I Need You to Save Me

As I turned on my laptop, I took my guitar out of its case, I felt everyone watching me, and as I started to strum the opening verse, I sighed, and then started to sing,
“I need you to save me from what I’ve become,
I’ve fallen again and again,
Just waiting for you to come.

I’ve known you since we were born,
We grew together, confided in everything,
But one thing I never guessed, was that we could be torn.

Tell me, is Hollywood that good that you just forget about me?
Do you remember you and me?
When we always swore that we’d be here for each other.-”
I was interrupted by the studio door banging open, I jumped, as I turned around, everyone in the room was silent, but I could feel the tension, then I saw who had came inside, Danielle.
After a few minutes silence, Joe spoke, “Danielle, what are you doing here?”
Her eyes narrowed, “Why is she here?” She asked, spitting out the words.
“Because she was singing until you came in.” Joe answered.
“But why was she singing?” She asked, arching a perfect eyebrow.
“Because.” Kevin said, taking a breath starting to talk, “She is a friend of mine, and we were going to record a demo, before we got interrupted.”
She frowned, “But why are you so close to her?”
He shook his head, “We’re friends, nothing more.”
I remembered what Demi had told me about Danielle seeming so oblivious on how much he was in love with her, when we could all see.
Danielle rolled her eyes, “I’m not blind!”
I looked down at my feet,
“Maybe you are, do you not see how true he is to you?” Nick asked in a serious voice.
Danielle looked up to glare at Nick, who looked at her pointedly, “You know I’m right.” He said quietly.
She shook her head, “You’re not.”
Nick sighed, and Joe shook his head.
“So you don’t believe I love you, and only you?” Kevin asked, his voice sounded hurt.
She stared at him expressionless, not answering his question.
“You don’t.” He said quietly, his voice strained.
“Well what am I supposed to think?”
“That I love you?” Kevin asked.
She stared at him, “I have to go.” She said, turning for the door, “We’ll talk later.” She said as she walked out the door.
Kevin sat there staring at the door, looking shocked.
Well when you go, don’t think I’ll make you try to stay, and maybe when you get back I’ll be off to find another way
“Dude are you okay?” Joe asked, walking over to Kevin’s side.
I felt Demi’s hand on my shoulder, I looked up to see her smile at me lightly. “It’ll be okay.” She mouthed.
I wasn’t so sure, so I just nodded slowly.
“How about we take a break here, go get something to eat here?” Nick asked.
“Go where though?” Kevin asked, his voice sounded forced.
“Starbucks? Applebees? Wherever?”
Kevin watched him confused.
“Okay….is anyone hungry?” Nick asked.
Joe, Kevin and Demi nodded, while I shook my head.
“You sure?” Nick asked.
I nodded, “I don’t feel well.” I mumbled.
“Did you eat earlier?” Kevin asked, looking up at me.
I nodded, “I did.” I said quickly, trying to make it sound like I wasn’t lying.
They nodded, “Lets go get food somewhere.”
I told another lie today, and I got through this day, no one saw through my games, I know the right words to say, like “I don’t feel well” Or “I ate before I came”

~oOo~

After we had been in Starbucks for at least half an hour, Joe, Nick and Demi were talking amongst themselves, and Kevin was staring out of the window, at the people passing, rushing back and forth, not noticing who was staring at them, not being aware that anyone was watching them, carefree.
“We’re going to go the beach for a while.” Joe said, smiling at Demi for a second, as he watched Kevin, his face worried, “And I have to go see Miley, you two will be okay together, won’t you?” Nick asked, seeming hesitant to leave, but he was typing on his blackberry as he spoke.
“Yeah, we’ll be fine, go ahead, have a good time.” Kevin said, smiling slightly.
Joe and Demi nodded, as they stood up, Joe helping her into her coat, “See you all soon.” Demi said, grinning widely.
Nick, was still texting, then when he stood up he grinned, “Have a great day.” He said, as he walked out the door, leaving me and Kevin together.
It’s just you and me, and there’s no one around, feel like I’m hanging by a thread, it’s a long way down, I’ve been trying to breathe, but I’m fighting for air.
“What about we go for a walk?” Kevin asked softly, after finishing his coffee.
“Sure, where to?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“How about we go down to the lake?” He asked.
I nodded slowly, “Sounds like a good idea.”
“Can you swim?” He asked, I felt like he was trying to find out would I have been able to have swam if I wanted to the day when he saved me.
I shook my head, “No. I can’t.”
“Oh….I thought you could?” He asked, sounding confused.
I shook my head, “No one ever thought me how to.” I answered truthfully.
“But you jumped in…?”
“I was trying to kill myself.” I said quietly. There was no point in saying, ‘yes, I can swim, I just chose not to.’ That lie could have and would have ruined the friendship between Kevin and I.
And I couldn’t afford to lose him.
He stayed silent, then looked around, “How about we go for a walk through the park instead?” He asked.
I nodded, “If you want to be attacked by fans?” I asked.
“They won’t notice, I have a route that I walk most days, it leads to a wonderful view.” He said smiling slightly.
I stood up, “Lets go then.” I said lightly.
We walked out of star bucks, I saw Kevin look up at the sky, then he frowned slightly, “In the perfect L.A. it looks like a storm is coming.” He said quietly, although the first part sounded sarcastic.
I looked up at the sky, “We don’t have to go for a walk then..” I mumbled.
He shook his head, and sighed, “I want to, I need air, I need to clear my mind.” He said, glancing down at me.
“You okay?” I asked. I knew that the Danielle thing was bothering him.
He sighed as we crossed the road, entering the park, “I’m fine, it just bothers me that she actually thinks I’m cheating on her.” He said quietly.
I looked up at him, “I could always disappear so she wouldn’t think that anymore. I know you love her.”
He looked down at me, and it looked as though he was hesitating, “I do love her. I just feel like she doesn’t trust me. I don’t want to lose you , Lauren. You’re a friend, and friends come before girlfriends, right?” He asked, arching an eyebrow, as we walked.
I laughed lightly, “Or friends before boyfriends.” I said teasingly.
He grinned at me, as he walked, “I wonder sometimes does she love me back.” He said quietly, as though he was reflecting on it.
I looked ahead of me, “Well, if she doesn’t, she’s an idiot.”
Walking the streets with you and your worn out jeans, can’t help thinking to myself this is how it ought to be.
He smiled down at me, “Thanks for that.” He said lightly, “Hey, we’re here…” He said as we walked through the trees, I looked around, it was like a cliff, but a view point, it had benches there, and picnic benches, it was pretty, but I could hear the sea crashing up against the cliffs below us, usually the water was calm. Kevin was right, a storm was coming.
I walked over to the edge of the cliff and looked down, the water looked almost.. vicious?
I turned around, walking over to Kevin, who was sitting on one of the benches, looking up at the sky, that was getting darker by the minute.
“We probably should get going, soon.” He said quietly, as I sat beside him.
“Even though we just got here.”
“I know.” He mumbled.
“Oh well, we wouldn't want to get killed by a storm now, would we?” I asked, teasingly, trying to make him smile, and it wasn’t really working.
He made a face, “Oh no, definitely not.” He answered back his voice sarcastic.
I laughed quietly, and I saw his shoulders shake for a moment with silent laughter.
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself, ‘Hey isn’t this easy?’ And you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town, haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down,
“Are you alright?” I asked, worried.
“I’m fine.”
You say you’re fine, I know you better than that. Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that?
“You don’t seem so sure.”
“I had it all planned out..” He mumbled.
I looked up at him, confused, “You had what planned out?”
He looked embarrassed, “I was thinking about proposing. Tonight. When she said she’d talk to me later, that’s what went through my mind.”
I felt my mouth drop open with shock, and I couldn’t speak, so I just stared at him.
He wasn’t looking at me, he was looking out at the sea, the sky was getting darker, still.
And the clouds from ripping out my broken heart.
I tried to find my voice, “Really?” I whispered.
He nodded, not looking at me, “Yes. Apparently she wants to talk to me later, I was planning to ask her, after she came over from New Jersey.”
I crossed my arms, “And are you?”
He looked down at me, “Am I what?”
“Going to ask her?”
“I don’t know..I don’t have a ring. But I’m thinking of asking her.”
I nodded slowly, trying to process all this, “Okay…”
Pretend I’m okay with it all, act like there’s nothing wrong, is it over yet? Can I open my eyes? Is this as hard as it gets? Is this what it feels like to really cry?
I wiped a stray tear away from my eye, before Kevin could see it, I just didn’t get it, she didn’t act like she loved him, and he deserved someone who could love him, and I didn’t know why I felt almost angry? Not at him, but at her.
There was a crash of thunder in the distance.
“We probably should go.” Kevin mumbled.
I nodded slowly, “Yeah, it looks as though it’s going to be a bad storm.”
He stood up, holding out his hand for me, I took it, and stood up, then let go. Even though I didn’t want to let go.
I felt drops of rain fall down, and I sighed, “I have to go back to the studio to get my laptop and guitar.”
Kevin checked his watch and nodded, “Will you be able to get home okay without me?”
I stared at him confused, “Yes. Why?”
“It’s five o clock, I have to meet up with Danielle at six.”
I bit my lip as we walked back the way we had came, “I see. And you want to be perfect when you pop the question.” I said, not as a question, but as a fact.
He nodded, “How did you know?”
“I know you.” I said quietly. I saw him look at me, then away again, as we reached the sidewalk, he remained silent, as we started to walk in the direction of the studio.
“So….will you tell me how it goes? Later on?” I asked, trying to break the silence.
“Um, sure.” He said, sounding as though I’d just pulled him out of a daydream.
I smiled slightly, “Thanks.”
He nodded, as we reached the studio, he opened the door for me and I walked in, “Thanks.”
“No problem.” He said lightly, as we walked into the room we were in earlier, I picked up my guitar and laptop, and turned around, the room was so quiet, the only noise was Kevin’s breathing, and mine, and every now and then a random crash of thunder from outside, I just hoped I’d be home before the lightening strikes.
“I have enough time to drive you back to your house, if you’d like?” He offered, a small smile on his face.
“If you’re sure?” I asked.
He nodded, “I am.”
I smiled at him, “Thank you.”
“No problem.” He said, opening the door for me, I walked though and out to his car.
When we arrived in front of my house, I opened the door, but turned back to Kevin, “Good luck tonight.” I said quietly.
He smiled, “Thank you, I’ll call you later.”
“See you.” I said lightly, as I closed the door, and ran up the path, the rain was getting heavier, the sky was almost black and there was still thunder every few minutes. At least there was no lightening yet.
I walked inside, and walked up to my room, laying my laptop on my bed, and placing my guitar on it’s stand in the corner.
I sighed to myself, as I walked over to my C.D player, and just pressed play. Hearing ‘Heaven Help Us’ by My Chemical Romance start to play, I smiled slightly, as I went to stare out my window, wondering when the first strike of lightening was going to strike, and how bad it would be, and what Danielle's answer would be.
I’m in my room, it’s a typical Tuesday Night, I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like, she’ll never know your story like I do.