First Try

Andy's POV

After half a minute inside the dressing room with Brendon, my lips seemed to have found their way onto his, moving against his own - a frenzied kiss we never expected we would share. Hands I had no control over gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head before pushing him to sit down on the chair. He stared up at me in a daze, probably wondering what the fuck has gotten into this girl?, but I gave him no chance to voice out his thoughts. I carefully straddled his lap, making sure I wouldn't be causing his injuries to get worse. But that careful disposition soon detoriated, my lips finding his again, our warm breaths ghosting over the other's lips as my hands found their way around his neck, and his arms wrapped around my waist.

My thoughts started to drift away from that moment.

I had no ready explanation for Brendon, if and when he asks why after all this, because I had no idea as well. Nothing could have driven me to the point where I would cheat on Ryan with his best friend. But was this even cheating? God knows we love each other, but he and I had never properly gotten back together after Keltie and after Brendon.

Maybe I was doing this out of pity for Brendon and for me.

Brendon - because, I knew for a fact that I hadn't been treating him the way he I should have when he needed help. Those weeks when he would just curl up on his side of the bed and stare at the wall until sleep claimed him were probably the most silent nights I had ever experienced with him. So I felt bad, because I knew I could've convinced him to turn over and cuddle with me, to let him know that I would be there to take away his pain and suffering. But I couldn't do it, because I was still so lost in my own happy world with Ryan.

Me - because, well, I knew that Ryan had so easily tossed me aside once and had gotten together with Keltie, and then when Keltie left, he took me back for a while because he claimed he loved me, and that he never intended to hurt me. I believed him, succumbing to his world where Keltie and our break up never existed, and where it was just him and me for longer than forever. But he tossed me aside again, when Keltie came back, because he didn't want her to be suspiscious of what had been going on between him and I for the time that she was gone. I played along, staying with Brendon most of the time so I wouldn't have to watch him and her do the same things he and I were doing just a while back.

Now, I had no clue where we stood. The idea that we were together, not, or just on the brink of insanity escaped me. I knew nothing, save for Brendon. I knew that I wanted him. Or maybe, no, I wanted Ryan to be him, to be everything that Brendon was.

But if that were so, then my heart wouldn't be beating for Ryan, but it would be for Brendon.

"Where are you?" I felt lips moving against mine in sync with the distant voice I heard speak to me.

My mind drifted back to Brendon and to the dressing room.

"Hmm?" I asked, leaning my forehead on his.

"You were responding, but you weren't here with me. What were you thinking of?" He gently placed a hand on my neck and began stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"Just how much I feel like I shouldn't have done this to you... or to Ryan," I explained to him, pulling away from his touch and his piercing eyes, and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Can I ask why you did it in the first place?"

I shook my head. No, he couldn't, because I would have no answer.

"Too bad - I'm asking. Why'd you do it?"

I smiled, if only for a while, but because he's just gifted with that power. The power to manipulate your emotions.

Fuck this boy for being so amazing.

Fuck him good.

"I don't... I don't know, Bren. Maybe I'm going crazy - for you. I don't know how it happened. Maybe I just don't want Ryan anymore, maybe I just want to get back at Ryan, maybe-"

"I regret asking. C'mon, we should probably keep on trying out these clothes if we wanna buy them," he cut in, patting my shoulder gently.

I nodded and pulled away, standing up. I watched him struggle, but succeed, to stand up from the chair and smile at me.

"You know, Bren," I told him, letting my eyes drift from his naked torso to the door of the room. "There are a lot of people out there that want to try on clothes too."

I smirked and looked back at him and his quirked eyebrow.

He smiled.

"Let's share this dressing room, then."

"Exactly what I was thinking."