in.
"what the fuck is wrong with you man?"
"I... I" I stuttered.
I didn't have anything to say in my defence, not really. I knew that she had a lot gone wrong for her recently. I couldn't help it, and as my knees gave way, I started crying, even though I knew that it was all my fault. Somebody came over and hugged me, I knew I didn't deserve it, they knew I didn't deserve it, but god did I need it. I opened my eyes and looked at who was hugging me. It was Frank. I should've known. He was never one to stay angry at anyone.
The others hovered around us. The girls, especially Vicky, were looking down at me with glares and Vicky was also glaring at Frank for comforting me. I gently detached Frank's arms from around me, trying to tell him without words that I deserved to be feeling this way. He sat on the ground looking at me and as I looked at him, he looked a little lost. He got up and walked over to Grace and tried to hug her. She pushed him off her and again he had that lost look in his eye. He tried to hug her again and she once again pushed him off, but she took his hand and held onto it. Jealousy erupted in my stomach. Why couldn't I have love like that,
' oh yeah, I just shouted at the one I loved, that's why' I reminded myself.
I turned to Vicky, in a bid to try and stop myself from feeling more jealous.
"When... " I licked my lips and started again "when does KitKat have a free?" I asked weekly, my voice cracking.
"Shouldn't you know?" she asked "you're the one whose supposed to be her best friend."
She was still glaring down at me, trying to make me feel more guilty. I stood up.
"Look, there's not point in trying to make me feel any more guilty than I do right now, because I don't think I can."
She looked as if she was about to protest but I cut her off,
"look, I love her" they all looked at me, stunned.
I shrugged "And I'll admit, I got jealous of that new guy. I wasn't thinking straight. And now I may have just ruined my chances of even just being friends with her."
"Well then, it's your own fault you've lost her." Sambo said, scowling at me.
"I know!" I snapped at her "Don't you think I've realised that. But I've got to try and make it up to her."
"Don't you think that she'd be better off without you?!" Sambo said to me.
"No, don't you see. I love her and I kissed her last night."
Again they all seemed suitably stunned by this.
I carried on "And that kiss was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, apart from Kitty moving here. It was just so amazing I can't even describe how it feels. And I think Kitty may have felt that too. I... I think she may... may love me too..."I trailed off towards the end.
They all once again stared at me, but Vicky spoke to me. "She's busy all day. But she has a show tonight. Go to that and try and speak to her afterwards. I can't guarantee that she will speak to you, but you can try."
I looked at her, trying to see whether she was lying to me. Then I remembered that Kitty had indeed said that she had a show tonight, which was why she was distracted.
"I take its in the same place all her other shows are?" I asked Vicky, who shook her head. "I don't know, but Frank has art with her today".
I looked over at Frank.
"I'll ask her and then let Vicky know, so that she can tell you" he said, shrugging.
"Thanks guys" I said, hugging Vicky and then Frank who said,
"Right, we better get to class. We're already late".
We walked out of the homeroom, Frank and I in the opposite direction of the others.
I stood there in the doorway watching the retreating figure that was the only girl I ever loved and she didn't even know it. Now, because of me, she hated me. I would be lucky if she ever spoke to me again. When she hates someone she can really hate them.
"Are you satisfied now?" I heard Vicky say to me.
I turned round to look at her, she was glaring at me and if looks could kill, I'd be dead now. Before I had the chance to reply, Frank joined in.
"what the fuck is wrong with you man?"
"I... I" I stuttered.
I didn't have anything to say in my defence, not really. I knew that she had a lot gone wrong for her recently. I couldn't help it, and as my knees gave way, I started crying, even though I knew that it was all my fault. Somebody came over and hugged me, I knew I didn't deserve it, they knew I didn't deserve it, but god did I need it. I opened my eyes and looked at who was hugging me. It was Frank. I should've known. He was never one to stay angry at anyone.
The others hovered around us. The girls, especially Vicky, were looking down at me with glares and Vicky was also glaring at Frank for comforting me. I gently detached Frank's arms from around me, trying to tell him without words that I deserved to be feeling this way. He sat on the ground looking at me and as I looked at him, he looked a little lost. He got up and walked over to Grace and tried to hug her. She pushed him off her and again he had that lost look in his eye. He tried to hug her again and she once again pushed him off, but she took his hand and held onto it. Jealousy erupted in my stomach. Why couldn't I have love like that,
' oh yeah, I just shouted at the one I loved, that's why' I reminded myself.
I turned to Vicky, in a bid to try and stop myself from feeling more jealous.
"When... " I licked my lips and started again "when does KitKat have a free?" I asked weekly, my voice cracking.
"Shouldn't you know?" she asked "you're the one whose supposed to be her best friend."
She was still glaring down at me, trying to make me feel more guilty. I stood up.
"Look, there's not point in trying to make me feel any more guilty than I do right now, because I don't think I can."
She looked as if she was about to protest but I cut her off,
"look, I love her" they all looked at me, stunned.
I shrugged "And I'll admit, I got jealous of that new guy. I wasn't thinking straight. And now I may have just ruined my chances of even just being friends with her."
"Well then, it's your own fault you've lost her." Sambo said, scowling at me.
"I know!" I snapped at her "Don't you think I've realised that. But I've got to try and make it up to her."
"Don't you think that she'd be better off without you?!" Sambo said to me.
"No, don't you see. I love her and I kissed her last night."
Again they all seemed suitably stunned by this.
I carried on "And that kiss was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, apart from Kitty moving here. It was just so amazing I can't even describe how it feels. And I think Kitty may have felt that too. I... I think she may... may love me too..."I trailed off towards the end.
They all once again stared at me, but Vicky spoke to me. "She's busy all day. But she has a show tonight. Go to that and try and speak to her afterwards. I can't guarantee that she will speak to you, but you can try."
I looked at her, trying to see whether she was lying to me. Then I remembered that Kitty had indeed said that she had a show tonight, which was why she was distracted.
"I take its in the same place all her other shows are?" I asked Vicky, who shook her head. "I don't know, but Frank has art with her today".
I looked over at Frank.
"I'll ask her and then let Vicky know, so that she can tell you" he said, shrugging.
"Thanks guys" I said, hugging Vicky and then Frank who said,
"Right, we better get to class. We're already late".
We walked out of the homeroom, Frank and I in the opposite direction of the others.