Boy Proof

Holly was heavy on Devin’s lap, but he did nothing to move her. She was kissing his neck in sporadic little pecks, making him think – oddly enough -- of a bird attacking a worm. He tried to make himself kiss her back, but he couldn’t. Instead, he sighed, his breath whistling past Holly’s ear and fluttering her hair.

Holly, picking up that Devin wasn’t fully into their makeout session, stopped nuzzling his neck, sat up, and looked down into his eyes.

“Is something wrong?” she asked. Her own eyes were puzzled. Was Devin coming down with something? A cold perhaps? And, if so, should she be worried about catching it?

“No, nothing’s wrong,” he said, and Holly relaxed. She wouldn’t have to drink ten glasses of orange juice that night to stock up on vitamin C after all.

“Well, in that case,” she said, nestling back up to him, “where were we?”

She nibbled his ear, Devin sighed, and Holly – frustrated at being stopped for the second time – moved off his lap. The heaviness he had felt on his thighs dissipated, and for that he was thankful. Yet he wasn’t thankful for the earful he was sure to get from Holly.

“What’s up with you today?” she asked suspiciously.

He wondered the same thing. Any other day he’d be happily nuzzling Holly’s neck back, but today, he just wasn’t into it. Why? But then, didn’t he know why?

Alexandria.

Why had she had to ruin it? End their friendship? Bring attention to exactly how much she meant to him before permanently distancing herself from him?

But wait . . . Dree had never said anything about never talking to him ever again. No, she had only said it’d be best if they didn’t spend as much time around each other.

That thought gave him hope, but hope for what he didn’t exactly know. It seemed to him that he had only a few options in front of him, and none of them looked good.

He could stay with Holly, forget Dree entirely, and hope that everything turned out for the best. Or he could cool things down with Holly, pay more attention to his friends, and hope that everything turned out for the best. Or he could kick Holly to the curb, confess his love to Dree, and – what? – hope that she loved him back and that everything would turn out for the best.

Like he thought, none of the options looked good. In any of them, nothing was certain, and he risked losing someone he cared for – whether that someone was his current love interest or the girl that had fascinated him since he had first laid eyes on her.

Devin wished very much that his problem would go away. He had never been good at confrontations, and making decisions had never been his strong suit. He most certainly didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he knew that with each passing minute the problem grew bigger and bigger. Soon what had started out as a little blackhead of a problem would be a festering, pus-filled pimple. And the aftermath – the eventual pop – would be ten times worse than the original problem.

He had to make a decision – and soon! But what decision would that be?

“I’m just tired,” he finally answered Holly, and he truly was. It was exhausting work to think about the future, especially when that future inevitably held hurting someone he cared for.

“Oh,” said Holly. “I guess I’ll just go then. You get some rest, okay?”

“Okay,” Devin replied, and with that, Holly stood, gathered her things, and was out the door.

Watching her go, Devin was hit with a round of loneliness. He wanted Holly around -- she was good company, after all – but he missed Dree as well. With Alexandria, he didn’t have to pretend to like things that he didn’t or say things that he didn’t want to say. He didn’t have to lie – mostly because Dree knew what he was thinking and he couldn’t lie -- and he appreciated that.

But, if he chose to be completely honest with himself, the inability to be mysterious and coy with Dree also irritated him. He wanted to be able to say things and to have her wonder what exactly he meant. As it was, Dree always seemed to see right through him. Holly didn’t, and he liked that in her.

Round and round his thoughts went. Holly, Dree, Holly, Dree. He couldn’t have both, but he wished that he could. If only he could play Frankenstein and created his own perfect woman, a combination of all the best aspects of Dree and Holly! Alas, that also wasn’t possible.

The only thing he knew for certain, then, was that he would eventually have to choose a girl and that whoever it wasn’t wasn’t going to be too thrilled with him.