Like Two Starcrossed Lovers

It seemed as if everyone in New Jersey decided to take the same road tonight, I don’t know how many times we almost rear-ended someone that would speed up then halt right in the middle of the traffic. I looked at Mikey in the rear view mirror, “You nervous?” he asked, was I nervous? Yes, very, very nervous… more like… petrified, “No, not really.” I lied, “Good, it will be the time of your life.” he said patting my knee. We had taken Cody’s Black Trailblazer, it was very roomy and wide so you could reach around to face the people in the front seat easily. “Shhi…” Cody mumbled quickly as the SUV jerked forward, sending everyone face first into anything in front of them. After a lot of dodging and honking we had gotten there.
I swear I felt a little whiplashed.

From the time we pulled in everything just seemed so… odd, surreal. Gerard had said they’ve made a lot of friends at this arena, but I didn’t know exactly what they meant until now. It started in the parking lot. Apparently there had been a malfunction with the electricity so we had about thirty minutes to kill before we could go in, so we just sat around on the tail gate. It was still light out so you could see the city, it looked like about a million Christmas bulbs against a glitter bug twilight scene, it was beautiful. I was real caught up in the moment until I noticed a group of guys standing around a keg of beer, they were so loud, it was as if they wanted us to hear every curse word and non-itelligible sentence they produced, I guess they noticed us too, because this one guy kept leering at us, I’m serious, if ‘shooting looks’ was something you could actually do, then we’d be Swiss cheese right now. I looked over at Gerard, he noticed him also, I saw his blank smirk turn into a scowl, “Whoa man, don’t let that one near the brew, gonna drown this time or wha?” The one guy said while nudging his buddy, “oh yeah! That camel’s gonna drink us all away!” he sneered, Cody and Mike caught on to it also, “ oh I won’t drown in alcohol, just your tears when I hit you and nail your mom.” Gerard smirked some more. “What was that about?” I asked Mike once things got started, “Don’t worry 'bout it.” he said cutting across to give the tickets to the main desk.

The doors opened and a flood of sweaty, hot, grimy, black wearing bodies filled the center, it was so crowded, you couldn’t take a breathe without breathing in someone else. I found my self smashed in between Mikey and the mass which I didn‘t mind, to be honest, it was just so crowded, but when Gerard wants to get somewhere, he gets there. After a lot of shoving, pushing, and “Get out of my eff-ing ways”, we ended up at the bar. Of course. “Four shooters.” Gerard told the tender, showed him an ovbiously fake i.d., about a second later, there was a little shot glass of whiskey in front of me. “Ummm…I don’t really-” I stammered but they cut me off, “Just one drink, you‘ll need it.” Mikey coaxed “ It‘s not gonna-err- kill ya.” Gerard said burping, endless glasses just coming to him, so I put my lips to the cup, it burned going down and it burned sitting in my stomach
“Eww.” I shivered. Suddenly, the lights went dim and a bunch of old but scary looking guys, I’m guessing Slayer, appeared onstage. With this event, I found myself being herded back into the sea of terror.

It was so loud, you couldn‘t even hear what was being screamed at you, I know it was something about being ripped apart and if we were ready for something, I just don‘t know what it was. Cody asked me something, I could see his lips moving but I heard no words, “WHAT?!!!” I shouted over a guitar riff, he pressed his lip to my ear, I could smell the whiskey on him, “HAVE YOU EVER MOSHED?!!!” I shook my head no. “You’ll love it.” Mikey added as the first song ended, I felt all the blood rush out of my face “But I-…” I began, but I was drowned out by the next track, another song I didn’t know or could translate for that matter. “Mikey, wait-” I pleaded feeling my heart sink into my stomach, I had seen kids that had moshed in the ER one time when I needed stitches in my thumb for trying to fix a broken lamp, it wasn’t pretty, they had been air lifted to the hospital.
We stopped at a denser part of the crowd and waited a bit as the song ended then another followed, Mikey pulled me into the rim of a forming ring of men that shook with thundering motion. I saw Gerard and Cody dive into it, they landed on their shoulders, but quickly got on their feet and dissapered among all the masses of guys and butch looking girls. A few minutes later while trying to find a clearing, Mikey grabbed my hand and we dove in also. It was okay for a bit, the blasting of the music, we were laughing, spinning, and bouncing up and down like jack-hammers. People pushing and bouncing off of us, “DEATH IS BUT A VERB, LIFE IS BUT A HELL! COME ON MY CHILDREN! DOOM THEM ALL WELL!” we were jumping and thrashing, then BOOM! Some guy did some sort of whirl-kick, and got Mikey right in the jaw sending him crashing down. Wow, I never knew his head could bounce. “GIVE THEM THE WARS THEY’RE ALL DYING FOR, GIVE IT NEW JERSEY! LET’S EVEN THE SCORE!!!” I glanced around disoriented, then looked back, he was lying on the floor face-up, but before I could help him, some green haired guy and his freak buddy picked me up and did a 360 with me in his arms, “PUT ME DOWN!!!” I bellowed but as soon as I did, I wish I hadn’t, “OKAY!” he shouted smiling as he dropped me, then shoved me up against his friend and rammed his tongue in my mouth, his hands and I-don't-want-to-know-what were jabbing at me in the waist. “Oomph.” the dude whimpered about a (what felt like a year) millisecond later as a force pulled us apart, I felt my face burning with embarrassment, “If I catch you near her again, we will destroy you got it? DESTROY YOU!” I opened my eyes, there, Cody had the guy in a headlock while Gerard held his head up, the guy’s nose was bleeding and he was quite pale. Cody let the guy go and once they started my way, I just fell in Gerard's arms, I don’t know why. Maybe because I had been mortified and I was exhausted, but it felt good to be held, “Shh. It’s okay, everything’s okay, let’s get them to the bar.” he soothed as he hoisted Mikey up off the ground with one arm, Mikey stumbled then slumped over Cody’s shoulder, Gerard himself was a bit wobbly also.

“You alright?” Gerard asked me as I sat down on a stool, the tender gave me a water then shook his head pitifully, “Yeah.” I told Gerard, he nodded okaying this information then ordered a Smirnoff, Cody appeared at my side, “You sure you’re ok?” he asked in a soft voice, it amazes me that people can be so violent one minute, then be all caring and kind the next, “I’m fine.” I smiled. Mikey was okay now too, he staggered towards me and put his hand on my cheek, it was cool to my face making my anger with him from dragging me into the portal of hell disappear, his voice was wet when he apologized, “It’s okay, I’m okay.” I assured him, although it didn’t really matter, he was going to worry either way, after all, he was supposed to keep me safe. We stayed for a few more songs then left the stage.

I looked at the clock that was over the main entrance door, 1:11 am, so much for curfew. It was freezing as we got out of the exiting traffic, was I really that hot?

There was a pretty long walk down the side of the building to the parking lot, I looked behind me, Gerard was straying away from the straight line in which we were walking, in fact, he seemed to be swaying to each side, I looked at the other guys, he had been drinking a lot, about four beers, two Jack Daniels, three Smirnoff’s, plus all those shooters. I looked at the others. When I looked back Gerard wasn’t there, “Um, where’s Gee…” I said tuning myself around and right there. In the middle of the sidewalk… laid Gerard. The others turned also, their faces hardened, “Aww, man.” Mikey said as he and Cody went over to him. “I can nowt go anymoreeees.” he garbled, “Come on.” Cody said giving him a push. “I said I cannowts go anymores.” he said again, he looked up at the sky, “Fuck, isss a niwce night” he whispered “oooh, I don’t feel so ah, goowd.” he said getting up, I turned away expecting the worst, but he only spat, “Haw, I gowtcha!” he laughed at me, then he passed out on the grass. “Is he gonna be okay?” I asked searching for their expressions, “I think so, he always does this whenever we go out.” Mikey said walking over to him and poking him in the leg with his foot. “Yeah every time.” Cody agreed. I looked around, there was a good mile and a half before the parking lot, plus actually getting to the car, “So what are we going to do?” I asked sheepishly.

I got my answer as we lugged all 192 pounds of the drunken Gerard. “You think he’s dead?” I asked panting as I trotted trying to keep up with the rest of the lifeless body. We sat him in the back seat, his head rolled making his long locks fall into his face. I pushed them away off his forehead, Mikey bit his lip and turned away, I know…bad move. I looked at him, “Yeah he will be… until he’s banging down my door for me to make his coffee in the morning.” Mikey said sarcastically with a frown then got in the passengers side and slammed the door.

I sat with my head pressed to the window, I just knew my parents were going to ground me, I just knew it. We pulled up in front of my house, to my surprise (and relief) they weren’t home, at least their car wasn’t there. My future had been spared. I planned sneaking in and getting in bed without anyone knowing what time I had come in, but suddenly Gerard rose from the dead and decided he had to pee. So we all went in. I opened the door quietly, “There you are.” a deep voice mumbled, I jumped up three feet in the air, too startled to answer, I went in all the way and turned on the lights, my hands fumbling over the switch, it was only Zac, “Zachary Nathaniel Tyler! Jeeez… you scared me half to death!” I whispered angrily, “Where’s mom and dad?” “They had to run over to Aunt Dora’s, apparently Uncle Jed was having chest pains and they freaked.” he said hollowly as he observed Gerard. “It’s down the hall.” I pointed for Gerard, he went the opposite direction, I blushed from embarrassment, thankfully Mikey turned him around. Zac glared.
“Who drove?” he asked, only it sounded like a demand, “I did.” Cody said in my save, "I'm straight edge." Zac’s face softened and he smiled a little. Cody smiled back. Gerard came back from the loo and crashed, once again, only on the couch and started mumbling words with various syllables again, Zac stared in disgust. Thank fully though, Cody started a conversation with Zac and I got to sneak off to the screen room with Mikey.

The night was pitch black and very few stars were out but many, many crickets, it was beautiful. The screen room has always been my favorite place. It’s on the side of the house connected to the kitchen were it over looks the woods that surround our street. Mom uses it as a green room to hang all our unwanted spider plants that my Aunt Nikki keeps giving us for occasions like Earth day, mother’s day, Easter, birthdays, anniversaries, and many other holidays that she chooses to torture us with them. So we put them out here. well lately mom has been studying Asian arts of Zen and the peace in nature, so she made it look like one big jungle complete with hibiscus flower trees, a hammock, and a tiny in-door pond. Mikey was walking around looking at things and admiring everything to it’s entirety, intently with a curious smile on his lips. “Odd isn't it? It’s not your every day back porch.” I put in as I was watching him, “I love it.” he said looking at me puzzled, “It’s not odd. It’s nice.” he said looking out past the trees to his house. "Ah, now I see why you like it." he said with a laugh then sat down beside me on the hammock, he pushed his glasses up on his nose nervously making a few pieces of his straightened caramel hair fall between the lenses. I noticed another thing, he had a patch of light freckles spreading across his nose, and his eyelashes were longer than mine by like, two times. He was just so darn cute. He began biting his nails and shying away from me. I was hurt, “What‘s wrong with you?” I mumbled feeling self conscious, “Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?” he asked looking down into his lap where his hands were folded, “Oh…” I sighed relieved that it wasn’t what I thought, “how much?” I whispered looking at him, trying to meet his gaze. “…a lot…” he said quietly, his dark Periodot eyes still glued to his hands, “Oh.” I whispered. “why can’t you?” I asked softly, “I don’t know, I thought maybe you didn’t like me that way, you said we were just friends, and I can see that because I'm sure you don't want someone like me to be with you.” I stopped him, “Our worlds will never be a problem, no matter how different they are, you understand? And I’ll be sixteen soon, and we will graduate together. You don’t have to worry about that.” I said scooting closer to him he only seemed farther away, “It’s not that, I just thought…You didn’t like me the same way as I like you.” he mumbled, “I will never be good for you, just look at my social life.” he added, I touched his chin and turned his face toward me, to help him try to understand. “You are emo, I am prep? It's nothing, just some stupid lables. It will be no problem, I’ll even go on tour with you and the band if you ever do, it will be fine.” I told him, “It’s not that!” he said loudly, “I don’t care how they don't matter, it does matter, it’s that I’m a nerd! A geek! An emo fuck! Just ask anyone. and Gerard is so…” I stopped him there. I couldn’t stand to see him this way. I put both my hands on each side of his face, he sighed, for a minute I just did that, held his face between my hands, then pressed my lips softly to his, he caught on and began to kiss me back, his arms folding on my shoulders, his hands cupping each shoulder blade.
Four minutes of this and he stopped, “You would really go on tour with us?” he asked me, his face a few inches away, “yeah, why not?” I shrugged, “Cause, we got a signed with a record label.” he said closing his eyes then trying for another four minutes, “You did?” I sprang almost hitting heads., “when? With who?” I begged for him to tell me, “Last Friday, at another gig, some guy who said he liked what he heard and told us he’d help with making a Cd, we should be touring around the state in about a year.” he said then pulling me back into his grip. “Wow, how long have you guys been playing before now?” I asked him scooting out of his reach, “about two years, playing mainly around a few counties, this time we are going big.” I pondered this for a bit, “and you have a year to make a cd so you can get gigs around the states?” I asked making clear of this, “Yep, then after about a year with that, we make a second one, and it repeats.” he said pouting that I had escaped, “Wow.” I said, then gave in and let him kiss me again, his lips were a little more firm this time, the heat from his breath warming my cheeks, his arms moved from my shoulders to
draping around my waist, it was the closest thing to heaven.

A minute passed and he told me he had to get Cody home, and get himself home to the Tylenol and coffee. I kissed him lightly on the cheek and we walked back to the front room. Cody and Zac were in an intent debate on Anti-Flag versus Iron Maiden. Gerard was still collapsed on the couch. Mikey gathered his friends after Cody had realized we were standing there and they left.

After that, all I wanted to do was get into some boxers and drink some tea with a good chick flick. I changed my clothes and had a steaming cup of Chai before you could say ’Home Sweet Home’ , I hunkered down on the couch and turned on 'Mean Girls', but something curled up beside me before I could even hit play. “Zac?” I asked looking at him crookedly, he didn’t respond, just stared at the TV., I poked at him, he looked back at me, “Nothing, will you be okay here? I’ve got plans.” he said then staring back at the screen, “Yea, I guess.” I shrugged, then he was gone. It was really weird.

That night while I was sleeping, I had a night mare that Gerard had gotten really drunk, I was stuck in the middle of a highway like my feet were cemented into the concrete, and Mikey was on the other side of me making me in the middle of them. Cars were coming straight at us, I was screaming for Mikey to get me unstuck and save me from being run down, but he just pointed to Gerard, he was closer to me, I started screaming at him to save me, but he had drank too much to even tell…I jumped up, sweating and crying, I sat there gasping, trying to realize that it wasn’t really happening, when I heard another sound coming from up the hall. I got to my feet and turned into the arched hallway to where the other two bed rooms are. It was really dark and kind of creepy knowing I was all alone, at least I thought that I was alone, a thumping sound rang through the empty hall, where was the dog? Some guardian. I thought as I rounded the corner that led to the foyer and in the shadows was a heap of black against the wall. I slowed down and crept towards it, I guess expecting it to growl at me or something, but it just was there, quivering.
As I came closer I realized it was not a something but a someone, “Go away, Lauren.” it said, the voice filled with agony, I stopped dead in my tracks, “I said go a-wa-hay-hay-ay. Please. I don’t want you to see me like this.” it said again only through a sob. I hit the light with my shaking hand, only to discover my brother dying. “Zac?!” I said while my eyes adjusted to the brightness, “Zac!” I gasped, in full view of something I wish I had never seen, “Lau-…” he tried to say but broke into another sob, I rushed to his side, and realized why he didn’t want me to see him. “Oh my God! What happened to you?” I demanded, he lifted his face up at me, I lost my breath, someone had beaten the shit out of him and he had freshly cut arms, that were also bleeding, only a lot worse than I could ever describe. “They…they, they lied to me.” he said as he quivered, “Who?! Who did this to you?!” I begged, hugging him, “Paul…and, and Jason…and Kent…they knew, they found out…and they did this-” he stopped and convulsed into another weep, “Your friends? I thought they were your friends? What did they find out? Please! Tell me!” I pleaded he gulped, “We all went down to the lake, at least I-I thought. They said they had some beer and pot, we were just gonna hang out. Then,… then we pulled up…and they had four other guys waiting for us there, someone found out, and they…” he whimpered, “And they what?” I kept him going, “and they made a circle around me and asked me if it was true, I told them no,” he winced, “I called them liars, I told them ’they were full of shit!” he shouted, “but they just smiled, they already knew, there were pictures in school, people were talking about it, it was a rhetorical question, they had their answer and they had…me, they left me there to rot, but I came to and left.” I looked at him skeptically, he wasn’t finished, “and I tried this.” he cried holding up his arms, I guess then it hit me, it hit me hard. “Zac!” I wailed, then held him against me, “you are going to bleed out!” I yelled, “Good.” he said then tried to squirm away, apparently he was bruised also, “NO! I will NOT let you finish this!” I said then helped him to his feet, “I’m calling 911.” I mumbled steadying him against the hall bathroom sink then I fled to the kitchen phone, he didn’t put up a fight, I was sure he would protest, but he let me go. I dialed as fast as I could and told them he had been in a car accident and drove himself home. They believed my lie and the ambulance was here in less than fifteen minutes, while waiting, I put pressure on his wrists to stop the bleeding, he was turning very pale.

The E.M.T.S came right in with their medical equipment, nodded at me as I tried to explain the ‘accident ’, Zac went along with it also, filling in his own lies and excuses, they told me he would need stitches and possibly x-rays, so we piled into the ambulance, I stood with him the whole time, I wanted him to know there was someone who did love him no matter what he thought. They took him in and left me in the waiting room right outside his door, not the waiting room that patients wait in, but a personal one, like the kind you wait in when your aunt is giving birth, the kind that plays soft jazz music and has that horrid floral wallpaper and that eerie emptiness to it, the kind that could make you go crazy while waiting. So in my spare time, I called my parents and told them the same lie I had told the paramedics, and the doctor, and myself, to keep me from having horrible thoughts. They freaked out but not as bad as they would have if I had told them what really happened. It was a short call, mother told me she was going to force my father to drive her home as soon as they had everything up there under control, I replied that we’d be just fine until she came.

Waiting…waiting…still waiting.

Two hours have past, oh man, it’s only been a few minutes. I’m must be more tired than I thought.

Finally, the doctor comes in, “So tell me the worst.” I mumbled, “The worst,” he stated, “Is that he has a sprained arm, two broken ribs, stitches in his wrists, concussion, and many other bruises.” I nodded, “Okay, my parents will pay you as soon as they come home, is it all right if we leave tonight?” I asked almost begging, “Well he should stay. He’s pretty hurt.” I didn’t like that answer, “Well my parents are four hours away.” I said irritated, “Well, I’m sorry.” then he turned and left.

I followed the nurse to his room, he laid in a bed staring blankly at the wall. “Hey,” I said softly, he didn’t look at me, “The doctor said we have to stay, but mom and dad are on their way.” I tried again, “I should have gone with overdosing.” he mumbled never meeting my eyes. “GOD NO!” I shouted, he looked at me, “What do you care? I’m just your brother.” he whispered, I flew to face him, “I love you, you are more than just my brother you are my friend, well at least until recently that you have been so… so angry.” I pleaded, tears dwelled in his eyes but his expression stayed the same , “Well, I don’t know why you should care, not after the way I’ve been treating you.” he whispered, I couldn’t take this, I wrapped him in a hug whether he liked it or not. I sat down with him in my arms, I was careful not to squeeze though, soon he started hugging me back. “I care about you, I always will. You can talk to me about anything no matter what it is.” I mumbled, He nodded, “by the way, what was it they hated you so much for?” I asked releasing him, “Well for one, I look like a warlock, and that I’m…gay. Maybe, I’m not sure, but they…like I said, they found pictures and just ruined me.” I sat bewildered, “are you disgusted?” he asked hurt, “No! I’m just confused, you’ve had girlfriends before.” I gave him a quizzical look, “I said I’m not sure, I guess I didn’t want to think about it then.” he said gazing out the window in thought. “Well I don’t care either way, you are my brother.” he smiled, “or sister, whichever you want.” he smiled again.

My parents arrived shortly after our heart-to-heart, as I knew they would, they freaked out. But they calmed a little after we gave them our well thought out excuse. We were finally able to go home. Yes!

I stumbled up the stairs and fell, exhausted, into my bed.