Summer of 09'

My fingers twitched upon the keyboard as I continued to type in my blog, my personal sanctum, but everyone could view my desires, thoughts and wants. It was quite the opposite of what you might coin as personal, a little more evasive. I paused as I tried to regain my thoughts but failed, a sigh escaping my lips as I looked at the words across my screen.

The words jumbled together into a incoherent mess, my eyelids feeling heavier than usual. My lips quirked upward with annoyance as I saved the post, I'd proofread it tomorrow I decided. I stretched my arms overhead, working my joins with a few shoulder rolls. I shut down my computer and grabbed my cellphone as I headed towards my bedroom, my steps slow and a little clumsy.

My bed caught me as I fell backwards onto it, I turned my head to the left to stare at my digital clock, the numbers reading 2 am. I rubbed my eyes as I pulled the blankets down and over me, and just as I placed my phone down, it started ringing.

I flipped it open without even seeing who it was, my words slightly slurred from the lack of brain function, I was in ready-to-sleep mode.

"RILEY!" The voice boomed through the phone, the person screamed my name and I instantly had to shove the phone away from my ear, as I winced.

Caleb.

"Caleb, it's two am. I'm not friendly when I'm fully awake. What makes you think I will be when I'm half asleep?" I mumbled into the phone, my voice was low and thick.

"Are you drunk too?!"

I sighed as I put the phone down beside my pillow, he was loud enough to be heard from ten feet away. Boy, he had a hell of a loud voice when drunk.

"No Caleb, I told you, I'm half asleep." My eyes fluttered close and I began to fall asleep until I continued to hear someone screaming my name repeatedly, my eyes flying open and towards the phone.

"Don't fall asleep yet. Riley! I'm being a good boy, don't go sleepy. Stay awake with me." He sounded seven and as if he was afraid of the dark, I forced my self to try and stay conscious. It almost sounded like he needed me, at that thought I felt something stir inside of me.

"How are you being good Jacob. I mean-," I thought for a second, Caleb. Yes, him. "Caleb, I meant Caleb."

"I didn't take home girls tonight, I said no to women! But yes to alcohol. Seee, no sleeaze." He drew out his words, trying to enunciate and articulate them but he failed, miserably.

"Good boy, you deserve a cookie." I said dryly as I rolled over and off of my bed, I landed on the floor with a thump, a groan exploding from my lips.

"Riley! Are you touching yourself? You want to have phone sex with me? I knew you couldn't resist me. I am Caleb Turman, baby."

I pushed myself into a sitting position, my eyes peeking over the edge and onto the bed, my eyebrow cocking at the phone as if it was actually Caleb I was giving the strange look too.

Was he insane?

I climbed back onto the bed and I heard..interesting noises emanating from the other side of the phone, I grew quiet as I listened, "Caleb." I said softly, seductively.

Almost as if I could pull of seductive.

Pfft.

I'm funny.

"Mmmm." He replied, his breathing was coming faster, and well I'm sure he was on his way to cumming as well, but that's a whole different train of thoughts I'd rather not imagine.

"As sexy as you are and as amazing as this for both of us, I have a proposition." , I whispered into the phone and I heard him moan in my ear, my insides melting and butterflies stirring as I tried to imagine Caleb not getting off in my head.

Think Leprechaun's dancing to rap.

The thought worked and I had my composure back.

"I think we should meet up tonight, if you're close. I mean, I could loose a couple hundred pounds, and maybe get the terrible acne cleaned up. Oh gosh, I'd actually have to shower, a couple times. I haven't showered in a week, well actually the worst was a month. So I'm smelling like a dandelion right now. What do you say about getting together? I could wear my string bikini, seeing all 260 pounds of my sexy body."

I heard a cough and a slight choking noise and I took that as my idea working.

"Well, I'm actually going to go, I realized I have a gig tomorrow and it's getting late. Maybe I can pencil you in for some time in the future or when I'm closer by. Uhm. Bye."

I heard the click and rolled off my bed laughing, I didn't even care as I laid there laughing. I had pulled the wool over Caleb's eyes and he fell for it. The funny thing was my blog had a big picture of me displayed, a body shot even and it was evident I only weighed about maybe 130 pounds.

I wouldn't be surprised if he felt like an idiot in the morning. I climbed back into my bed one last time and this time, finally was able to fall asleep with a drunken Caleb yelling at me to stay awake.