Boy Proof

I watched as he leaned back into the classroom and said a few words to the classroom, to her. Then he came to me moving down the hallway with his lofty stride.

"So what's up? Why do you want to talk?"

"I can't be your friend anymore," I gushed before I lost my courage. "Sorry but I can't. Not while you and Holly are together at least."

"What?!" he exclaimed. "Why?"

I couldn't answer why. Because I was jealous? Because I wanted him for myself? Or because I was a selfish friend who wanted focused attention upon myself all the time? Or because I was angry at him for not mentioning his girlfriend to me?

It didn't really matter though. For some reason it was painful to be around him. And the best way to avoid pain is to break off its source.
Got cancer? Here, have some radiation. Zap that shit away before it kills you.

"I have to go now," was all I said.

Then I left. It should have been some dramatic exit where he came running after me and where we would make up and discover what exactly we were to each other. But it wasn't. Because as I was leaving, Holly called him from the classroom and he went running to her. Abandoning me once again.

It didn't matter if I was selfish or if I loved him; it only mattered that it hurt.