We Both Need to Change

The first day of school is always tough. Especially when just yesterday you saw the guy you’re attracted to snogging some blonde.

Flashback:

I arrived at the party, in black skinny jeans, a blue off-shoulder shirt and black pumps and black hoop bracelets for accessories. I surveyed the house, I didn’t find anyone I knew in the living room. So, I went to the kitchen. I found Tom, Clara – Curtis’ girlfriend - and the rest of Bring Me The Horizon there. I have met the rest of the boys a while back, about 2 months ago. And we’ve all gotten a long well.

Clara was leaning into Curtis, “Hey Kace!” she greeted me. The rest greeted me a second later.

“Glad yeh made it,” said Tom raising his red cup, he was sitting on top of the bar counter swinging his legs.

I nodded, “Yeah, I wasn’t going to go though but I changed my mind because Clara here,” I gestured at her, “Wouldn’t stop texting me.”

“Well, nice job, love,” Curtis cooed to Clara, “Yeh got ‘er to leave ‘er house n’ go to one of our parties.” And then they kissed.

“Yeh want a drink?” asked Lee. I nodded, he looked over her shoulder, “Matt, get up from down there and make Kacy ‘ere a wicked drink.”

Seconds later, Matt N. (also the guy in the grocery store who Oli called Perv) came up from the bar, “Wha’ d’you want? A soft drink or somethin’ strong?” he asked me smiling.

I bit my lip, I really hated drinkin’, “Do you just have soda?”

“C’mon, Kace! Live a bit! Party!” said Matt K.

“Well, it’s my first day tomorrow, and I don’t wanna have a hung over on my first day of school,” I explained, “D’you have something soft that wouldn’t make me feel like shit tomorrow mornin’?” I asked.

Matt N frowned, “I was hopin’ yeh would ask for somethin’ exciting… but anyway, yeh I have somethin’ that wouldn’t make yeh feel like shit t‘morrow.”

I looked away as Matt N. made my drink I surveyed the place with my eyes, looking for one particular person.

“Yeh lookin’ for Oli?” asked Tom who was smiling – obviously amused.

I denied the fact that I actually liked Oli, I don’t really wanna be attach to someone, not after my experience. But seriously, I already knew, inside – that I did like him and I liked him a LOT. But I wasn’t gonna let anyone know that just YET. I shook my head and stuck a tongue at him, “No.”

Matt N. gave me my drink. I took a sip, it was a bit bitter, smelled citrus-ish and it had a sweet side too, I turned to face him, “I taste awesome Matt!”

He grinned, “I know, I’m the bartender master!”

I looked out once more, surveying the room again, and this time instead of asking Tom said, “Well, since yeh’re not lookin’ for Oli. I def’nitely didn’t see him roamin’ around the pool in the backyard.”

I smiled at him and he nodded. What I like about Tom was that he knew what I thought, and he knew how I felt like as if we were twins or something. Somehow, he knew I liked Oli, liked him a lot. I never told him, he never asked. But I know that he knows and he knows that I know that he knows. And the other thing I like about him, is that he doesn’t confront me about it. He’s like a brother I never had.

The others didn’t notice our little convo, I faced them, “Well guys, I’m gonna explore a little bit.”

They nodded and I left. I went straight to the backyard pushin’ my way through the people dancin’ or whatever they were doin’- loungin’ in the hall.

As I arrive in the backyard, there were tons of people there dancin’, talkin’, snoggin’ each other, some people were in the verge of getting pivot and no one seemed to mind. And passed them all, I see Oli.

He’s leanin’ on his chair, legs open and has a sexy smile (he looked fuckin' hot!) on his face. He looked like he was lookin’ at me, so I smiled too. He gestured me to come to him and I was going to when a blonde girl passed me and sat on his lap. My eyes bulge.

I stood there, watching them eat each others’ faces off. Then he whispered something in the blonde’s ear and they both walk towards me.

As they pass me, his shoulder collided with mine and he slightly knocked me out of balance. He turned to face me, “Sorry.”

I was about to say something but he just went forward, walking hand in hand with the blonde. Kissing her neck as they walked inside.

My hands shake and the drink I was holding dropped. I went to the kitchen where I found Tom talkin’ to Matt N. The others gone.

Tom and Matt notice me.

“Yeh finished yeh’r drink already?” Matt mused. I nodded, not wanting to explain more.

Tom smiled, “So, did yeh not see my brother?”

I shook my head, and faked a smile, “Look, guys, I have to go.”

They nodded and I left.

-End of Flash back-

I wake up from the ringing of my alarm clock. As soon as I gained consciousness, the memories from last night came flooding back. Oh how I wished the alarm clock would just stop ringing, I wanted to push away the things I saw last night. But sadly, as I knew, the alarm clock kept ringing and ringing. I slammed my fist into the damn thing and it finally shut up.

These were one of those days, my bitter days. The kind of days that I hated everything I see and anyone who would talk to me. I’d usually just shut up during these kind of days and mentally curse anyone or anything that would pass by me.

&&

I park in the school parking lot. I was wearing jean skinny jeans (C:\Documents and Settings\Ray\My Documents\My Pictures\fba720dcfb4bfa78.jpg), a black military style coat (the kind my chem wheres) and plaid back and red ballet flats and a red visor beanie(C:\Documents and Settings\Ray\My Documents\My Pictures\b0160956b45e09e6.jpg).

I marched in the school, my schedule in one hand. Everyone was in the halls, some talking to old friends, some new like me and finding it difficult to know where to go. I glance down my schedule, on the top right corner of the paper there written my locker number and locker code.

A little while later, I found my locker, stocked some of my books in and went to my first class – quietly.

Our first teacher wasn’t bad, he was nice and funny but that didn’t keep me from zoning out during class. Ugh! I wish I didn’t go to that fuckin’ party! Gosh, I hate Oli! I hate her, the blonde I mean! I hate my alarm clock! I hate this! How I wish I could just, just, sleep all day! Forget all this shit!

Something slammed in front of me, Mr. Poynter’s hand was on my desk, I looked up he was smiling, “Day dreaming Ms. Haven?” he asked amused.

Everyone chuckled, “Uhh… I, I guess…” I stuttered.

“Is my class that boring?” he asked frowning.

“No, no!” I shook my head, “It’s just that… umm… errmm…” I couldn’t finish my sentence.

He smiled, “Just playin’ with ya!” and everyone roared. He walked passed me, “Now lets get back to our lesson, shall we?” and… bla, bla, bla…

As much as I wanted to listen to Mr. Poynter, I couldn’t really, Oli’s image was stuck in my mind and I just couldn’t shake him off.

&&

Time passed by fast and soon it was lunch. I bought a burger and grape soda. I turn around to find everyone huddled into their little groups. What the fuck?

I don’t belong in any group so, I sat alone in one table. It was better this way, at least I didn’t have to talk to anyone and eventually get pissed at them.

“The world would be a lonely place,
Without the one that puts a smile on your face
So hold me ‘til the sun burns out
I wont be lonely when I’m down…

‘Cause I’ve got you, to make me feel stronger
When the days are rough, and an hour seems much longer…”

My phone rang, and the infamous grin of Oli’s appeared on screen. Oh, what the heck?

I flipped it, “Hello?” I snapped.

“’Ei, Kacy! ‘Ow’s school? Why yeh mad?” he asked me.

I scoffed, “It’s lunch what do you want?” I asked.

He didn’t answer for a while, “Errmm… I jus’ wan’ed to check on yeh,” he told me.

“Okk…” I said rolling me eyes. He’s totally faking it. Faker, fuckin’ faker. He doesn’t care, I know he doesn’t!!

“Did yeh go to the party last night?” he asked me.

Ugh! Please, talk about something else!!!! Something else… I didn’t answer.

“’Ello?” his voice boomed, “Kace, are yeh still there?”

“Uh-huh. I went to the party, so?” I snapped, my temper was raging. He didn’t even notice me last night, not one bit and now he’s calling me? Asking if I came? Of course he wouldn’t know if I did because he was busy shagging the fuckin’ blonde!

“I didn’t see yeh,” he said.

“Ha! Well, I saw you there… I left early, maybe that’s why,” I told him. Before he could say anything else I replied, “Look, Oli. I have to go ok?” and I hung up.

I let out a huge sigh and a bunch of girls stood front of me, “There’s a fly on yeh’re burger,” the tall, heavy make up-ed, blonde one said. Gosh, I hate BLONDES!

I look down to check my burger and there wasn’t any fly, I heard giggles.

“Made yeh look!” she said, and they left my table laughing while saying things like, ‘Wha’ a loser’ and shit like that. Immature TWATS!

“Don’t mind ‘em,” said a girl, she had auburn hair like me, light blue eyes and a lot of freckles. Although most people would find freckles unattractive, her freckles fit her face and she looked nice with them.

Although my bad mood has somehow lighten I still was pretty affected, “Who are they?” I asked her.

She took a seat in front of me, “Oh they’re the popular group,” she told me, “They pretty much bust the new kids, especially the ones who aren’t from here.”

Her accent, well she doesn’t have one. She sounds, oh my GOD, an AMERICAN!!!

“You’re American?” I asked my voice happy and surprise.

She nodded, “Moved here a year ago,” she told me, “I’m Sierra, from the sunny state of Cali, I use to live in San Diego but we had to move. Dad needed a ‘new’ start,” she put air quotes on the new.

I wasn't as pissed off as I was a while ago, “I'm Kacy, from Bridgeton, New Jersey. Finally, another American!” I exhaled and smiled, “So, why did yeh’r dad need a new beginning?”

“Oh, my mom died exactly a year and three months ago,” she told me as she took a bite off her burger.

My expression changes and my stomach churns, I hate death! I hate it! Loosing your love ones much suck badly! “I, I, I’m sorry.” I stuttered.

“It’s ok,” she said looking down for a moment, she looked up, “What about you?”

“Well,” I didn’t know how to start my sentence, she told me her secret. I should tell her mine, “My dad didn’t really love us, y’know? And, he kept hurting my mom and one day… we left. And we're not planning on coming back," I explained.

Her mouth turned to an o shape, she gulped, “Whoa, that’s rough. We're not planning on heading back either, at least I dont think so... ”

I smiled and chuckled, “At least we’re far away from him now.” I told her.

“So, when did yeh move here?”

I mentally counted the months, “About five months ago.”

&&

And our conversation kept going and going. The day passed by fast and before I knew it I was at home. The minute I launched to my bed, was the same minute his image slip my mind and the bad memories came flooding back. This is what I get for getting attached.