Here Lies The Waste

For the rest of that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about the same pair of sapphire eyes.
They filled up my brain.
I don’t know why exactly but I couldn’t help but take the picture out of my mind.
I lay down on my rickety bed. Smoking.
Exhaling a toxic cloud into the atmosphere every so often.
The ceiling was getting even more cloudy it was almost as if I hadn’t left outside.

The weather wasn’t exactly welcoming.
But this was Washington.
Not always sunny let’s put it that way.
You could class it as the alternative for England.
Sunny and England were hardly ever put in the same sentence.

My room was dark, it hadn’t got much character.
I think it fit well with myself that way.
There were random scribbles all over the walls that I either did with paint of different coloured sharpies.
Sometimes I got artistic. Either wrote things on the walls or drew.
Weird way to present your creativity or what?
I mean I’m not a fucking house decorator.

The next few days that followed were strange.
Rachel seemed un sure whether or not to talk to me or just leave me in my own world that she had suddenly become an important part of.
Eventually we did start talking - much more than usual.
At lunch we’d sit together.
Although there was still a complication.
Jake Harvey.

I was sat at the rejection table at lunch as per usual. Writing in my note pad some random lyrics that came to mind.
The table shook - I looked up and Rachel was hanging over me, her hands pressed firmly down on the table

“Will! Guess what?”
I smiled at her, and shrugged.
“What?”
She sat down, smiling still propping up one side of her face with her hand.
“Jake has actually started being nice with me again. I accidentally walked into him before dropping my books and he smiled and helped me pick them up.”
I raised one of my eyebrows, was she talking about the same Jake that I was thinking about?
“Jake Harvey?”
She nodded.

My heart pounded in my chest like it had never done before.
I didn’t like what was happening here, it didn’t sound right.
But then again I could be over reacting.
He actually might be making an effort.
But that seemed unlikely.

“I thought you and him were like..?”
“Yeah, I know but I don’t know - it’s hard to explain. He’s just being really nice to me all of a sudden.”

I’m not sure why but half of me felt disappointed.
It was like a guys dick suddenly being raised high to be rejected and then loosing all that sensation and suddenly dropping to the floor.
Well not literally - I wasn’t turned on. It was an example of my sudden change of mood.

“What’s wrong will?”
She tapped my arm to get my attention.
I shook my head then looked at her straight in her eyes.
Curiosity and worry filled them.
It was easy to read her mind most of the time.
Her eyes just gave it away.

“Nothing.”
I lied.
I looked down at the table - staring at my note paper.
Reading the words



Nothing fit at the time..
Then I got the perfect ending.



“What are you writing?” she asked - trying to look over at my note pad.
I shook my head, protecting my pad with one hand. But trying to make it discreet.
“Nothing. Just noting some things down for my mom she wants me to go shopping for her tonight.”
Another lie.

She nodded again and sat there silent, staring around with a smile on her face.
Was she thinking about him?
I hope not.