Summer of 09'

Caleb's P.O.V.

I stared at the ceiling, my chest tight with the anguish as I studied myself in the mirrors that lay above. I had lost more weight than I needed too, my hair was a mess and the blonde curled up next to me wasn't Riley. She would never be my Rye.

I squeezed my eyes shut, I had been good for so long. Rye had kept me in check and made me want to be a better person. I wasn't a drunken mess, I wasn't a whore. I was finally becoming a Caleb that everyone loved and I was beginning to love myself.

I opened my eyes and tore them away from the ceiling as I pulled myself out of bed and tugged on jeans. I slipped my shirt over head and left a couple bills on the nightstand so the girl could get home. I grabbed my jacket and left the dingy motel room. The sun hit me and I groaned as a headache began to rage on.

My hands reached into my jacket to pull out sunglasses, and I began to walk. Would I ever get over Rye? I had gotten what I wanted, Rye to fall in love with me. But when I saw it in her eyes, I freaked, I knew I freaked. She had been so willing to give herself to me and I could have taken her.

I wasn't good enough for Rye. She deserved someone who could take care of her better than I could. I'd be on the road where women threw themselves at me daily, and alcohol and I could very well do something I'd regret. I stuffed my hands into my pockets as I paused to watch Ava walk into the park with a boy, their hands entwined.

Curiosity drove me to follow them, and I watched to see Rye was curled up upon the plastic slide, the same plastic slide that I had broken her heart on. She was asleep and I watched as the boy picked Rye up into her arms and Ava looked at her, almost with a pained look upon her face.

If my heart wasn't torn already it was now. How many times had she continued coming back to this very spot? I leaned against a tree as they exited and I ran a hand over my face. I pulled my glasses away from my face and slide down to the ground. My body trembled as I finally cried, I let everything go.

How worse could this get?

I tossed my glasses aside and buried my face in my hands. I was pathetic, I was better off without Rye. I had been stupid for falling in love with Rye and now, I was stuck. It was easy to fall in love but it seemed like I would never fall out of love with her. I had let her down and hurt her like so many had done before. She trusted me, she had been ready to give herself to me and then I crushed her.

The ultimate trust and I broke it. I broke her and in the process of all that I broke myself. I lost myself.

I succumbed to the words that told me I could never be what she needed. I could never be right for her no matter. Nothing wouldn't change that, not even love. Right? I took deep breaths trying to relax as I picked up my glasses and slide them on. I stood up and brushed myself off and walked towards the slide, my hands brushing the cool plastic.

"Caleb."

My heart stopped beating as I took off my glasses and turned to stare at Rye, and her face softened as she looked at me. I quickly put my glasses back on knowing my eyes were red from the endless amount of tears I had just endured.

"Rye."

Her lip quivered as tears started leaking down her face, she was breaking and so was I. I knew I should run and never look back but I couldn't. I stepped forward and lifted a hand to wipe away her tears and her hands came to my wrists as she shook her head no.

"Why do you come here?"

"Because this is my last memory of you, this is last time I felt your touch and I felt comfort from you before.. you," And then she crumbled and I pulled her close to me. My own tears starting to cloud my eyes as her body shook against mine. My free hand stroking her hair as she cried, and then she pulled back a little to look at me.

"I love you Caleb, and you just left me. You fucking just left me."

"Because I'm not what you need, I wasn't what you needed. I never could be. I'm always on tour and there is countless alcohol and women all too willing to throw themselves at me. I can't be the Caleb you want or need, I can't Rye. I love you but sometimes love isn't enough."

"But for me, it was enough. It was more than enough Caleb because I trusted you. Even with all those women and alcohol, I trusted you enough to never hurt me. I gave you everything and now I have nothing."

"I'm sorry. It has to be this way Rye."

She looked at me as if I had just slapped her, and she nodded as she pushed her lips together and stepped out of my arms.

"Goodbye, Caleb." She reached down to grab the coat next to the slide, the one she had more than likely come back for and instead she found me. I watched as she looked at me one last time and she walked away, briskly.

Once again, I let love walk away from me.

So here I am and I'm dying,
And I'm waiting for you, waiting for you.
Come back, come back to me,
And I'll take you gladly and I'll take you in again.