I Could Use Somebody in this Windy City

When I felt Jon’s house. I knew where I wanted to go. I didn’t want to go to a bar, or anywhere else. I wanted to go straight to Sharps house. I didn’t know him as good as Pat, but Pat was still at Jon’s house drooling over his slut-of-an-ex-girlfriend-Heidi. Who names their daughter Heidi anyway? This is fucking Chicago.

I followed streets, looking around at names written on mailboxes and cars. The cars didn’t look like Sharps’ huge black SUV and the houses were every name from A-Z except Sharp. I didn’t really think he’d have his name on his house or anything, but right now, it’d be nice.

Without trying, I made it to a local bar. I wasn’t able to drink, but it would still be somewhat nice to be in a place where I didn’t have to constantly look around me and make sure there were no creepers or such. In a bar, I could just sit at a table, munch on pretzels and drink a few cokes.

I paused mid thought and checked my pockets for money. I had none. This meant there would be no way to go to into the bar and do anything. All I could do was sit there, and if it was crowded, there be a good, very good, chance that they would kick me out because I was loitering or something like that.

The bar disappeared behind me. I took my time, strolling down the streets, looking at the buildings. Soon, I felt a welcoming feeling, the buildings suddenly became familiar and everything about the street became welcoming. “My old job”, I said a small smile appearing on my face as I looked across the street at the Coffee shop.

The windows were dim and inside were the normal calm teens reading and on their laptops. Behind the counter sat Leon with a magazine in his hands. I looked both ways, crossed the street, and walked into the shop, a burst of heat welcoming my cold body.

“Jay!”, I looked across the shop at Leon who was already out from behind the counter. “What are you doing here miss I-was-dating-Jonathan-Toews-and-never-told-anyone”, I blushed like mad and took him into a hug. When we broke apart, I felt a few glares attach to my back making me feel more uncomfortable than ever.

“Sorry”, I let out a small chuckle and felt a shiver run up my spine. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, unlike you just did. Thanks love”, I chuckled and watched as a few people looked away as I caught them looking at me. The feeling was unsettling. The fact that at the moment I was still saving Jon’s ass and I hated him right now did not make this easy.

Leon pulled me to a table and started talking. Talking about everything and anything. He started talking about the weird couple that came in the other day and started making out in the booth. Then, he talked about how Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane came in the other day and ordered the Chocolate Cappuccino. I smiled to myself, that was what he ordered the first time we met… When I hated his guts.

Funny how the world’s so small.

Leon and I talked a little longer, his stories of parties and weird people coming here grew more and more entertaining. As the stories rolled on, I grew tired and I felt my eyes drift shut in front of him. “You should get back to your hubby”, I chuckled, opening my eyes seeing Leon’s smiling face. “Come back and visit will you?” I nodded and gave Leon a huge hug before walking out of the shop, the eyes on my back finally disappearing.

I started walking, and as I did, I realized I walked back into the unknown part of Chicago. As I looked around, I realized it was the same place I was, so if I followed this all the way back, I would get back to Jon’s house.

Trust me, it was the last place I wanted to go, but now, I wanted to go there and sleep in that comfortable bed. I was tired of walking around the uncharted territory of this Windy City.

“Hey!”, I gasped and looked over at a pick up truck stopped next to me, a familiar pair of eyes looking at me through the dark. At first, my blood went warm as I thought it was Jon, but I immediately mentally punched myself and shook that thought out of my head. I hated Jon. The end.

I turned and looked into the car, dark. There was a small laugh, and the light flicked on. As it lit up the inside of the car, Leo’s face appeared. My eyes widened and I felt my throat grow dry. I haven’t seen him in a while. Whenever you don’t see your boyfriend in a few years, then you see him, and he looks almost the same, but a little older and better looking, it’s a speechless sight.

“Need a ride anywhere, JayJay?”, I almost dropped as he used my old nickname.

I looked around, and I had absolutely no clue where I was again. The street names were names I have never seen before, and the houses were different from the ones I noticed on the way to the Coffee shop. I assumed I took a bad turn somewhere, but I didn’t mind it now that I had a ride.

“Are you sure?”, he nodded and opened the passenger door of his truck. I looked into the car, his smile was large, and his eyes were shimmering. Without really thinking it through, I got into the car and shut the door. “Thanks Leo. It‘s on 44th street”, he nodded and the car fell silent and the awkward air that was bound to be here surfaced.

The car stopped at a red light, and he looked over at me, his blue eyes shimmering with something I haven’t seen in a long time. As my heart beat became erratic, the small click of the doors locking echoed through the car. “You look great”, I managed a small nod as the nerves raced through my body. My stomach grew sick as the air in the car started choking me. “I missed you, Jayden”, I had no response to this. His breath smelled like beer, and I wanted to get out of his car.

Lurching forward, I found my voice and put my hand on the handle. “I need to get out of the car”, his eyes turned angry, and he shook his head, directing his eyes back to the road. “Please, Leo. I need to get back home. Jon’s going to be worried. Leo, please”, he ignored my begging and kept driving.

The light ahead was yellow, and with the small red arrow hitting sixty on his speedometer, I wished the yellow light was one of the longer lights. We were a few feet from the light when it turned red, the car sped through the intersection without getting hit. By now, I was in tears. “Leo, let me out of the fucking car”, I screamed and watched as his eyes gained some water and he pressed down on the gas pedal a little harder. Another intersection came up, empty, and the light was already red. He wasn’t slowing down. I shut my eyes and held onto myself, waiting for the pick-up to be tipped over and roll into on coming traffic.

In my mind, I was on my deathbed. I convinced myself, that there was a ninety percent chance, I would not make it out of this car. Cars screeched around us as Leo blasted through another intersection. Crying heavily, I looked over at him, his eyes focused on me. “I love you, Jayden”, he stated simply. “Why would you want to leave?”

“Just let me out, Leo! I just want to go home. You’re drunk”, his hand reached across the car and hit me hard across the face, leaving a stinging sensation where a salty trail of tears rested. “Where are we going?”, I screamed the anger mixing with the frightened side of me.

“Home”, I let out a scream and kicked his dashboard with my foot, making his hand reach over to me again. Instead of slapping me, he grabbed a chunk of my hair and jerked my head back in the seat a few times, before letting go and putting all of his focus back on the road. “Just shut up, Jay baby”, the tears were flowing at an amazing pace, and I was starting to have trouble breathing. When humans are placed in a situation such as this, it’s bound to happen, even if you were the strongest of people. No one can be stronger than death.

The car finally slowed and he pulled into a apartment parking lot. When the car stopped, he unlocked the car and got out, as I pulled the handle, he locked the doors and walked around to my door, sticking the key in the door to unlock it. Once it unlocked, I locked it again. This went on a little longer, until a small getaway scheme popped into my head.

I looked over my shoulder as Leo fiddled with his keys and noticed the back window was open, and led to the flat bed part of the truck. If I was able to get through there and jump out before he could catch me, I would have a good strip of pavement to get a head start running away from him.

The spot came quicker than I expected. He dropped his keys and looked up first, as he screamed at himself, I climbed into the backseats, and opened the window. Hands shaking, I pulled myself through, feeling something scrape a long line across my leg. Pain pulsing through my body, I got to my feet and stumbled my way to the edge of the bed where I jumped over the edge and fell to my knees. Footsteps pounded quickly toward me. Stumbling my first few steps, I broke out into a run down the pavement, my chest already tight from crying was growing tighter probably from my smoking habits.

It grew tighter as his screams echoed behind me. For a smoker, I could still run, thank god. I turned a corner and dove into a bunch of bushes, the sticks scraping against my face. As I did, I silenced my breathing, as the footsteps faded down the street, I carefully climbed out, blood dripping from what seemed every part of me, and took off in a different direction.

All the energy was drained from my body, as I reached the park by Jon’s house and collapsed in the pile of grass we were laying in the day before. The sky seemed darker than normal at twelve midnight. There were huge clouds that hung over the park, most likely filled with rain. Usually clouds looked like they moved, but not these. They stayed over me.

A cold wind blew. My hair didn’t move, but the holes on my skin sent a stinging sensation through my body. I knew they could all get infected, maybe some of them were already infected, but I didn’t care. All I wanted to do was cry, and that’s what I did for what felt like days. I just laid there and sobbed, occasionally choking on my own saliva.

I stayed in this position until I was violently shaken by another person. My eyes opened and I looked around quickly. Although I knew there was someone directly across from me, my eyes couldn’t bare to set themselves on him. When his voice sunk into my head, I knew who it was. I may have been bleeding and in hysterics, maybe even completely shaken from what had happened, I was still mad at Jon.

“Look at you”, Jon said shortly. His hands slipped onto my cheeks and he tilted my head carefully from side to side. “What happened to you, Jayden?”, he pulled my body into his, and I felt a wave of fresh tears fall over me covering the stick patches on my face. I hated him, but I needed him right now. “I was looking for you” I felt his lips press against my neck a few times.

Jon tried to wipe some tears off of my face with his thumb, but they were falling too fast. After a while, Jon started mumbling things into my hair. I wanted to pay attention to him, but I really couldn’t. His arms stayed locked around me as he spoke.

“Come on, I’ll take you home”, Jon managed to pick me up and hold me bridal style. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head against his shoulder. On the inside, somewhere, I hated him. I hated him for liking me and not liking the kinds of people he should like. I wanted him to be happy and I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to make him happy. Look at me. “Pat and everyone else left”, I ignored his words and shut my eyes, pressing my nose into his shirt and taking a deep breath, his scent making my whole body warm, then again, it could have been him holding me.

The walk home was on the quiet side. Jon stopped asking me about where I went and stopped trying to make me happier about how everyone left the house. I was too distraught to really care about any of that. My mind was wheeling through memories of all of the times Leo was drunk and hit me, and all of them were the same as tonight.

He would seem fine. I would go somewhere with him, and he would hit me. The hair grabbing was new, but the reckless driving and slapping was all the same. I cringed.

We got home, and Jon put me down. His hands were on my arms, and he looked me in the eye. It was still dark and I was pretty sure that he didn’t realize that I was bleeding from a few places. Now, I would have to go inside and listen to him as he goes on about how stupid I was for running away. How stupid I was for getting into the car with him, and how stupid I was to go to the park instead of going home.

I didn’t want to hear any of it, but I’d rather hear it instead of running away again. Jon opened the door and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the house. Once the door shut, I felt Jon breathing down my neck. His arms wrapped around my waist and he rested his chin on the top of my head. “Tell me what happened”, he walked us down the hall and into our room. “scratch that, we should get these cuts cleaned off first. What did you do to yourself, babe?”, blood rushed to my cheeks as he brought me to the bathroom and sat me down on the toilet seat.

“I ran into my ex-boyfriend”, I took a deep breath and watched Jon pull a bottle of Peroxide out of the cabinet. “Leo, I got into the car with him. He said he would be able to give me a ride. I didn’t know he was drunk.” Jon didn’t say a word as he placed some peroxide on a towel and pressed it against the cut on my leg. I cringed in pain and held my hands together, trying to make the pain disappear.

“Why would you get into his car if.. Oh, forget it”, he stood up. I looked up into his eyes and saw extreme anger. I’ve seen him angry before, I mean, I was bound to do some stupid things the past month, but this was the maddest I have ever seen him. “Do you think Jayden?”, I shook my head and he sighed, pressing the towel onto a few cuts that were strewn across my face.

After a few more pan filled cut clean outs. He turned his back to me and pointed to the door, meaning ‘get out’. I was kind of glad he cared so much about me, but you would think after I just went through my own mini-hell-flashback, he would be a little bit sweeter.

I reached our room and changed into my pajamas. With a clean pair of shorts and a clean white v-neck on, I crawled under the bed comforter and shut my eyes, resting my head down on the pillow. More than comfortable, I tried to force myself to sleep, but got nothing. I just laid there, relaxed and safe, and alone.

Jon didn’t come to bed.

I only herd the hum of the TV from the living room. I was done hating him. I was still a little bitter on the subject, after all, how could you not be bitter after seeing his ex-girlfriend who looks like a model.

My eyes shut, I tried to go to sleep, but only received flashes of a pick-up running a red-light.

I conjured up some courage and walked out into the living room, rubbing my eyes. “Jon?”, he looked over from the couch. His face was lit up by the glare of the TV screen. “Mind some company?”

“Of course not”, he whispered and turned around. I walked over to him and sat down. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me into him and took a deep breath. “Listen, I want to talk to you a second, can you stay awake that long?”, I nodded and looked up at him.

“Sure Jon”

“Oh, here-goes-nothing”, he whispered quickly and quickly kissed my cheek. “I love you and I want you to be my girlfriend. No, not act. I want you to really be my girlfriend”