She's His Medication; She's My Drug

I hid behind the trees again, this time ashamed to be me.
Even though I was always hiding my real self, I never thought I would be so lascivious. I mean… I wasn’t normally.
I could hear Rosalie sloshing out of the water.
“Alexander!” She called in her beautiful, trilling voice. “I’m out of the river! You can come out now!”
“Are you still wet, Rose?” I called back.
“Yes… why? Is something the matter, Alexander?”
“No! Nothing, I’ll just wait till you’re dry,” I shouted to her.
I sat down at the base of a tree and I pulled my knees up to my chest.
All I could see in my head was the beautiful Miss Rosalie Abigail White in her wet undergarments. Such ungentlemanly thoughts. I scolded myself internally for thinking of that image and for seeing it in the first place. The image still didn’t go away.
This wasn’t right; I shouldn’t lust for the girl I saw as my little sister. I was supposed to protect her. The again, wasn’t I leading her to her death?
The conflicting thoughts and images screamed at each other and caused a strange pulsing pain I had never felt before in my head.
I groaned quietly.
Why did something like this have to happen to me? Was I not the gentleman I always thought I had been? Was I just a fool this whole time? I never remembered thinking of any maiden like this, so why her? Why now? When the king was dying!
“Alex!” I didn’t pay attention; no one had ever called me Alex before. “Alex! I’m dry now. You may come back.”
I slowly rolled onto the balls of my feet before walking back to Rosalie.
There she was, just as before, but clean and dry and dressed.
“Hello Miss Rosalie,” I said, trying to make myself sound proud and ecstatic like before, but failing.
“Hello, Alexander, is something the matter?” She asked, frowning at where she thought I was.
This startled me that she picked up on the change in my voice so fast.
“No, of course not!” I bluffed. “I’m just… tired is all.”
“Yes…” Miss White agreed. “I’m getting tired too. It’s getting quite chilly too, may we please start a fire?”
I was slightly confused. It wasn’t cold. A soft wind tugged on Rosalie’s hair and I smelt her sweet blood and remembered that she was human so it would be cold to her.
“Yes, we shall. It is a necessity after all. Maybe you would like some rabbit? I could get you some,” I told her.
“Oh, that would be divine!” Miss Rosalie exclaimed and I heard her stomach rumble at the talk of food. I realized I hadn’t been feeding her often enough and felt guilty. I would have to ask her when she was hungry more often. I couldn’t have her starving.
“Okay…” I mumbled, accidentally allowing the guilt show in my voice. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Okay!” Rosalie cried, cheerfully. How could she be so cheerful? She was so blissfully unaware that I had seen her near naked. Oh, how I wish I could honestly say I wish I had never seen her like that.
“I’ll be back in a minute… I set some traps up last night.” Only a vampire could lie so well.
I wandered off into the forest, hating myself. She was just so attractive! Damn my damned vampire eyesight. Why could I not have taken an unattractive, annoying girl that still had the ability to see? I was glad I had taken Rose though, she was so kind and sweet and caring and lovable. It was just so hard not to see her… beauty.
I let my vampire instincts to take over, telling them what type of animal I wanted first. I inhaled, all the smells of the forest over-whelming. All the blood calling out to me, begging to be drunken. I shan’t – I can’t – go on a feeding frenzy… I might accidentally hurt Rosalie.
I searched the scents, my eyes turning a stone black, as I really tried not to eat every thing with blood near. I locked in on the scent I was searching for: rabbits. It would be a change to squirrels, nasty, scrawny, bitter, little things.
There was a nest of them half a mile to the southeast.
I finally got to run again, flat out sprinting at vampire speed, the way I was itching to do so. It felt so good, the feeling of pleasant burning in my muscles. I had never felt such relief. My muscles had been feeling misused.
In the bat of an eyelid, I was there, at the rabbits burrow. There was on rabbit peaking its head out of the burrow. My animalistic instincts took over and I grabbed the rabbit by the neck, the pressure of my hand killing it instantly, and began to drink its blood. I felt the strange, tingling feeling of my eyes turning back to violet.
My thoughts instantly returned to their usual, more humane self instead of the crazed, starving lion they had been while my eyes were black. I didn’t really need to fight the thoughts this time though; at the moment Rosalie was safe from me.
I stuck my hand down the burrow with lightening speed, grabbing the first rabbit I felt, snapping its neck before pulling my hand out of the burrow to inspect the rabbit.
In a sixteenth of a second I could tell it was a nice, big rabbit that would hopefully last Miss Rosalie two days.
Fire wood. I almost forgot. Well, not forgot, just shoved the thought to the back of my mind. I want something dry and dead. There was a dry, dead tree next to me. I couldn’t take the whole tree so I just grabbed the bottom branch of the tree and snapped it into several pieces. It felt like a feather would to a human weight wise to me.
Feeling proud of myself, I sprinted back towards Rosalie. I slowed down when I got closer to her, walking slowly and loudly like a human. How could they stand moving like this? It was so slow and irritating.
“Rosalie?” I called out.
“Sir – I mean – Alex?” She called back; there was no missing the excitement in her voice. I wondered idly how hungry she really was. She was probably close to perishing. “Did you bring firewood?”
It was getting darker by the second.
“Yes,” I told her. “And I found a nice big rabbit. It should last us a while.”
“Oh joy!” She cried.
The strange, painful pulsing hadn’t left my head. I had never experienced this throbbing before. I could hear it in my ears, it almost sounded like a pulse. But that was silly, I have no pulse.
I set the fire up and started it, before setting the rabbit up so it could be cooked. All this human stuff was so time consuming. How did they ever put up with it? I suppose if I wanted to I could eat human food and survive but, why would I want to? I was a monster, not a human. I was a vampire. I drink blood. Is that not all the food I need with out eating human’s resources as well? Drinking blood was so much faster, I didn’t have to prepare it either. No preparation, more time to do important things, like see to the kingdoms troubles. It reminded me once again of my hideous mission and how well yet how wrong it was going. I wondered idly how much time humans wasted preparing food at the same time.
Rosalie chatted away happily all night saying how glad she was that I found her and how nice I was for helping her (making me feel very guilty) and she told me how she got a kitten shortly after going blind. Her grandpa told her that her kitten had been white with one black paw – the left back paw – and it had a spot of black on its nose. She had named it smudge. Smudge died last year and she missed him, she wondered did he go to heaven. I told her I didn’t know.
She told me how her days used to consist. She would wake up, wash, have breakfast with her grandfather, wash the clothes, dry them, have lunch, fold the clothes, play or think or sing for a little while, have dinner, have long talks with her grandfather, go for a short walk and then go home have supper and go to bed. It seemed a little monochromatic to me. I would never have been able to stand all that exactness, knowing everything that was going to happen in my day; having my whole life planned. It seemed dull to me. I needed excitement and adventure. I could tell from the sound of Rosalie’s voice she had needed that too and I had provided that for her.
Eventually Rosalie began to yawn and eventually she drifted off to sleep. She was so pretty. The image of her in her underwear kept on popping into my head. I could not stand it.
I sat thirty feet away from her, curled into a fetal position trying to not think such dirty thoughts about her, still shocked at how lascivious I was being. I had the urge to self-abuse. I was shocked at myself for that.
Surely there was nothing wrong with reaching out and feeling her hair? Of course not. Or touching her lips? No. Or stroking her collar bone? Why would there be? Or fondling – I cut myself off as I reached out towards her. No. This was wrong. It was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. How could I? I wanted to self-abuse very much now. Just so I wouldn’t be tempted to touch her but I refused to do either. How could I think such thoughts? Was I not seeing her as my own little sister? I hadn’t had a real family in so long, surely just considering her a sister was wrong? No, it wasn’t. Wanting to touch her was.
Her sweet and savory scent was strong also; I would have to feed when I got the chance. I didn’t want to place any bets on being able to restrain myself for much longer. I really didn’t want to risk more than a few days.
Finally the sun rose and Miss White began to stir after my agonizingly long night. I hope that never happens again.