Here Lies The Waste

Rachel just stared at me, her eyes full of wonder.
“You can’t leave! What about your family? What about me?”
I looked down, part of what she said pained me.
“What about you..? You’re just this..amazing girl that I’ve gained a friendship with..”
I turned around to look at her.

Her eyes filled with tears, she stood up and walked over to me.
“Don’t say that Will.” her hands reached for my shoulders, I took hold of them in both of mine.
“But It’s true, You’re the only friend I really have here - The phrase I will kill for you is one that I’d never thought would be a reality. My life has you in it forever now. All because of him! You can’t live your life while I’m in it. You need to have a fresh start.”
I continued to look her dead in the eye.
It was hard to say all this - I had to leave her behind.
The harsh realities of this fucking world would be to cruel for her too face.
Especially with me.

“Then let me have one. With you.”
My eyes widened at her proposal - I shook my head immidetley.
“No, I’m not taking you away from your family. You have to stay here - it’s too dangerous.”
She pulled her hands from out of the grasp of mine.
Loose tears now falling from both of her orbs.
“It’s dangerous if you go alone will. You need me.”

What could I do to make her change her mind?
She doesn’t understand.
I had to do this alone.

“You don’t understand - If I take you with me I’ll have to constantly look after you, and for some weird reason you have a trait to attract trouble. My life is gonna change the instant I leave here. And it’s not going to be for the best either.”
I sat down on my bed, staring at the floor - the stained carpet from all of the fast food I’d eat. I wouldn’t see it anymore - not after today.
I was set to leave. Tonight.
Not that long now.

“And you think you can do this on your own?! Will you need me, I got you into this mess - I don’t think you seem to realize that I care for you.”
Where had I heard that before.
“Look - I told you about him. Yet you still put your trust into him and now look. I’m a mess. I did something that I will never forget. And before you start, no I don’t regret stopping him. I just wish things didn’t turn out this way.”
I felt the bed move as she sat down next to me. She took hold of my left hand and started rubbing the back of my hand with her fingers in circular motions.
“Will. Stop lying to yourself. I know you need me with you.”
She moved closer to me then, her eyes flirting with my lips.

My heart jumped.
Was this really happening?
Or was this a trick of hers to make me fall for her idea and bring her with me.
Her face moved closer - her eyes looking at mine and then back at my lips.
I failed.
I was already lured into her trap.

I moved so our noses were almost touching.
And then our lips met.
My free hand was cupped under her jaw - supporting her neck.
Her lips were soft and sweet.
The only piece of hope in me was burning.
I was falling.
Falling fast - but who’d catch me?
I’d never kissed anyone and meant it this much before.
I pulled her towards me - she was almost on my lap.
We continued to kiss - our lips moving together in a familiar pattern.
Exploring each other’s mouths with our tongues.
Disgusting it may sound but it sure didn’t feel it.
I pulled away slightly and pressed my forehead with hers.

“Are you sure you want to come with me..”
She nodded slightly - squeezing my hand
“Yes..you’re my life now. I need you with me - If you leave I‘ll have nothing.”
she started to tear up again. I wiped them away gently.
“Sssh. Rach - I understand okay..I’ve got feelings for you. I may as well admit that or at least tell you now. But - You can come with me. As long as you promise me something.”

“What?”

“Promise me that this isn’t gonna be the last time we kiss cause Jesus Christ..”

she giggled, I couldn’t help but grin.

“Promise.”
I smiled and kissed her again, whilst in the back of my mind - I was awaiting my fears.
Leaving Seattle for good.
With my own sweetheart., not knowing what we will face on the way.