I Could Use Somebody in this Windy City

We walked to the park, silently. Our footsteps echoed through the empty streets lit up by a few streetlights. The windy city stood up to its name as a freezing cold whip of air hit us on more than one occasion. Every time the wind hit us, Jon would pull me closer. Two minutes later, after a heated battle in my head, I took a step away from him. This happened a few times, each time, he would say something, and I would keep quiet. I will admit I have some attraction to Jon, but at the moment I cannot define it. The emotion is unknown.

Our first steps into the park were silent, but as soon as we hit the asphalt path, mouths opened. “How have you been?” he asked after a heavy sigh. We stopped walking, and our eyes met under a lamp post. His were scintillating, and even though I couldn’t see mine, I knew they were dull, confused, and broken. I haven’t felt like this in so long. I haven’t felt heartbroken and confused about what I feel in months, and now when I am with him, all of these unwanted feelings come rushing back to me.

“I’ve been great; actually”, I answered rubbing my forehead which was now starting to pulse with a headache. “What about you? How has the Blackhawks been?” my voice started shaking halfway through the sentence. Because of it, Jon ignored the question and looked at me, his huge brown eyes holding mine with a caring look I have never seen any other guy have before. He went to ask me a question but I shook my head and turned pinched the bridge of my nose. After a heavy sigh escaped my lips I felt the last thing I ever wanted to feel around him.

The burning sensation started in my nose. As it grew stronger, tears formed on the rims of my eyes. Squeezing my eyes together tightly to try to stop the fall of the little salty droplets, the intense burning sensation trickled down to my throat. As it settled there, I tried to take a breath. My throat felt like it was closing. After another attempt at taking a deep breath, I let out a soft sob and opened my eyes.

Opening my eyes was the equivalent to opening a dam. Water rushed down my cheeks uncontrollably like water rushing to the open land behind the dam. Although I shut my eyes to try to stop it, the tears managed to squeeze out from the corner of my eyes and kept the same steady fall going. Adding onto the complete mess I was, my head started to pound harder making it hard to even form a single sentence in my head. The stress and the pain were growing unbearable. I wanted to run back to my apartment and hide there for the rest of my life. As much as I loved Patrick Sharp and Kane, and all of the guys on the team, I just wasn’t ready for this. I should have just stayed home and worked on my project.

Jon’s hands cupped my cheeks. His thumbs started trying to push the tears off of my skin, but it was useless, there were just too many. “Jayden, what’s wrong?” he whispered in a soft voice. My eyes managed to find his. As I looked into them, I felt the urge to cry harder grow stronger. His brown eyes were drowning in care. His facial expressions were drowning in worry, and his body so close to mine again, made the mixed feelings of wanting to punch him in the face and kiss him arises in my stomach.

Sucking in a deep breath, I shook my head and turned away from him. The skin that he touched started to burn. Before I knew what I was doing, my legs started moving and the small click of my boots echoed through the silent park. I had to leave, I was going to do it. If I stayed with him any longer, and he held me while I cried for how pathetic I was. I was undoubtedly going to fall back in love with Jonathan Toews. The flame has always been there, but now it was reduced to a small ember, and if the ember had enough oxygen, it was burst back into the roaring flame it was before Heidi came into the picture.

“Jayden, why do you keep walking away from me?” Jon caught up next to me and grabbed my shoulder stopping me dead in my tracks. He spun my body to face him. Keeping his left hand on my shoulder, he ran his right hand through my hair and then let it rest on my cheek. “Why can’t you just tell me what’s wrong? It kills me to see you like this”, he whispered and ran his thumb over a small patch of my skin, pushing the salty beads off my cheek.

I shook my head and looked back into his eyes. Once they met, I crumbled and fell into him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in as close as he could. When my head hit his strong chest, I shut my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck. Crying into his chest, I felt his breath hit my neck. “Everything’s going to be fine, Jay”, his soft lips hit the bare skin of my neck setting off every single goose bump on my body. As his lips pressed against my skin again, I took in a deep breath and shut my eyes. When I shut them, no tears slipped through the cracks. The small breakdown I had was over, and it ended me up right into Jon’s arms, where deep down I always wanted to be.

I may have hated Jonathan Toews, before and after the events dealing with Heidi, but there was just something about him, something about how I felt around him that had me wrapped around his finger no matter what we did to each other. “I hate you, I hate you so much”, I cried into his shoulder, only to feel the pressure from his arms around me grow. As I repeated those same words, I felt Jon tense up. Although every muscle in his body was flexed, his arms loosened around me, and his eyes were soft, almost fragile. As he let me go, I stumbled back a few steps and looked up into his broken brown eyes and silently apologized.

“Why?” The small whisper rang through the air, and hung eerily above my head. The brown eyes I had spent most of the time hating but secretly loving were finally broken down. As I stared into them, I took a deep breath and realized that Jon was now on my level, he realized what I had to go through; heartbreak, unbearable, annoying, heartbreak. Instead of being happy like I should be, happy that he finally felt my pain, I felt horrible. The guilt weighing on my shoulders was unbearable as his teddy bear like eyes met mine.

My mouth struggled to form words to respond to him. Why would I hate Jonathan Toews? Was it because he broke my heart into a million pieces? But then again, what man has never done that to a woman before. With so much of it going on, is it really something to hate someone for. Was it right of me to hate Jonathan Toews for just being a normal guy? Then of course there is the fight that not every guy does that to women, some men don’t break hears. With that in mind, I looked at Jon and tried to bottle most of my emotions back up.

“You broke my heart, Jon”, I snapped and felt a little better it was like a weight was taken off of my chest. Taking a deep breath, I watched him shake his head. “What, you didn’t?” I took my bottom lip between my teeth to try to stop the words. In the process of bottling up my emotions, anger must have skipped out because it was now raging through my veins. “When you dropped me for Heidi, that’s not considered breaking my heart, because from my perspective, it sure felt like it”, my words, laced with venom hit Jon.

The brown orbs in his head quickly turned form soft teddy bear, to stone. The sorrow and regret on his face was wiped clean off, and now, his features held anger, but behind the anger, there was another emotion. It wasn’t readable, but something told me that the whole anger on the outside wasn’t the same emotion that was on the inside.

Jon took a step away from me, turned around, and placed his hands on the back of his neck. Staying like that for a few minutes I took a deep breath and asked him if I should just leave. Once that was out in the air, he turned around and quickly took my face in his hands, not roughly, but there was a little force there, a little urge to remind me to just listen to him. Even though it was kind of hard not to, we were the only ones there.

“I love you”, my eyes darted away from his. A short pressure from his hands had my eyes back in his. As I stared into them, my heart would believe anything he said; my head not so much, but there are only a few moments in my lifetime that I had ever listened to what my head had to say. This would explain my constant heartache and bad choices. “I just wish… I wish you could just understand that I do. I wish you would just believe me”, he said angrily and quickly took his hands away from my face and turned his back to me. “Ever since… The first day I met you at the coffee shop, when you asked me for a lighter”, he turned to me, eyes huge, begging me to recall the day that seemed years ago, even thought it was only a few months.

With a deep breath, letting the cold Chicago air calm me down, I thought back to the first day I ran into Jon, even though I really didn’t know who he was. I asked him for a lighter, he told me not to smoke. Letting out a small annoyed chuckle, I looked him dead in the eyes, “Yes, I remember”

He took a deep breath and told me flat out, that was the day he fell in love with me. To that, I laughed. Did he really expect me to believe that him, Jonathan Toews, fell in love with a lowly coffee shop cashier that smoked and wasn’t even nice to him? I wasn’t a model; I didn’t look like a model, why would he magically fall in love with me? There was no rhyme or reason to it. My head rejected the thought, but my heart freely accepted it. It accepted it so much that it told my stomach to let out those butterflies that had been pent up in their cage for months.

Sighing heavily, I shook my head and looked down at my feet. what are you doing, Jayden? Are you listening to your head? Now? My eyes shut tightly and I pinched the bridge of my nose. A hand rested on my shoulder but I quickly shrugged it off and took a couple steps in a different direction. I needed to think about what I was doing. Was I really going to go back to him? Did he really love me? He could, but how would I know. How can I trust that Jonathan Toews wouldn’t break my heart again? It was impossible.

“Jayden, Jayden, just listen to me. Come back to the party. Just come back to the party and we’ll talk tomorrow; maybe over some lunch”, Jon begged but I didn’t move or show him any kind of response. Now I had another question to roll over in my head; should I go back to the party? This question didn’t need as much analyzing as the others. Go home and struggle with homework, or go back to Jon’s place, hang out with Sharp and Kane and have some drinks.

Without words I was walking next to Jon, his arm around my shoulders, along the sidewalk back toward the house. The way I felt now, I was surprised I let Jon keep his arm around me, but it kept that part of my body warm in this freezing weather. Silence hung over us as we walked down the street. The small heels of my boots clicked along the cement walkway in a rhythm that matched the loud beating of my heart. I was scared, scared of the future. Not even the just the future with Jon, I mean the whole thing.

“Hey”, I looked up from my thinking and noticed a little worry etched into the lines on Jon’s forehead. As his eyebrows lowered the lines disappeared, but the worry was still there. “Are you alright? You look scared”, with a heavy sigh I shook my head and decided that I would try to keep talking between Jon and I to a minimum until we got back to the house. Once there, I would slip away, grab a drink, and loosen up a little.

As I stayed quiet after that, Jon huffed and pulled his arm off of my shoulders. The cold air quickly replaced the warmth in my body from that with coolness, and a block away from the house, I started shivering. Teeth chattering loudly, my eyes found their way to Jon. Shoulder slightly slumped, and head bent down, my stomach started twisting, making a small queasy feeling run through me. I may have had an extreme love/hate relationship with Jon, and talking to him was not something I wanted to do now, but he just looks so damn sad.

Conjuring up some courage and taking a deep breath, I directed my arm to slither around Jon’s waist. Once settled there, I used the little muscle I had and pulled myself into him. A few more steps later, Jon put his arm around my shoulders and gave me an odd look. “Sudden mood change,” the tone of his voice made my mood sour, and a couple seconds later, I was walking a yard ahead of him, hands balled into fists and shoved into my pockets. Jon called out my name in a stressed voice; I ignored him and sped up a little until our distance had to be a good two yards.

Jon’s house came up on my right quickly. The lights in every room were on, a low hum of the bass from a radio system rumbled through the front lawn, and as I managed to find the walkway in the dark howls of laughter seeped from the house. When I reached the door, I flung it open and was greeted by no one other than Patrick Sharp. His sharp features were staring back at me with a huge smile. Instead of asking about the talk, he simply handed me a red cup filled with some see through liquid, whispered you’ll need this, and walked away swinging his hips and yelling at some boy who was in the next room over.

Curiously looking down, I waved the drink under my nose and smiled. The contents of the cup were unknown to me, but if It had no smell, it had to be vodka. Chuckling as I peeled off my jacket and set it down on the nearest arm chair, I took a swing of the drink and felt my face contort as the small sip slowly made its way down my throat. I was correct, the alcoholic beverage was vodka, and the liquid with it, that was a little on the fizzy side, was Sprite. Both of them together, was a little hard to swallow for me, but after a few more sips, it would go down just like water.

“Hey hot stuff”, a small chuckle echoed through my head as Patrick Kane walked right in front of me and lowered his face to mine. With wild eyes and a crooked smile, he pressed his forehead against mine, allowing the strong smell of alcohol on his breath to burn my nose. “Are you finally marrying captain dick-muncher?” A chuckle escaped my lips as I dropped my eyes from Patrick’s blue beauties. I told him I wasn’t planning on that. With a huff, he shook his head, and then pulled his forehead off of mine and kissed my cheek. “Whatta shame, I wanted to be an uncle”, he fake cried as he walked away into the next room where no more than two seconds later he was screaming for Versteeg.

Now alone, I started wandering through the house looking at all of the guys from the team with red cups in their hands, smiling like there was nothing better in the world. Eyeing them all down, I wanted to be like that, and with a good deep breath, I chugged the rest of the contents of my cup. After the burning sensation left my throat and nose, I shook my head and felt a small buzz. Huge smile on my face, I stalked off to the kitchen in search for another drink that I could quickly down so I could smile and hang around with the rest of the guys.

In the kitchen, on the counter, sat a bunch of clear bottles of booze with colorful labeling. Not paying attention to any of them, I grabbed the closest bottle to me, a red cup from the huge stack, and filled the cup a fourth with the toxic liquid. From there, I grabbed the closest bottle of sprite and filled the rest of the cup. New drink in hand, I started chugging it, ignoring the small burning in my throat. Halfway through the drink, a boy walked into the kitchen and spotted me. “Drinking games with yourself, huh?” I let out a giggle, and as I tuned into my own voice, I started laughing harder.

Through my whole life time I had not been drunk, even buzzed many times. The few times I was drunk, I just remember having the most fun I could have and this annoying high pitched pig squeal of a laugh. From the first time I heard it, I ruled that if I laugh like that, I was pretty darn close to being considered drunk. Laughing again, I put my hand up for the boy to give me a high-five. Without question he high-fived me and grabbed my cup. Filling it back to the top with the clear liquid, he sent me off to the living room where there was some kind of contest going on.

The map of the house was laid out in my mind. Drumming my finger against the cup in my right hand, I picture were I was. Sticking a ‘you are here’ sticker on the map in my head, I scrunched up my face trying to remember which way was the easiest to get to the living room; down the hall to the right? Shrugging and following my own directions, I quickly navigated my way to the living room. My first two steps in; I surveyed the people around me, and quickly took a long sip from the glass. As it went smoothly down my throat, I watched Sharp and Kane look at the TV, and then start singing as lyrics rolled through the screen.

“Jayden,” My eyes wandered the room until the fell upon Jon who was sitting on the couch, a huge smile on his face, glass in his eyes, and a red cup in hand. I wasn’t sure how long ago Jon and I got here, but it must have been a while, because we were already half way to being smashed. Chuckling a little, my eyes connected on Jon’s hand waving me over. Without hesitation, my legs made their way over to Jon, and when I reached him, I plopped right down on his lap and tilted my head back so it was resting against his shoulder.

During normal times without the influence of alcohol, I would have never done this. Jon and I would be on opposite sides of the couch, but now, I couldn’t find a reason in my mind to be mad at him. I was feeling too good to be mad at him. Picking my head up, Jon’s arm snaked around my waist and pulled me into him a little more. Instead of pushing his hand off, my left hand found its way onto his hand rest on my hip and my fingers fell through the cracks Jon fingers has left open. Fingers intertwined, Jon and I sat on the couch, drinking out toxic drinks, watching Kane and Sharp trying to sing along to Disturbia by Rhianna.

A few more guys in groups of two went up and attempted to sing along to a few hit songs that were on repeat on the local radio stations. Group by group they went up and made complete fools of themselves. Of course no one was thinking of them as acting like fools at the time. Everyone was the same way. Everyone was too busy enjoying being smashed or for the few older guys who took the role as designated driver, they just enjoyed having some fun. It wasn’t everyday your friends would get up and sing karaoke without being paid.

Hours flew by as boys went up and failed. Eventually the boys managed to switch to a different video game, Wii bowling. A few of them that participated in the singing sat out. The four bowlers were Kane, Seabrook, Keith, and Versteeg which really didn’t surprise any of them. They all may have been drunk, but they still knew the others personality.

“Jayden,” Jon sang into my ear half way during the game. Keith was winning with a perfect game so far, and Versteeg was losing not even knocking down more than seven pins during one frame yet. Ripping my eyes from the game and placing my lips to jy cup, I turned and looked down at Jon who was smiling up at me. “Can I get a kiss?”, he asked and quickly morphed his face to give me the cutest puppy eyes I’ve ever seen. Caving, I leaned down and kissed Jon lightly on the lips, exchanging the strong smell of alcohol breath with him.

After the kiss, Jon kept quiet and we continued watching the game in silence. My lips tingled from touching his no matter how many times I tried to cover. When the bowling game was finally over, Versteeg was well over his limit and he quickly grabbed the remotes from everyone and switched the game back over to the karaoke game. As it loaded, everyone seemed to temporarily sober up and started gathering their things. Some boys, that still had a clue what was going on, came back in their jackets, and then there were some that were so gone, they were already asleep on random pieces of furniture.

“They have my jaaaam” Versteeg squealed and grabbed the microphone and started mumbling something into the microphone as the beat started pounding through the speakers. As the boys started laughing, I directed my attention to the TV screen and shook my head. “Wear them gold and diamonds rings. All them things don’t mean a thing. Chaperons and limousines, shopping for expensive things. I be on the movie screens, magazines and boogie scenes. I’m not clean, I’m not pristine. I’m no queen, I’m no machine”, Versteeg continued on with the song, but the laughing on the side of the room was on was so loud that I couldn’t even hear his voice, all I could see was his hips swaying to the song.

As I stayed seated on Jon’s lap, boy by boy walked over to us and said their goodbyes. Of course there were a few comments about us, but instead of getting all defensive like we usually got, we just furrowed our eyebrows and kept sipping away to keep the buzz going.

Eventually most of the guys were gone. The only three that remained were the light weights that had fallen asleep on the kitchen table, the floor, and the bathtub. Although the music was off, and the house was consumed into an odd silence, Jon and I stayed on the couch. Drinks in hand, my head rested against his shoulder, his chin rested on mine.

“I’m tired”, Jon finally whispered after a long period of silence between when the last person had left and now. “Can we go to bed?” Looking over at him, I scrunched my face up and placed the empty cup I was holding down on the couch cushion next to me. Sucking in a deep breath, I pushed my body off of the couch, and stood up feeling a wave of dizziness wash over me. Although it made me a little nauseous, I couldn’t do anything but smile. Trying to think, my thoughts became jumbled, and the only thing I could think about was the boy standing right in front of me, smiling down at me, alcohol laced with his breath, thoughts, and actions.

Silently I followed Jon down the hall to his bedroom. Hands still holding each other’s Jon lead me down the hallway until we reached his room. Opening the door, he motioned me to walk in first and as I did, he followed behind me and shut the door quietly. The awkwardness that was present almost every time I was alone with someone in an empty room wasn’t there now, and I knew I had my little friend named Vodka to help me with this one.

With a heavy sigh, I fell back onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling, a huge smile plastered across my face. As foggy memories flooded my mind, my eyes connected with Jon’s. When his attention was mine, I put on a sly smirk and brought up the very first time we kissed, right here, on the bed. Jon’s cheeks immediately gained a pink tint to them and he sighed heavily, falling on the bed right next to me.

“You couldn’t kiss me. It was priceless. Were you like scared or something; afraid of my cooties?” Jon’s pink tint soon grew to huge patches of red over his cheeks, and as my teasing continued, he quickly moved so he had me pinned down against the bed. Face centimeters from mine, he simple asked me who was scared now. “I’m not; you’re the one who…” My words were cut off by his soft lips roughly pressing up against mine. We held the kiss for awhile, just applying pressure, but as we disconnected and then reconnected, passion fused into the kiss, and instead of Jon’s hands keeping my wrists pinned down, they were traveling up and down my sides while my hand simple connected behind Jon’s neck and stood there.

Mouths moving in sync, our hand started moving quicker. Minds racing, Jon and I broke off of the kiss, and he slowly leaned his face down until he was leaving little kisses along the bare skin of my neck. Twitching from every soft kiss, I let my hands run up and down his back, feeling every single muscle in the process. After a few more minutes, I had managed to peel Jon’s shirt off and flung it across the room. As out fiery kissing started up again, Jon’s hands slowly made their way under my shirt, and right as they hit the middle of my stomach, a wave of panic washed over me, and I pulled away.

Jon’s hands quickly pushed himself off of me, leaving me free to prop myself up and catch my breath. The tingling sensation burning the skin on my stomach from his hands, I quickly felt every ounce of alcohol I drank started to drain to my stomach. My thoughts cleared up, my eyes could trace the room quickly, like I normally could, and I realized what was about to happen.

“I’m so sorry”, I muttered and quickly got off of the bed and felt a wave of dizziness wash over me. “I need to go home, now” The sickness rumbling in my stomach washed my mind free of everything that clouded it before. As I looked at Jon, I felt angry, but as I kept staring at him, the cage of butterflies that have already escaped tonight came back out. My drunk actions weren’t completely caused by the large amounts of Vodka I had taken in, because staring at him now, I could understand why I was about to do what I was about to do.

Jon quickly grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. His eyes were covered in glass and small red veins. He was still drunk, unlike me. “I love you, please”, he begged but I shook my head and put my hands on his face.

“I love you too Jon, but I need to go home, and you need to sleep this off”, Jon quickly told me that he was absolutely fine, that there was nothing wrong with him, but I calmly told him that he was drunk, and it wasn’t a good time for me to stay.

“Fine!” Jon snapped and turned his back to me. “Whatever, go back home, run away from me again because you’re too scared to fall in love with someone that already loves you.” Snatching his shirt off of the floor, Jon walked out of the room and down the hall into the bathroom. Instead of following my heart and running after him, I decided now would be the rare occasion to follow my head. Walking through the house, I managed to find my jacket. Slipping it on, I stumbled out of the front door and quietly shut the door behind me.

As the cool early morning Chicago wind whipped at my face, salty tears formed in my eyes and quickly started rolling down my face. Jon may have been drunk, and caught up in the moment, but he was right.

I was scared to fall in love.

One Week Later

The cell phone in my back pocket vibrated again. Without looking, I knew who it was, he’s been calling me ever since last Friday night; they all have. When I got home early Saturday morning, I fell asleep, and when I woke up at five o’clock, I called in sick to work and spent the rest of the night popping Advil and throwing up whatever was left in my stomach.

When Sunday rolled around, I took an emotional day. All day, from ten in the morning to two the next morning, I sat on my couch, flipping through the channels with a gallon of vanilla ice cream, and a box of tissues. Sure, I had reached an all new level of pathetic that day, but I needed time to think. Of course, after all day of thinking, I never really made any advancement. At two in the morning, I ruled that no matter what had happened in the past, I was unconditionally in love with Jonathan Toews. The only problem now was that I was afraid to answer my phone for the simple reason that when I talked to Jon, he wouldn’t remember that night, and he would hate me. Now that I realized that I did love Jonathan Toews, after his many attempts to make me realize he loved me and I really loved him, I was almost positive he gave up on me. It would just be my luck.

“Jayden,” I placed the magazine I was reading down and peered over my shoulder at the boy on the coffee machine. “it’s your break. You’ve got fifteen minutes”, he gave me a smile and then pulled out a coffee filter and threw it into the closest garbage can. I watched as the ball hit the rim and bounced off and hit the floor. As the ground coffee went everywhere, I quickly ran to the back and grabber my jacket with my cell phone, cigarettes, and lighter. Shrugging it on, I walked through the coffee shop and out to the front where I sat down on the same Bench Jon sat at the first day I met him.

Pulling a new cigarette from the pack and placing it between my lips, I grabbed my lighter and turned the wheel. Flame exposed to the light, I covered it from the wind with my hand and moved it toward the paper between my lips. As it lit, I smiled and quickly shoved my lighter back in my pocket as I took a deep inhale and smiled. Letting the smoke out, my hand reached into my other pocket and pulled out my cell phone which had yet another missed call from Jon.

Stomach feeling sick, I flipped open the phone and stared at his name. “You probably hate me”, I muttered making sure the paper between my lips didn’t move. “How could you love some dumb shit like me anyway? You can’t”

“I’ll object to that”, a shriek escaped my lips and the piece of rolled up paper I tried to keep between my lips flew out and rolled off of the curb into the street. Once the orange glow was out of sight, I looked up and came eye to eye with Jonathan Toews. Without muttering another word, he sat down next to me and let his eyes fall onto the pack of cigarettes resting on my lap. “You shouldn’t smoke”, he stated and looked up at me with a small smile on his lips.

Taking a shaky breath, I stood up and whispered something about getting back to my job, but before I could scurry off to the back room, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back over to him. “Jayden, I understand if you don’t want to talk to me after last Friday, I was way out of line”, my heart fluttered and I slowly turned to him, locking my eyes with his. “You didn’t deserve that. I shouldn’t have said those things or tried to get in your pants”, a noticeable red tint burnt on his cheeks. “I just wanted to apologize and I understand if you hate me now”, he looked down with sorrowful eyes.

“I thought… You’re not mad at me?” Jon’s head quickly jerked up and he placed his hands on my face caringly. His eyes accused me of being crazy and his face was drowning in seriousness.

“Jayden, why would I be mad at you?” He asked completely shocked. “I was the one that drove you away that night, how could you possibly think I was mad at you! Jayden for the five millionth time, I-“

With a deep breath I reached up on my tiptoes and quickly pressed my lips against his before he could speak again. At first all of the pressure was applied by me, but seconds later he had his arms wrapped around me, and his lips sparked with mine creating a battle between the both of us. As the kiss deepened, he pulled me closer to him, and when we broke apart, I felt a tear slip from my eye.

“I love you”, I whispered before Jon could say a word. “I was stupid. I shouldn’t have got mad at you about Heidi or anything. I was out of line. I-“

Jon placed his finger on my lips stopping my mindless babbling. “That’s the past, Jay. That’s all in the past. The only thing you should be worrying about is the future”

“As long as it’s with you I don’t think I have much to worry about” I whispered and watched Jon smile at me lovingly. As he placed a small kiss on my lips I smiled and let out another few tears. After all of the shitty boyfriends, all of my school problems and family problems, I finally came out on top.

I was going out with Jonathan Toews and I loved him just as much as he loved me.